Is It Wrong? (Larina)

#SIX

Over a month has passed since that night and I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about it every day.
Me and Marina are best friends now, we're always talking and hanging out together, we also finished the song and we're gonna perform it at the end of the month, I'm still nervous about it but we've been reharsing it a lot so hopefully everything will be fine.
About that kiss, Marina says she doesn't remember it, so never talked about it with her, but I've been thinking about it every day ever since that night, I liked it, I really did.
It wasn't my first kiss but it's like if it was, I kissed other guys but I never had an emotional connection with them, and even if I did it wasn't nearly as strong as what me and Marina have.
Anyway I'm meeting Marina in an hour and she told me she has a great news to tell me, I don't know what this is all about she seemed very happy on the phone.
We meet at a coffe shop, we both order black coffee, she can't stop smiling and she is so cute, I wanna kiss her so bad- no stop you can't Lizzy, "So, do you know Brandon?" The coolest guy in school, "Yeah we're in maths together why?" She keeps smiling "Well, he asked me out!" Oh.my.God "Oh, that's great M, I'm so happy for you, but when?" I can't believe this is real. "Oh yesterday he invited me at a party at Jesse's house this Friday, and obviously you're coming, Brandon asked me to invite you for his friend Dean"
I'm in shock, "Wait, and why did you think this was a good idea?"
Her smile slowly fades and I start to feel like pure shit. "I mean why didn't Dean invited me by himself?" She looks relieved but I meant what I said, this is a terrible idea and is not going to turn out good I have a really bad feeling.
"Oh ehm, he's very shy and like this is going to be his first date(?) With a girl"
What a strange situation, obviously I don't want to go, but mostly I don't want Marina to get close to Brandon, he's an asshole and I don't want her to suffer, not because I may like her in that way- no stop!
"I don't know M I don't think this is gonna be-" she cut me off with her hand While sipping her coffee, "Well Lizzy, this is where you're wrong, We're gonna have lots of fun and most importantly there's gonna be Alcohol!" She gave me the biggest smile ever and I couldn't resist to her.
I finally gave in and she started to describe me how everything would have been great and Super Fun!
Yet I still had a bad feeling.

