langst one shotssss

thoughts // shance

TW: self harm
This one has a kinda happy ending

...

"Try harder Lance!"

"Shut up!"

"Stop being so immature!"

The words echo through my head and I sit on my bed, curled up in a ball. Tear fall down my face and wetting my pillow as i choke back sobs. I lift my pillow and look at the knife under it. I grab it quickly before walking off to the bathroom. I stand in front of the mirror and stare at my tear stricken face

"Ugly"

I look at myself in disgust, i have a face not even a mother could love. I wipe the tears off my face and grab the blade in my shaky hand. I look down at the cuts and scars running up my arm.

"Disgusting"

I drag the blade across my wrist a few times wincing slightly. Is it horrible that im used to this ? I slice and slice until drops of blood hit the floor. I sigh and wrap my arm in some bandages and clean up the floor. I look and realize its about time to go to breakfast. I get ready quickly and make sure my jacket sleeves cover my wrists. I walk into the dining room and sit down.

"You're late Lance, again" Allura says bitterly. I put up my flirt persona and respond.

"Sorry, but Beauty takes time" I say flashing my teeth and winking.

"Stop fooling around Lance, we have a serious team bonding activity today and you need to be focused" She says firmly, I nod and begin to eat as the others chat amongst themselves.

After we all finish, we walk to a training room where Allura stands infront of a pod that looks like the healing pods, but it has a screen the exact same size as the pod next to it.

"Today Paladins, we will be entering this pod, you will enter and on this screen" she says pointing to the screen. "It will show all heath conditions, mental and physical" she states. I start to panic, shit, i need a way out of this, theyll think im weak and- "Okay, who would like to go first" Allura says scanning all 5 of us. No one says anything, then i pipe up breaking the silence. "Can i go last?" i say quietly. Everyone looks at me a little confused but Allura nods and Shiro volunteers to start. He steps in the pod and a copy of him appears on the screen. It shows lots of scars across his body and of course where his arm is missing. We all expected what we saw, then on the side it analyzed his mental condition. PTSD along with mild depression showed up, this wasnt a huge surprise but we all hugged him as soon as he got out. One by one everyone went until it was my turn, my anxiety heighted and I gulped. "Can.. Can maybe not do this one?" I quietly ask. "Im sorry Lance, but we dont want any secrets between the paladins, this will make up a better team" she says calmly. I feel Shiro lay a hand on my shoulder and i look over and see him smiling softly at me. "You got this" he days before patting my back and leading me into the pod. I blush slightly and step into the pod and look at Shiro "Please dont hate me after this"

3rd POV

"Please dont hate me after this" Lance says quietly before stepping into the pod, leaving Shiro confused and unable to respond. Shiro looks at the pod in confusion before stepping back to the rest of the team and waiting for the image to show up. What is he talking about? Shiro thinks, before a gasp from Pidge knocks him out of his thoughts. He looks up at the screen and looks at the copy of lance. His eyes go wide and he starts to tear up. Thin lines appear across the fake Lance's arms and thighs.
"I thought he stopped" Hunk says quietly through tears. Keith only stares. Pidge is on the verge of tears, no one would've thought that Lance of all people, cuts. Allura quickly pull up the Mental health scan to get that gruesome image off the screen, but what shows up on the brain scan, is worse. We all study it closely before pidge and hunk burst into sobs.

Mental Scan Results

- Severe Depression
- Anxiety Disorder
- Suicidal Tendencies

As everyone stares at the scream, the pod hisses and opens and Lance stumbles out. He looks over and the team and smiles slightly. "It seem worse then it is?" he says, it sounds more like a question than a statement. Shiro looks up quickly and runs over to Lance and encases him in a bear hug. "Come to me next time" He says on the verge of tears. Everyone joins in on the hug and Lance smiles.

"Okay"