Ashes to Ashes.

Let the games begin...

so guys I thought, I'd be nice and give you a first glance at Emer, cause I'm cool like that.. I've decided on Jessy Schram. I also decided on a new  character to be added into the next chapter, possible love interest alert cause I know how you guys love stuff like that.. also give me your opinions on the whole confession video... Who do you guy think killed Emer, and what is up with Principal Mayer... ? Stay tuned... <3

EMILY.

What does one wear to the memorial of your dead best friend? A Burka? Suspenders? An I ♥ Emer t-shirt?  Certainly not my ratty jeans and battered converse. I guess I could dress up? Maybe do my hair and add a little make-up?  I coulnd't believe this! 

This time last year I would have had the perfect outfit, my hair planned in advance with shoes narrowed down to three possible winners. When had everything gotten this hard? 

I dragged myself to the shower undressing and letting the water pour over me.

I watched the water as it pooled down into the gutter. I watched the dirt and the grime and the grease roll down the drain. Only I didn't see those, I just felt them as they were stripped from me layer by layer.

It felt calming, and over whelming all at once, but there was a small voice inside my head, the vulnerable part of me that said I needed this. I needed all that dirt and the grime to cover up my mistakes. I needed all of that to hide my shame

. It had been a while since I had thought about what I had done, I couldn't start thinking about it now but there sometimes when the guilt was just unavoidable, inevitable. It ate at me from the inside until it consumed every little thing I did. It dictated who I was and who I was set become, one little mistake and everything changed.

I shut that voice down as quick as it came, Today was for Emer, I had to look forward, I had to be the person she thought I was. I couldn't let this weigh me down, at least not for today.

I shut off the water and wrapped a towel around my waist. 

I walked to my room and did something I hadn't done in nine months. I looked into my before wardrobe as I liked to call it. I pulled open  the door and glanced at each of the dresses. I hadn't realised that I had bought so many. I guess all that retail therapy would do that to you, but it only worked for so long.

I selected a silver satin dress. It was strapless and clung to my chest and waist and the skirt was short, almost to my knees at the front but at the back it dropped to my mid calve. I loved the way it shimmered and seemed to flow as smooth as water every time I moved, in my head I could hear Emer's satisfaction.

Dressed, I sat before my mirror and pulled out my make-up. I hadn't used it in a while. My foundation was curdled  and my blusher was crumbled into small chunks but I didn't care. I never used those anyway.

I settled for bronzer, just giving my cheeks a subtle glow, before sweeping on eyeliner , mascara and a pale pink lipstick.

I dried my hair quickly, realising I should really have done it first. I curled out the ends giving my hair some waves, like we all used to do .It was Emer's signature look.

I slipped my feet into silver strappy heels and added the tiny heart shaped necklace Emer had gotten me for my thirteenth birthday. Wolah! a once depressed goth becomes a some what decent looking girl.

"i'm not OK with this Keith. You know what Emer's death did to Emily. I just don't want this memorial to push her even further over the edge!" My mother yelled.

I rolled my eyes. This was their usual argument who knew what was best for me, who could do the most impressive concerned parent tone.

I stood at the foot of the stairs. If they didn't move in the next ten seconds I was taking the car and driving myself.