intrigue ' sirius [editing]

xiii. regret

chapter
↳ thirteen
moodboard
↳ unfinished

-

"You wanted to kiss him?" Demetria looked absolutely shocked as she stared at her friend.

Millie tugged the cap of her hat down over her eyes and nodded. "Just for a second. I think it was pity though."

Demetria huffed and stretched her legs out on the compartment bench. The two had managed to find an empty cart after politely declining Lily's offer to sit with her and Marlene. Benji was with them as well, which made Demetria want to sit there, but then Sirius and James shuffled in, so Millie was definitely out. "It's still weird though, what he said about his house. Why do you think he freaked out like that?"

Millie shrugged, eyeing the pumpkin pastie in her hand. "I mean, we just had our midterm exams. Maybe he was stressed about them. I know when I'm stressed anything can set me off. Besides, he's in the same boat as me, isn't he? With the whole "parents hating your house" thing?"

Demetria reached over, knocked a piece off of Millie's dessert and popped it into her mouth, lips screwing shut around the treat. "But doesn't it make you curious the way he snapped at Regulus? What'd he say again?"

"He asked if Regulus would be able to protect me," Millie said, not really concerning herself with the words. "I guess from death eaters?"

"I bet his parents are abusive," Demetria stated bluntly, making Millie furrow her eyebrows in concern. "It would make sense, wouldn't it? Why he freaked out about the thought of you being there, why he called his own home hell, why he lives with the Potters now."

Millie groaned and lay on her back, chewing the remainder of the pastie. "It's not really our business, is it? And I'm sure that isn't true, since Regulus is still with them."

Demetria seemed to agree with this. "True. Regulus would probably hate his parents just as much as Sirius does."

Millie felt a gnawing in the back of her mind, like something wasn't right. "At least, I'd hope so. It'd be horrible if Sirius had to go through it alone."

She and Demetria fell asleep soon after that, both a bit troubled in their own thoughts.

-

"Why would he suggest that knowing the dangers?" Sirius fumed, his head on Benji's lap.

Benji patted Sirius' head sympathetically. He knew all about Sirius' home life, and was quite possibly the only one outside of the marauders that knew (save Lily of course, but she managed to get every secret out of everyone for some reason.) "You have to remember that Regulus didn't have the same childhood that you did."

Sirius turned on his side, allowing his hair to fall over his face. Benji carefully brushed his hair away, only for Sirius to brush it right back in his face. "I'm sad."

"I know."

Remus walked in then, and one look at Sirius had him kneeling down to make eye-contact with his best friend. "What's this about, Padfoot?"

"Regulus invited Millie to Grimmauld and if I hadn't of intervened she might have gone."

Remus let out a low whistle, "D'you think your parents would try to coerce her to their side?"

Sirius shrugged, looking supremely upset. "That or find out she's against them and take it out on her. You know Millie stands up for herself."

"She's okay now, though," Benji promised. "She's in the other compartment with Demetria. You can go check on them if you'd like."

"I literally made a fool of myself by crying into her shoulder," Sirius said, "I don't think seeing her now would be such a good idea."

"Well, you'll have to see her Christmas Day. I've invited Benji, Millie, and Demetria to our house for Christmas."

"Don't you want to stay with your parents?" Sirius asked.

Benji frowned. "No. They aren't very nice to Millie or Demetria, and I don't want either girls in that situation over the holidays. If my parents make a fuss, I suppose I'll stay home to appease them."

"I hate parents," Sirius muttered. "No offense to those of you who have good ones, but Merlin they can be a horrible part of life."

"That's why you're with us now," James said gently, and it occurred to Benji that the bespectacled boy must've heard this narrative before. For a moment he felt like he was intruding on a moment of friendship.

It wasn't like the four dorm mates had meant to leave him out of things, it just happened to be the way the cookie crumbled. Benji had trouble committing to anyone as more than a casual friend (which is perhaps the reason he has yet to ask Demetria to be his girlfriend). Even now, six years into their friendship, he still felt like an outcast. Truthfully, he wished he were in a cart with Lily and Marlene. They were a lot closer to him than the boys were. It just seemed that Sirius got close (physically and emotionally) to everyone he met. In a way, that was a small blessing.

"I'm gonna check on them," Benji said, carefully lifting Sirius' head off of his lap. It didn't take long for James to take his spot, and soon the four remaining boys were talking in low, inaudible voices.

Benji rounded the doorframe just to come nearly nose to nose with Regulus Black. "Oh. Hello."

Regulus smiled, "Benjamin, right? You're Mildred's brother?"

"She likes Millie better. You should respect that," Benji spoke sharply, turning his nose up slightly the way he had seen Millie do it when she talked back to people. "—and my name is Benji, thank you very much. Also, I really don't appreciate you going against my sister's wishes. She said she didn't want to join your side or whatever so you shouldn't pressure her. Enough is enough."

Regulus shook his head at Benji and smiled before looking up at him. He reached up and ruffled Benji's hair. "You're cute, you know that? You and Mildred both have that way of trying to look intimidating. It just doesn't work."

"Millie," Benji corrected icily, swatting Regulus' hand away. "Your words are horribly patronizing."

"Are they?"

Benji frowned, "You're on the bad side; you know that right? You're going to lose. Haven't you read any books? The good guys win. Why can't you just leave your parents like Sirius did?"

"Don't compare me to him," Regulus said lowly. "You don't know a thing about my family."

"And you don't know a thing about mine," Benji shot back, raising his voice for the first time. "So stop trying to sway Millie in your direction. She gets enough of that from everyone else, do you think she wanted it from her boyfriend, too?"

"I'm protecting her, just like my parents are protecting me," Regulus said in defense.

Benji turned to look for witnesses before he glared at Regulus, "You could choke on your spit right now and I would so not cast anapneo."

Regulus chuckled and walked backwards, towards one of the compartments his friends were in. "Is that the best you have? Like I said, cute."

-

a/n

triple update. buckle in bc it's (hopefully) gonna be a bumpy ride