Asfi-Zubi - Love will find a way!

Asfi-Zubi Meet Again (Part 3)

Her heart, wildly hammering, trapped in her chest, sweat on her forehead, she got up with a fright. So this is why the nightmare filled her with dread, because beyond the closed door was the memory of the man she had fallen in love with and had denied her own feelings, denied his importance to her, because she didn't want to share with him her own past, didn't think there was a future.

Zubiya sat on the bed and tried to rub away his picture away from her eyes, but her brain had its own will that day. It refused to obey her, and kept throwing up his images from that other life she had lived, Asfand, looking at her with curiosity trying to read her expressions that afternoon with Faryal; looking at her on  a rainy night, conscious and trying to keep a distance; Asfand, with his eyes fixed on her, deep in love,uncaring of others, in the midst of a sea of people; and, finally Asfand, struggling to understand why she denied she loved him, shell shocked at the way she had just thrown his love back at him.

This is where their story ended because soon after that last meeting, she had pushed a hastily written resignation letter at Dr Shehroze, said her goodbyes hurriedly to Dr Asifa, Dr Haroon and Gaiti. They had all been shocked but there really was nothing she could offer as comforting explanation. Gaiti specially had guessed immediately that it was to do with her brother in law, and had offered her support. In that candid moment, Zubiya had told Gaiti that she didn't think she could be a good enough partner for Dr A, and that her past life was too complicated for them to have any future together.

After leaving Neelum Valley she had taken her Khala Ammi's support and started working in a small hospital. Still the fact that he was in the same country, a few hundred miles away had seemed such a comfort and such a temptation that everyday she would find herself thinking of giving it all up and returning back to Neelum Valley, her pride in shreds. Slowly she realized that she had to be so far away that her treacherous heart could no longer find its way back to him. She started applying for graduate programs in the US and UK, hoping her savings would let her find a good school. She did find an admission in UCSF in their graduate program on Pediatric Surgery, yet even with full ride scholarship, she felt undecided. The decision got made when she happened to meet a nurse from her old workplace who casually informed her that Dr Asfandyar and Dr Gaiti were on leave to prepare for the wedding in the family.

She thought, so he was getting married... And her mind had taunted her... why did she think he would never get married after she rejected him?

Because I am still suffering and how could he forget everything so soon, she answered her mind.........And her mind laughed back in derision...maybe it was to forget her and put a full stop to all the pain she had needlessly caused.

She had suffered the news for days and everyday she would find herself dialing Gaiti to ask her if it was true; she never could dial. But finally one day she had been so restless and upset and had not slept or eaten for days in her tormented agony, she had indeed called up Gaiti, who had picked up after 7-8 rings and had replied in a whisper, " Zubiya?"

Z: Gaiti, yes it is me. How are you?

G: Zubiya, right now the Nikaah ceremony is about to start. Let me call you after  2 days? Okay? Wait for my call?"

Zubiya had put the phone down. She had checked out Faryal's facebook page just to give herself more agony and found it flooded with congratulations on her wedding. She was in shock but her way forward in life was suddenly very clear. She had gone to her hospital, submitted her resignation, booked her flight for  San Francisco, which she had been avoiding for weeks and faxed her acceptance to the graduate program starting in a couple of weeks. And that was how Zubiya had thought she had left behind the man she had loved.