Surrendering Spirit

Chapter 3

Ahren knew it was time, knew that she was coming to him very soon, yet he couldn't help visiting her last night in her apartment. He'd never been closer than in a dream, afraid it would never be enough, but the pull she had on him brought him to her room to stand as a man beside the woman he loved.

He closed his eyes and remembered how the light seeped in through the slats of the window shades and seemed to be directed specifically at Anastasia, highlighting her beauty and causing him to want for the first time in many years, to be alive.

For several minutes, he stood by the bed and watched her, longed for her. Her shiny blonde hair reminded him of a cool summer morning. Her skin a soft shade of peachy cream that he could only imagine would felt like silk. A goddess by any other name. Though her appearance was different now than when they were together before, he still knew her heart. Her soul. She was the one thing his afterlife had been missing and now he was closer than ever.

Covered in blankets, she had looked like a sleeping angel, her hair haloed around her head. Because of his frequency in her dreams throughout the years, he knew she was four or five inches shorter than his corporeal 5'10" frame, but as he watched her sleep, she looked to him nearly equal his size. When he'd imagined being that close to her, she was always bigger than life, now she was his life, or as close to it as could be.

As she roll over in her sleep, her leg escaped the blankets. Ahren reached out to touch her, knowing that he couldn't actually feel her, but still needing to try. When his fingers met her satiny skin, he was more than shocked. A thrill like no other coursed through his ethereal body. At that moment, Ahren knew that some part of him was still alive.

While he gently glided his fingers along her leg from toes to thigh she responded with a soft moan that told him she liked his touch as much as he liked to touch her. Before he realized what he was doing, he was in her bed, lying beside her. In her sleep, she moved so close to him that he knew if he was still able, he would have taken her right then. She was so beautiful.

She's perfect.

Though he intended to just hold her as she slept, when she opened her eyes and looked directly into his, a knowing smile aimed at his soul, he couldn't stop himself. Chastising his lack of control, he went a little further.

And he reached out and brushed her stomach with his fingertips and could see the trail of goose bumps his touch left behind. Craving more intimate knowledge of his beauty, his hand inched slowly upward wanting, anticipating her soft flesh beneath his rough fingers.

On one hand he didn't see what harm it would be for him to stay with her, on the other, her mere presence scared him. But because he couldn't help himself, God knows he had to feel her softness, to touch her and when she responded to him, he knew that it wouldn't be enough just to hold her. It had been a long time for Ahren, he had waited for Anastasia for what seemed like forever.

Though he knew he couldn't truly make love to her as he wanted, as a man does for the woman he loves, he could still give her the passion he himself longed for.

Turning to her, he whispered in her ear.

"Anastasia my love. I only want to make you happy." She smiled in her sleep and Ahren knew that somehow she had heard him and that it was all right.

Ahren placed a small kiss on her forehead and then disappeared, leaving no evidence that he was ever there.

Later that same day, as he thought about Anastasia, Ahren felt a slight bit of regret for what he had done. Rhiannon always talked about her grandchildren, and finally somehow, he'd gotten to touch one of them up close and personal instead of watching them from the spiritual dream plane as he'd done in the past. He would be able to make physical contact with her on this plane.