New Girl (Book no.1)

12// The Truth

We sat for five minutes in silence. It was comfortable, like always but there was a cloud, a grey cloud looming above the both of us. I could see Chloe going over every detail in her brain, how she squinted her eyes and rubbed her temples with her thumb and fore finger as she went over everything in her head. It must be like a machine in the there, how couldn't she think so hard over events that had only happened today. I couldn't care if she went all around the world to tell me what happened; I just needed to know soon. I cared about Chloe more than any other girl and I have no clue why? Yes she's different and there is a common topic between the two of us but I don't quite understand myself why I cared so much. I guess I enjoyed her company, the conversations we have, the things we share and the silences like this which are never awkward or involve one of us faking a cough to fill the silence. I didn't feel like I had to say anything to her, to impress her or to make it less awkward for the both of us, it was nice.

The quiet whistling of the wind as it brushed past us and blew my hair forward and Chloe's round her face, she pushed the strands off her face and let the dying wind settle. She kept fiddling with her hands in her lap and I picked up it was a nervous habit of hers but I never thought I could make this girl nervous. The way she arrived on the first day of school and with so much confidence and attitude was the hottest thing ever! She nodded her head a couple of times to herself before she opened her eyes. She turned her body to face mine and gave me that same fake smile she plasters on every day for everybody to see. I want to see her real smile, I bet it’s beautiful and reaches her blue eyes. Fuck, Harry I need to stop thinking like this about Chloe, fuck I need to stop thinking like this in general.

I took breath to clear my mind, I have to let her talk, I can't interrupt her, she'll get pissed off with me and no one wants that. Chloe seemed to be doing the same she was taking a long breath before she finally parted her natural pink lips to talk to me.

"Harry, you’re going to hate me," she spoke quietly still looking into her lap at her fumbling hands. How could she every think that I'd ever hate her? I don't and won't hate her. "I erm, saw Liam on Sunday." She continued and moved her right hand up to itch the back of her neck to avoid my eye contact. I just wanted her to carry on, to know why she thinks I would hate her. Whatever she had to say must be better that her spending an hour of her time with Liam on Sunday the day after we made out in my mums car.  "I err, this morning, he asked me to erm go out with him again." She mumbled her words as she told me. Her eyes finally met mine and she swallowed a lump that was forming in her throat.

All I could think was how much of a little fucker Liam was. He's gone and ruined everything for me. I can't believe him, but then I can't believe myself this isn't me, or isn't the me I'm used to.  I don't chase after a girl, I don't plan to ask them out on dates, I don't plan to spend time with them or even give a fuck about them. But here I am, sat with Chloe in the middle of our schools courtyard while she tells me my best mate beat me to asking her out. I'm so fucked up but so is the girl in front of me, making us so right for one another it’s clear to those who can see and understand us. 

"I've said yes and I think, I think he's going to ask me to be his girlfriend." She choked on her last words and I couldn't help but tap her back to make sure she was okay. All these little things just contradict my whole persona I've spent three years building. I'm always comforting her, it just seems natural.

"That's why I was crying Harry; I can't hurt Liam, but whoever I choose I'll end up hurting the other. I know you're so much stronger than Liam, but I need someone like Liam in my life Harry."

She was breathing heavier now like it hurt to get her words to form or even make them leave her mouth. Yes she was correct I am stronger that Liam but that doesn't mean she can hurt me and spare his feelings because I'm the stronger one. I've been through enough shit already in this life and the wound was just starting to heal but it felt as if Chloe was stabbing the knife even further into me this time.