All For You (Larina)

Chapter 2

Panic.

I couldn’t be able to describe in detail exactly what was running through my head when I saw her being pulled out of that car. Her limp body, the blood that stained her face and her dress, her eyes still slightly parted open, irises wildly searching but seeing nothing at all. Blood and glass littered the pavement underneath her.

I bolted out of my car, forgetting everything. I had to get to Marina. Adrenaline rushed through my veins, making my skin crawl and my hands shake. My legs felt like jello as I frantically rushed over to her. My mind was screaming at me to help her, my heart pounding in my chest. It felt like it was going to burst right then and there.

I had gotten up to the scene when a paramedic stopped me. “Ma’am, you need to step back.” he ordered me, and immediate defiance rushed through me. “She’s my girlfriend! Please, what happened here?!” My voice was shaking, I didn’t even realize tears were cascading down my cheeks.

A sympathetic look crossed his face. “That truck over there,” he gestures to a blue truck that was on it’s side a couple yards ahead of us, “collided head-first into this one. The driver is about to get hauled off..as for your girlfriend...it looks like she’s barely holding on.”

I directed my attention behind the man. Marina was being strapped down to a gurney and put into the back of one of the ambulances. I needed to see if she was still conscious. I pushed past him and quickly approached the ambulance. Two more paramedics were about to stop me, but before they could tell me to step back, the paramedic behind me interfered.

“Let her in.”

I nodded a silent ‘thank you’ to him and climbed inside. I rushed over to her, instantly grabbing her limp, lifeless hand. A large gash was on her forehead, letting blood flow freely down her pale face.

“I-I’m here, sweetheart, you’re gonna be okay..” I cooed as I gripped her hand tighter, wishing she could hear me. Her eyes still wildly darted around, but they were clouded over. “..please be okay..”

~

Fear.

I dread the moment when a doctor comes through the giant double-doors leading to the operating room where Marina is. I’m afraid that they’re going to say she didn’t make it. The thought of Marina dying rips through my heart, leaving me sobbing loudly in the waiting room.

I can’t lose Marina.

I don’t know what I would do without her by my side.

I sigh shakily, still trying to get myself to stop sobbing. I inhale deeply, forcing air into my lungs, then I exhale slowly. I force myself to calm down, I convince myself that Marina will be fine.

I heard someone push open the doors down the hallway, a doctor in blue scrubs emerges from them.

Everything feels as if it’s in slow motion and I’m the only one going at a normal speed. Every step he takes, it antagonizes me by going slower, and slower..

After what feels like endless waiting, his steely blue eyes hold my gaze. He takes off the white mask that covers his face. He opens his mouth to speak, but it feels like forever before he actually does.

“Ms. Diamandis..” he pauses for a second, then continues with a sympathetic and hopeful tone. “..she’s in the ICU. She had some hemorrhaging in her brain from the impact, and we’ve gotten the swelling from the blood to go down some. But, unfortunately, she’s in a comatose state and we’re not sure at this point if she’s going to wake up.” He holds his gaze with mine, then looks down at his feet a little, then back up to me.

“We’re trying the best we can, and she does have a chance here.” He gives me a light smile, trying to cheer me up. I probably looked like an absolute trainwreck, sobbing for two hours straight in that waiting room. I probably looked weak, crying like that, but I couldn’t help it. Marina is my everything, I couldn’t even wrap my mind around the thought of losing her. It scared me so fucking much.

I look down at my feet, taking another deep breath. ‘C-can I see her?” I stutter out. “Hm? Oh, yes, you can see her.” he answers.

He beckons me to follow him with his hand as he turns away and begins walking down a different hallway. I force myself to get up and jog after him, my body is weak from all the sobbing I’ve been doing and I’m emotionally exhausted. I just want Marina’s arms to be around me, and my face to be buried into her neck, keeping me warm and safe. It just that I had never grasped on to the idea of Marina getting hurt; I didn’t think that it would ever happen to her. She was here to be mine and protect me, and I return the favor. But this time, there’s nothing I can do and I can’t help but feel completely hopeless and vulnerable..

He leads me to an elevator, then steps inside himself and pushes a few buttons on the control panel. We ascend, going up maybe two or three floors, before we stop and the doors open up. Alert looking doctors are rushing around to all sorts of people with various injuries, some conscious, some on ventilators. I looked down at my feet as I walked behind the doctor, avoiding anyone that might have been looking at me.

We approach a door which he pushes open and leads down another hallway with numbered rooms. We approach room number ICU 15, and he turns around, facing me. “This is her room,” he explains. “Just let us know if you need anything.” he turns on his heel and walks back into the other area where all of the doctors are scrambling around and helping patients.

I take a deep breath, putting my hand on on silver doorknob. Shutting my eyes, I turn the handle slowly, pushing the door open. I open my eyes, then step inside, letting the door click shut behind me.

There she lay, with tubes stuck in her arms, a mask attached to her face, and all sorts of equipment hooked up to her to monitor her breathing, heart rate, so on and so forth. There were bandages on her head, wrapped all the way around her skull, and bandages for her cuts and bruises.

My feet felt like cinder blocks. I felt glued to the spot I was standing at, just a few feet away from her. I didn’t even want to touch her, she looked so fragile enough as it was. As if I were to touch her, she would crumble.

But, I still force myself forwards. I take a seat in the plushy grey chair next to her bed, and I take her hand in mine. I swallow hard, looking at her face closely. Makeup is still smudged around her eyes.

Sighing out another forced intake of air, I sing quietly:

“All my dreams and all the lights mean nothing If I can’t have you.”

~

Author's note: If you like this, please give me feedback. Thank you! c: xoxo