bc for this one I'm too lazy to type up an actual story and I'll just put in script dialogue. also a shut out to Lilie79 for the follow!
Imperishable Night Stage 5 Midboss: Tewi Inaba
John: Hmmm, doesn't seem too bad. Nice calming piano music for Stage 5, after all the sh-t that went down with that Reimu bird last stage—
*TEWI SPAMMING BOMBS*
John: HOLY F-CKIGOGNIGNG SHTIT
Sakuya: DON'T GO INTO THE CORNER OF THE SCREEN— *loses last life and bomb* ...May Kanako curse you, John. And you had me as the playable character. Couldn't you show a little respect towards a former vampire hunter?
John: ...I already lost two of my lives to Reimu and a bloody schoolteacher before this.
Sakuya: You were the one who said you could beat Lunatic mode on first try.
John: I beat the first four stages. I beat Reimu, who stole my lives like she was stealing money.
Sakuya: You haven't beaten the whole game. And I think YuugenMagan died at the title screen when she played it. Although considering she is— pardon my language— *^&$ at video games this isn't too much of a shock.
John: Really?
Sakuya: She chose Kirby in Super Smash Bros. and got her butt kicked by the inching. Go figure.
YuugenMagan: *muffled* I CAN HEAR YOU ALL THE WAY IN MAKAI Y'KNOW! ...and I'm so so offended. *sobs*
Perfect Cherry Blossom Final Stage Boss: Yuyuko Saigyouji
George: ...Well, I finally beat her servant as the mid-stage boss.
Reimu: Cool, you reached Yuyuko.
George: Okay, I've gotten past all of your spells now— huh, can't believe I did that without any bombs on Hard mode.
Reimu: ...Wait for it... wait for it...
George: What do you mean? The ending theme hasn't started, maybe it's just lagging.
Reimu: Here we go
*RESURRECTION BUTTERFLY -80% REFLOWERING-*
*BORDER OF LIFE FINAL SPELL THEME PLAYS*
*REIMU DOESN'T DIE BUT GEORGE CHOKES ON HIS WATER*
George:
George: You know, it was all just fine and dandy until that final spell...
Phantasmagoria of Flower View: Medicine Melancholy
Ringo: Okay... little girl dressed in red-and-black with— is that a doll or a fairy?
Youmu: That's a doll. That's just a doll with wings.
Ringo: Doesn't seem like too difficult of a boss.
Youmu: *snickers softly* Yeah... I remember when I didn't take her too seriously because she was just a reanimated doll.
Ringo: Wait... the blonde girl's the doll?
Youmu: Mm-hmm. Quite ill-tempered too. She went into a somewhat genocidal and creepily-detailed rambling about different types of poison. Try and avoid her poison clouds!
*THE PLAYABLE CHARACTER DIES*
Youmu: My question is how you died on easy mode
Embodiment of Scarlet Devil Final Boss: Remilia Scarlet
Marisa: ...And that's the final boss! Remilia Scarlet!
Paul: 'How many slices of bread have you eaten until now?' She seems to be a bit sassy.
Marisa: ...I've only eaten thirteen. I prefer Japanese food. Well, fourteen now that you had me try scone.
Paul: She says she's a descendant of Vlad Tepes...
Marisa: Oh, she's a bald-faced liar.
Paul: We met her before, right?
Marisa: Yep! At that big convention. You should have seen her— brags about how elegant and cool she is but I swore smoke was coming out of her ears. She said it was because it was sunny outside—
*REMILIA SCARLET DEFEATED*
Marisa: ...She was just distracted by your good looks is all. That or she tampered with the game so you would win.
Paul: Did she know I was going to be playing EoSD?
Marisa: ...What makes you think that she wouldn't know?
YOU ARE READING
the big book of oneshots
FanfictionAngeline is an author who, aside from unsuccessfully trying to balance schoolwork and reader inserts, ends up writing some little oneshots of her own in her spare time. Short stories concerning characters, english lyrics to the non-english songs she...
