Change of Heart

Part 33

A/N - Thank you for the comments lately, it's been really lovely to see people seem to be enjoying this! I can only hope people keep enjoying it after this...

The house was quiet as she began to stir that morning. Light seeped through the curtains as she opened her eyes, running a hand across her face gently before turning to her side to see what the time was. It was almost 10 and yet there was no noise coming from the house. Her eyes drifted across to the note that had been propped up alongside the alarm clock.

Thought you could do with a rest so we've taken Grace for a walk. Will be back for lunch. Duffy x

Placing it down, she twisted back in the bed to look towards Jacob with a small smile. The feeling of waking up next to him was unlike any other but this morning it was a bittersweet one. She knew that today would be the last time for a while that things would be the way they were right now. She couldn't let him leave with her, no matter how many times she tried thinking of it she couldn't let it happen.

Jacob had so much here, friends and not to mention his own family. For Connie it had been easy to pick up and leave but he had so much more. There would be no easy way to say it, and she wasn't sure he would ever truly understand why she was doing it but she'd made too many mistakes in her life to let him make this one. She wanted to be with him more than anything, but leaving for London wasn't going to solve anything.

Pushing everything to the back of her mind for now, she turned over moving a hand to his chest feeling the warmth from beneath it. He seemed fast asleep, a small smile coming to her lips as she gave herself a moment to just look at him. She watched how his chest rose and fell slowly as he breathed in a lazy slumber. She traced her fingers slowly over his tattoo, following the lines beneath. "God this would be so much easier if you'd never come to find me..."

Letting go of a breath she closed her eyes for a moment before turning onto her back looking up at the ceiling. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't remain there. Turning back onto her side she moved a hand to his chest once more before moving herself closer to him. Trailing her hand up over his chest, she let it rest to his shoulder as she leaned down to his lips kissing him gently. She smiled against his lips feeling his arms raise to the small of her back.

His fingers moved back and forth slowly over the dip of her back as she parted from his lips. "Morning beautiful..." She smiled somewhat sadly as he placed a hand to her cheek. "I could get used to waking up with you." Connie smiled falsely as she lay her head down to his chest hiding her expression. "What time do you have work?" "I'm on the night shift but I need to head home and shower." Connie lifted her head with a small smile as she nodded. "Just wait for Grace to come back before you leave? I'll never hear the end of it if she doesn't say goodbye to you."

He laughed running his fingers through her hair. "Well then for firecracker I shall stay right here until she's back... In the meantime, how about we make the most of this alone time?" He wiggled his eyebrows causing Connie to roll her eyes back before he pushed her backwards to lean down above her. "You laughing at me?" "Would I ever dream of it sweet cheeks?" She wrapped an arm around his placing her other hand to his chest before he closed the space between them. She couldn't push the thoughts from her head that she shouldn't be doing this now, knowing it would only make it harder later. But it was already an impossible task, so what was one more time for the road...

The front door shut as Grace moved skipping into the living room, Connie and Jacob coming downstairs as they began hearing chatter. "Ah, glad to see you two made it out of bed this morning." Connie smirked towards Charlie as Jacob pushed her forwards a little more so that they could sit down on the sofa. "I've been warned that the department is a mess, sounds like we have a fun shift on our hands tonight." Jacob groaned dropping his head backwards causing a small smile to cross Connie's face.

Another hour went by as Jacob checked his watch. "Right I best be off, I need to get sorted before the shift from hell." Connie had fallen quiet as she simply nodded watching Jacob head off to find Grace. She lingered in the doorway as he encased Grace in a hug, her arms around his neck as she began laughing while he tickled her. "I'll see you soon firecracker." "Bye bye Jacob."

She soon let go returning to what she'd been doing before as Jacob stood up seeing Connie already turning away towards the door. "Bye Charlie, thanks for letting me stay. I'll see you tonight at work." Charlie nodded as he wandered out of the room to where Connie stood waiting. "Hey, you've seemed quiet all afternoon, everything okay?"

Connie swallowed past the lump in her throat nodding, forcing a smile as she felt his arms move around her waist. She pulled him close, her arms around him tightly as she buried her head into his chest. She could feel the tears springing to her eyes as she held onto him, not being able to find the right words for the moment. Jacob pressed a kiss to the top of her head as she held onto him. "I love you, always remember that." Jacob smiled resting his chin over her shoulder as he hugged her a little tighter, oblivious to everything she was thinking. "I love you too Con..."

Inhaling deeply and pulling a mask over how she felt, she stood up stepping away as he pulled his coat on. "I hope the shift isn't too bad for you-" "Oh I'm sure I'll survive, besides it's amazing what the thought of you will get me through." She smiled slightly as he moved to open the door before turning back to her, placing a kiss to her lips gently. "See you soon sweet cheeks." She could do nothing but nod as she let him walk out the door, watching him disappear before closing the door and resting against it for a moment letting the tears fall.

"Mummy?" Connie quickly lifted a hand wiping beneath her eyes not having noticed her daughter appearing beside her. "Hey baby-" "Why are you sad Mummy?" Bending down to her daughters level she shook her head gently. "I'm not sad sweetheart, I promise... I need you to go upstairs for me and make sure everything's in your bag, can you do that for me?" Grace nodded moving on off up the stairs as Connie finally noticed Duffy just inside the doorway watching her.

Connie swallowed past the lump that had reappeared in her throat. "You didn't tell him you were going did you?" As she looked away from the older woman, she was unable to stop the tears from falling as she was quickly encased in a tight embrace. "Oh Connie when will you ever let yourself be happy..." Wrapping her arms around the other woman she inhaled deeply resting her chin on her shoulder. "I can't let him leave Duffy, I can't... He would have hated me after realising what he'd left behind here and I couldn't face that." Standing back up she sighed running her hands over her face moving to sit on the bottom step beginning to explain everything to Duffy.

Later that evening Connie wandered to the car placing in all of hers and Grace's things. Stepping back up towards the house, Charlie had come outside. "Are you sure about this?" Connie looked down at the keys she tapped against her hand before nodding. "I have to do this... I know it doesn't seem like I want to but it's what I need to do." Charlie nodded with a small smile as she looked to Grace behind him. "I'll be back in a few weeks visiting Sam, but I'll speak to you soon." "Okay, as long as you make sure you do." "It's a promise."

Charlie smiled enveloping her into a warm hug as she returned it. "I'll speak to you soon Charlie. Thank you so much for Christmas, it wouldn't have been the same without you both." "Drive safely Connie." She smiled taking Grace's hand after she'd hugged Charlie herself before she got her into the car. Pulling away from his house, she glanced sideways to her daughter. "Mummy will we see Jacob again soon?" Connie placed a hand to her leg with a small saddened smile. "I'm sure we will baby."

Grace was quickly asleep as Connie stopped beside another house. Looking up at it she inhaled deeply before getting out of the car and rushing up the steps. Pushing in the pin to enter the flats, she walked up to his door looking down at the letter in her hands. With one final breath she pushed it through the letter box before returning to the car. Turning the engine on once again, she began the drive away from Holby headed for London. Soon enough she'd be back at the hospital, with more to sort out than she'd had in months. This was for the best, if she kept telling herself that than maybe soon she'd begin to believe it.