xvii. confessions

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chapter
seventeen
moodboard
wild morale

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Millie lay across her bed inside of her and Demetria's secret room. Pinky, her midnight black cat had followed them up and was now kneading her sharp claws into Millie's stomach. Other than wincing a few times, Millie made no sign that she was in pain.

Demetria was ranting about Benji again, and this time it was because he kept avoiding whenever Demetria would drop hints. "You don't know how frustrating it is for him to be so oblivious to my love. How come you can kiss anyone you want and yet I can't get the one boy I love to kiss me?"

"I don't kiss anyone I want," Millie protested. Lazily, however, since the statement wasn't exactly true. She had been on her kissing game a lot lately, but if she tried to explain it to Demetria, the latter would never understand.

There was this strange feeling that had been at the base of her stomach since winter break. She could only chalk it up to kissing Sirius, and how it must've made her realize just how much she liked the pleasurable sport. That would explain the fleeting urge to kiss him that she got every once in awhile. It would also explain why these feelings left quickly as soon as she latched her lips onto someone else's.

So Demetria was right, Millie was kissing everyone. She liked it too. She never knew kissing could be such a stress reliever from the thought of upcoming exams.

"You don't have to lie, it's just us," Demetria said. "And are you ever gonna tell me what kissing Sirius Black felt like? Or am I just gonna have to guess?"

Millie felt a pull somewhere around her chest and for the life of her, she could identify the feeling. "It felt nice."

"Details, Millie. Better than Regulus?"

Millie pursed her lips. She didn't like comparing people to others. "Different than Regulus."

"Why are you being so vague about it?"

Millie ran her hand down Pinky's back, noticing that her bright pink nail polish somehow matched with the cat's fur. Her mind went a mile a minute, struggling to find the words. "Well, don't tell him I said this. In fact, don't tell anyone I said this because it's a complete matter of opinion and I don't need people speculating and over analyzing my words—"

"Spit it out, Mill."

Millie frowned at her friend, but agreed. "I think it was the best kiss I've ever had."

Demetria rose her eyebrows, "Seriously? He's that good?"

"I wouldn't say he's a better kisser, but his kiss was warm and tingly. In a good way, like it felt comforting and hot at the same time." Millie felt stupid for saying the words out loud. To her they sounded like she was some third year describing their first kiss. "Forget it, it's nothing really."

Demetria stood up and straightened her shirt, "You are absolutely, positively the smartest person I've ever known, but you sure are dumb sometimes."

Without another word she left, leaving Millie to figure out what she meant.

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