you say soul mate, i say ah hell

new beginning

                  The past few days have been emotionally and physically draining for me. Everyday i walk through school and the pack with a smile on my face. But the moment my bedroom door closes i break down. The pain is still super strong, i havent taken my ring off once. And whats worse is ive been ill lately ive been puking so i set up a doctors appointment to get checked out.

               Today its officially been a week since Judes passing, and im finally going back to school. I got up and walked to my bathroom. I groaned when i saw my reflection. Me eyes were puffy and my nose red from crying.I jumped in my shower as the hot water hit my back succesfully helping me relax. I washed my body and hair with my cherry blossom shampoo and body wash. Once i was done showereing i pulled on white shorts and a red tanktop with a white cut off one shoulderd top that said #if your reading this then you are starring at my chest# then it showed an arrow for u to look at the back then it said#now your checkin out my butt, i suggest u stop before i let you check out my fist# i loved this shirt because it was just funny. I put on my black sandals and braided my hair.For my makeup i put light pink eyeshadow with black mascara and eye liner with cherry lip gloss. I smiled it was time for me to move on. Its what Jude wanted.

              I ran out to my car with a huge smile. For the first time since jude died i felt peace. Jude would always be with me but i cant sulk he wouldnt want that. As i pulled into the school parking lot i had to hold a laugh at everyone expression. Since everyone was a werewolf at this school they all new about Jude and thaught i would be gone longer.I parked my car and jumped out. I saw Jebs back to me and took off running. I jumped on his back wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist.:Hows my favorite omega doin" I asked cheerfully. My Bella,Jay,Jeb,and a few others gave me weird looks. You see when i said i was being strong infront of my pack that didnt mean i was ever happy just i wasnt balling constintly.I jumped of Jebs back and smiled at Bella.Bella gasped and her eyes went wide "Rav wheres your ring, did you finally take it off."she asked. Lately she kept telling me taking it off would help my grieving process. I smiled"Sorta but he will always be  by my heart"I pulled the chain around my neck out from under my shirt to show my ring on it. She smiled"How you doin really r" I held a chuckle she cared way to much about me."I have a feeling somethin great will happen today, And the thing with jude is i feel peace. He will always be my first love even if i move on which i will.Im not letting him go im just making room for someone new." They all smiled obviously relieved that i wasnt dieing on the inside.

        For some strange reson this morning i found a new tattoo that said<true love will find you again>written in a dark blue cursive on my wrist. Obviously the moon spirits have a plan for me because lately things have been coming unravled. Secrets and lies will soon be discovered i can just feel it. But that  doesnt mean i want to find them.

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srry short chapter i know. nut promise it will get better