The Trapeze Swinger

1

Spring, 2003

The early morning air was yet to burn off its winter chill as the coach pulled into the Brighton station bus terminal, its headlights bright beacons catching in the mist. Lou bounced on the balls of his feet beside me, hands fisted deep in the pockets of his overcoat.

"Thank fucking Christ, I thought I was gonna die of hypothermia before this radge cunt showed up," he muttered, his breath hanging suspended in the frigid air. Despite my frozen nose and cheeks I couldn't help but smirk at his outburst, but quickly wiped it from my face as the bus doors clattered open to reveal a scowling driver.
The man's considerable paunch sat so swollen on his lap that his arms had to strain to reach the steering wheel. Flicking a quick glance at Lou, my heart jolted as I realised his mouth was opening to make a comment. He emitted a muffled sound of indignation as I slapped a hand across his mouth to stop him, grinning angelically up at the driver. The man's scowl eased slightly at this, then increased tenfold as Lou sprung lithely up the steps of the bus, flashing our tickets up from out of the navy folds of his coat.
They were snatched from his hand and scrutinised closely, Lou standing with his hands folded neatly behind his back like a pleasant private school boy awaiting instruction.

"I'm sure you'll find everything's in order," he cheerily assured the driver with his best shit-eating grin. Unamused, the portly man grudgingly scanned the tickets before nodding us onboard. Shouldering the holdall of our collective belongings I practically scuttled past him as I followed Lou up the aisle, shaking my head in exasperation as he skipped down to to the backseat.

The bus rumbled into life once more, pulling out of the shelter and rejoining the 5am traffic that was already beginning to leak onto the A27. I couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief as I watched the city roll away, replaced by long stretches of grass and trees. Holdall at my feet, head resting on the windowsill, I could feel the pull of sleep finally calling to me after the nightmare of the past 48 hours.

"Slo, wake up."

Cracking a lead-heavy eyelid, I glared at my older brother with an intensity I hoped equalled that of the disgruntled driver.

"Aw come on now, none of that," Lou teased gently, using his cold hand to pretend to try and smooth out the frown lines on my forehead, "The wind will change and you'll look like a grumpy old cow forever."

"Thanks to your shite talking radge arse I'm definitely gonna fuckin age prematurely," I retorted, laughing as I batted his hands away, "In which case I'll be looking like a grumpy old cow forever anyhow!"

Lou leaned back to scrutinise my face, pursing his lips as if deeply considering my words, before coming in close to stage whisper, "Aye, I think it's already too late for you: bloody dead ringer for that old geezer up there driving the bus."

Snickering, he ducked to avoid my hand as I attempted to cuff him around the head, before growing suddenly serious. I watched the mirth leave his eyes, leaving them flat and grey in the morning light.

"I'm sorry about all this, Sloane," he murmured, looking down at his empty hands instead of my face. I jolted at the sound of my full name, unused to hearing anything other than various nicknames and aliases instead. It made my skin prickle with unease, it conjured up memories better forgotten.

"Sorry we're leaving Whitehawk? I'm sure as hell not," I deflected easily, shoving him playfully in an attempt to break him from his uncharacteristically somber mood. When it didn't work, my agitation only grew, leaving me no choice but to play my wildcard.

"It was so great of Birdie to get us both a job at that carnival place she's working at," I said casually, watching Lou's face from out the corner of my eye. At the mention of his long-suffering girlfriend, his eyes lit up once more, a crooked smile stretching across his features. As relief flooded through me I continued, "Even with such short notice, she really pulled through for us. Do you reckon you've got yourself a guardian angel?"