I HATE THAT I LOVE YOU ! ( byler )

i. Welcome to Hawkins

Note: if you want, the last chapter of this book has a playlist of songs you can litsen to while you read!! K bye!

Philophobia: The fear of falling in love or emotional attachment. The risk is usually when a person has confronted any emotional turmoil relating to love but also can be chronic phobia. This affects the quality of life and pushes a person away from commitment

●●●

"Sweetie! Wake up, you're almost late!" Joyce called as she took the covers off of Will. Will groaned in annoyance, not wanting to get up.

"Wake me up when I care." He said in a deadpan tone and pulled the covers over his body again. Joyce sighed.

"Will, honey. I get that you don't want to go. But this'll be a great, fresh new start!" Joyce explained in a enthusiastic tone, which Will hated. How could she be all enthusiastic and postive about this? Will couldn't understand that. He sometimes just wanted to yell at her how maybe it might be good for her, but for him? He wishes he were dead.

The whole reason they moved here was because of Will's abusive father, Lonnie. Or, he was part of the reason they moved. Every now and then he'd get those memories that sent a shiver down his spine and almost brought him to tears. He still remembers the exact day where they moved. It was the most terrifying day of his life.

Will came back from school. Instantly throwing his backpack on his bed and searching for his personal journal in order to write how his day went. Only he couldn't find it. He panicked, his breathing got shallow in the slightest and his hands trembled a bit. He ran his fingers through his brown hair.

"Where is it-"

"Looking for this?" Will heard a voice behind him speak. He knew who it was, only he didn't want to see him. He turned around and saw his father, with his journal in his hand. He seemed, not angry, furious. Will swallowed hard.

Lonnie opened the journal and skipped a few pages, until he found the desired one.

"Dear diary, today I feel weirder than usual. I have this strange attraction to this boy named Kyle. He's cute, he's lovable, funny, and kind. I love his green eyes and how they seem to bounce and become more alive when he's joyful. I love his dark black hair which is rushed back and put in place with gelly. I love how his voice sounds whenever he talks. I think I'm in love with him. I think I'm gay."

Lonnie finished reading the page, spitting the phrase "I think I'm gay" with venom. Lonnie threw the book and glared at the younger boy who was shaking. Will had warm, salty tears spilling out of his eyes.

"D-dad I-"

"So, you're a gay? Hmm? Now you're gonna go be a disgusting fuck and kiss and 'cuddle' with men?!" Lonnie shouted. Will felt his heart pounding out of his chest.

"Dad p-please! I can explain!" Will cried as his father got closer to him. A menacing look on his face. He grabbed Will by the collar of his shirt.

"Now you litsen to me. I won't stand some fag in my goddamn house. Even if it means I have to beat it out of you!" Lonnie exclaimed through gritted teeth, then shoved Will to the ground with force. He started to throw punches at Will's face and kicked his sides.

Will cried and shouted. He hissed in pain and curled up in a ball as his father beat him into a pulp. "Mom!" He would scream, but Joyce was at work, and she wasn't going to arrive in an hour.

Will was doomed.

After an hour of pain and suffering passed, Joyce came home and saw how injured Will was. He heard shouting and crying, but he couldn't make out the words. His vision was blurry and soon everything went black.