Friday came sooner than I expected and after school we went to Marinas house to get ready, she couldn't shut up for a second, "Everything will be perfect" "Oh Lizzy I think I might be in love" me too...
"Oh this is gonna be the best night of our lives"
I already had mine...
"Don't worry nothing bad will happen"
She continued while she curled my hair, and while she did her make up, and while I curled her hair, she was genuinly happy, like a child in a toy store, But still I didn't felt that way.
It took us three hours to get ready and every single second was totally worth it, Marina was breath taking: her red tight dress perfectly hugged her body and her amazing curves, she was the sexiest girl I had ever seen.
And I did a pretty good job with her hair: "I might have a bright future as an hairdresser" I say while looking at her, she smiles and my heart melts, fuck, her lips were red like the dress, her long lashes covered by multiple layers of mascara wich made her brown eyes almost look black, and to finish black eyeshadow and a thin line of eyeliner. She was gorgeous, Brandon doesn't deserve her at all not even her pinky toe, I swear if he makes her suffer Imma break his legs.
"Lizzy you are beautiful, I think Dean will be a very lucky guy."
As if I was intersted in him.
"Me? Look at you M you look like a fucking model! I wish I had a body as sexy as yours" oh I haven't actually said that have I?!
She laughed "Are you serious?! I wish I had your face Liz, you have the most beautiful eyes in the world and your nose Oh don't let me start with how perfect your nose is."
So she thought I was Pretty?
I know how pathetic this must sound but I teared up a bit,
"Oh M no one had ever said such beautiful things about me and my nose" she hugged me thigt and I wish that moment would have lasted forever, I just wanna get lost in her arms, where I feel safe.
That moment was perfect, until that dickhead of Brandon rang the bell,
Marina left me and run downstairs, I followed her with less enthusiasm.
He kissed her on the cheek and then introduced me to Dean, he seems like a nice guy so what the fuck is he doing with a fuckboy like Brandon?
He took my hand and opened the car door for me, I gotta admit he's a cute guy and very good looking, but he's not Marina.
During the ride to party everyone in the car was singing to some songs on the radio, everyone except me, I was looking at Marina trying to get every single moment impress in my memory, I wanna remember her happy like that and beautiful like she was in that moment.
All of a sudden I was sad, I put myself in a pretty shitty situation, what was I supposed to do?
Was I really falling for a girl I barely knew?
No, I knew her, from the first second I saw her near my locker I felt a connection with her, something I had only read of until that moment, it was like we were ment to meet, meant to be together.
But if this is true, then, am I gay?
But gays are wrong, this is what they always told me at church growing up.
But they also taught me that Love is the only thing that matters.
I'm confused now.
If what I feel is wrong, then Why do I feel so right?
One thing is for sure: I'm in love with Marina and if this is wrong then I don't wanna be right.
I love her.
I finally admitted it to myself, I had denied it for over a month, but now it was clear as water I had profound feelings for my best friend.
I was so concentrated in my thoughts I didn't notice we had arrived, people were already wasted and someone was having sex on the grass.
We go inside and Brandon introduced us to his friends, so basically to everyone, then Marina went with him and left me alone with Dean, he hands me a beer and the go outside, in the garden we sit on the rocking chair, we start to talk about music and school and after five beers he askes me: "You love her don't you?" I was in shock, "I see the way you look at her, you love her, oh don't worry I'm not offended, ehm actually I'm gay too."
I was totally shocked my jaw dropped and he closed my mouth laughing, "You're the first one I came out to, funny since we've literally just met, but I feel like I can trust you, do you wanna be my friend Elizabeth?" I smiled he was so cute, "it would be an honour Dean." I say and he hugs me, "Now, since we're friends I can tell you everything so, I think you shoukd tell her you love her, especially 'cause Brandon he's a dick with girls and we don't want her to suffer do we?"
Was he even real?
"No, you're right, I'll tell her"
He looks at me and shakes his head,
"Then go! What are you still doing there?!"
I got up as fast as I could and almost puked, I go inside where everyone is dancing and kissing and drinking and singing and it's too loud oh my God.
I ask everyone that looks sober if the have seen Marina but no one knows where she is.
After I looked everywhere inside the house I go outside, light a cigarette and start walking to clear my mind.
I get to the street and sit on the corner of the road and take my high heels off, I hear a noise to my right, there she was my new best friend, high heels in her hand swaying in the wind, Oh, she starts to cry mascara running down her little bambi eyes, I as I run towards her she screams "Lizzy how I hate those guys!" I'll kill him.
She lets herself go into my harms, and I hug her tight as she cries into my shoulder, I caress her black hair trying to calm her but she just sobs louder, I don't wanna ket her go, never, I wanna protect her from everything, I wanna love her with all my heart and I never wanna see her cry again.
I wanna know what happened but right now she doesn't seem ready to talk about it, I'm still hugging her and she can't stop crying, after about ten minutes of us together in the middle of the desert road she stops and watches me in the face, "I'm so sorry Lizzy, I'm so sorry you were right, he was an asshole." I kiss her on the forehead ad wipe the tears off her cheeks.
"Don't worry M everything is gonna be fine, I'm taking you home now ok?" We returned to the party, and I asked Dean if he coukd get us home with his car, when he saw me he smiled, he was sure I had told Marina about my feelings for her, but I shook my head and he saw the mascara stains on my left shoulder understanding what happened.
The ride to Marinas house was quite, the only sound was the radio playing jazz.
As soon as we got out of the car Marina puked her soul, luckly her mom wasn't at home since she was working all night, me and Dean exchanged our phone numbers and after we got Marina inside he left.
I was alone with my drunk best friend wich I appear to be in love with.
I help her to get undressed and get in the shower, admiring her perfect body in the meantime, I find her some comfy clotes and then I put her in her bed, "Goodnight Marina" i kiss her in the forehead once again, but then she takes my face and kisses me on the lips, again, "Goodnight Lizzy, I love you" if only you knew how much I love you...
"I love you too M, goodnight"
"Lizzy Wait! Can you sing me something?"
She's wasted why not?
I start to sing her our song while she slowly falls asleep looking like an angel.
I start to looking around her room and I find my copy of Lolita opened on her desk, she underlined something and drew hearts on the corner of the page, she was so cute and I smiled, then I saw a calendar with the date of tomorrow circled it said "bday!" Oh shit, I didn't even knew when her birthday was, I wanna make it special and take her out, I wanna make her happy and see her beautiful smile light up the world.