All For You (Larina)

Chapter 3

Marina’s POV

How far would you go for the one you love?

I lay within my own mind as if it is a prison sentence. I don’t know how long I’ve been here, or how long I will be here..I don’t exactly know how I got here, or what exactly is going on with me.

Am I dead?

“Oh, heavens, no. You’re not dead.” a Scottish accent is prominent in the voice that speaks to me. Suddenly, everything seems to materialize around me. I’ve been embodied again, everything around me is white. It’s almost blinding.

“Marina.” the voice says again, and I begin to recognize who is speaking to me. With no sight of him in my peripheral vision, I turn around slowly. Dirty blonde hair, short beard, and big smile.

“Calvin?”

He nods slowly. He opens his mouth to speak, hesitating a little bit. “Do you know what happened to you, Marina?” he asks me, cocking his head to the side a little bit.

I try my hardest to remember, but nothing comes up. I draw a blank, shrugging. I shake my head, searching in his eyes for the answers.

He sighs, and one of his hands come up to rest in his short hair. “Well..hmph. You were in a car crash. And I don’t want to worry you, but you’re not exactly alive, but you’re not..well, dead, either. You’re kind of..” he pauses for a second, trying to word what he’s going to say. ‘A-ha! You’re in between.”

I groaned loudly, running my hands through my hair. “What exactly does that mean? Am I going to live?” I ask him, and I start to pace around. I need to get back to my life. I need to get back to Lana. Fear and nervousness start shooting through my nerves, making me tremble.

“Hey, hey. Calm down, It’s alright. You actually have a choice here, you know.” he assures me, putting a hand on my shoulder. Tears start forming in my eyes and I turn back and face him.

“How do I get back?”

He breathily exhales again. “You’re ever so eager. I have to explain the rules to you a bit, there’s a process to all of this, you know?” He smiles, trying to lighten the mood a bit. I smile a bit with him, a light laugh escapes my lips. “Yeah, sorry, It’s just..I don’t want to die, you know?”

“Nobody does. It just happens, and there’s nothing we can do about it. I accepted the fact that I am dead, and I moved on.”

I frowned. I remember the call that I got from Ellie the night that Calvin died. She was so frantic, practically screaming at me to come help her. I recall her sobbing into my shoulder, clinging on to me like I was the last person she had. Stroking her light blonde hair, reassuring her that everything would be okay.

“God, I hate reading your thoughts.” he mutters. I slapped his shoulder, faking being offended. “Speaking of Ellie...how is she doing?” he asks, his eyes softening a bit as he mentions his former lover.

“She’s actually doing pretty well. She still misses you, a lot. She refuses to go on a date, or even hang out with guys any more. But, career-wise, she’s doing better than I am.”

His face softens. “I’m glad to know she’s doing well.And if you get the chance...tell her I miss her too.”

I nod. “I will, promise.”

“I appreciate it. Now, I have to explain this to you…” once again, he pauses. “Sorry, I’m not very good at this. First time helping someone either transition or go back.” He apologizes. I shake my head.

“Well, here’s the deal. Either you can choose to move on, or you can go back. But, in order to go back, you have to understand why you’re alive.”

I cocked my head. I didn’t exactly catch on to what he was saying. “Why exactly do I have to understand why I’m alive?” I question.

He . “I heard that we get this alot.” He paces a bit, his brow furrowed, a frown was forming on his face. “It’s kind of hard to put into words. Essentially, we kind of make you understand that life is precious, and that you should savour every moment of it, because you never know when it’s going to end.”

I understand where he’s coming from now, so I nod. But, what exactly do I need to do? I look down at my feet, sighing.

“What do you want to do?” he asks.

I don’t hesitate to say that I want to live. I can’t leave my life right now, and I absolutely can’t leave Lana right now.

“What I’m trying to say, is,well..” Hesitation. “..you want to go back to Lana, so you have to prove that you’re truly devoted to loving her, and not being selfish.” I thought to myself If I were to do this would I really be enough for her? It made me feel a bit worthless. Did I really put my career before Lana?

“Hey, now. Don’t get yourself down like that, Marina. I know that you two are devoted to each other.”

I make another face. “Stop reading my thoughts, Calvin. Privacy.” He throws his hands up in defense and takes a step back.

“I guess it’s better if I just show you how this works.” he mutters. “Tell me, can you remember the day you first realized you were in love with Lana?”

I look down at my hands, trying to remember when I first fell in love with her. Taking a deep breath, I tell Calvin. “Last fall, when we went to Coney Island back when she was on tour, and we were in New York. She always told me it was her favorite place back when she lived there, you know,  before she got famous.” I exhale, and all of the good memories and feelings of that place flood over me.

I looked back up at Calvin, and he was grinning at me. The room started to blur, and the air around me constricted.

In the next second, he was gone. I was weightless, and everything felt as if it were moving in fast motion.

Suddenly, I landed on my feet. A cool breeze blew past, ruffling my hair. Confused, I looked at my surroundings. The lights, the boardwalk, the people walking past me, giggling and playing. I looked higher in the sky and noticed the Ferris Wheel at the end of the boardwalk.

The familiar smell of the place made me realize where I was. Coney Island.

“Hey, sweetie, are you alright?”

Sharply inhaling, I look directly left. There she is, with her straight auburn hair falling past her shoulders and down her back, the tight black leather jacket, and dark blue skinny jeans. Lana.

Then, everything hit me. I’m back at the night I first fell for her at Coney Island.

I take a deep breath, recollecting all of my thoughts. “Yeah, I’m alright. I just got a little lightheaded for a second.’

A look of concern crosses her features, but she gives me a light smile. “You sure?”

I nod my head. She takes her hand in mine. "Then come on, let's have some fun!" She exclaims as she starts pulling me towards the gates.

~

Author's Note: Sorry, this chapter is kind-of all over the place. It's the product of an all-nighter. Anyways, plot twist! If you like it, please let me know. c: