When you tell the world you're mine

Chapter 1 - The day I met you

PART I

AUGUST 2016

The cloudy day matched how she was feeling inside. She just knew. She knew she had failed, yet again. She was already dreading arriving home to tell her mom that she didn't get the job she needed. She knew that her mom would be disappointed but would manage to put on a smile and say that she'd find one soon enough. She knew that they'd soon have to get a loan in the bank to help pay all the bills. And she thought about every single one of them. Specially one: her education. She wanted to have a break at college, because it was their biggest expense. She'd be sad, of course, but fine with no attending classes if it meant that they would be able to pay for everything without her mom overworking herself, but her mom was determined to not have it happen. 

While she walked through Paulista Avenue, one of her favorite places in her city, she was lost in her thoughts, in her worries and in her fears. She saw a typical day on the financial centre of São Paulo. Men in suits, women in work attire, most of them walking hurriedly while talking on their phones without really looking around and appreciating the beauty inside this concrete jungle. She also saw students leaving their schools, cheery, loud and happy, without a care in the world. Most of them heading to one of the various restaurants nearby to have lunch. She walked more blocks than she needed to, until she arrived at a subway station. She got in and made sure to check twice for direction that she had to take. Even though this part of the city was well known for her she wasn't trusting her mind at the moment.

As always, she couldn't find a place to sit and stood for the full 30 minute ride. She didn't notice any of it. She arrived at ther station and simply walked to the bus station. She was trying to think a way for her to get a job. She had already tried sending her resume to all her friends, and friends of friends. She had already gone to almost every mall in the city and delivered it in almost every store. In some of them, the manager would be simpathetic and lay out the truth: "We're not hiring right now. You know, the crisis...". In others would just say that they'd call if a spot would be available. None called. She understood that they were living in a financial crisis. She knew that she wasn't the only one unable to find a job. Statistics said that Brazil had right now more than 12 million unemployed people. And was in the middle of a political crisis. And facing a big recession.

She didn't notice she was arriving home until she almost missed her stop. She walked through the streets of her neighborhood, looking at the simple houses, the children playing carelessly and barefoot in the street, and wanted to get home as soon as possible to get rid of her high heels that were already hurting her feet. She did it first thing after opening the door. She lived in a small house with her mom. It wasn't big, but it was home for her. Confortable enough for both of them. It had simple white walls in all rooms, but was painted a pale green on the outside. Every single space of the house showed their personality on the furniture and decorations. It was the first house she lived in after her parents divorce. It was way simpler than the apartment she lived in before. And she loved it with all her heart. She changed clothes quickly and headed to the kitchen to start dinner. The kitchen had grey and white tiles and a big window near the stove, where she could look at her patio and her mom's garden. She washed her hands and opened the cabinets to start sorting the ingredients for the meal she was going to make. She put on a soft music on the background to listen to while chopping the vegetables. Soon the music "Just Breathe" started playing and she smiled. That was the first time she smiled on that day. Cooking had become a therapy for her, and she loved doing it.

A few hours later, her mom arrived. She knew it by the way the keys turned in the gates when she opened it, the way her steps sounded on the floor of their lateral patio and for the smell of cigarrettes that lingered on her clothing.