Glitter Is Not Gold

Three // Hospital

My eyes darted open, and before I could say anything, my mom shrieked and exclaimed, "guys! she's awake!"

A sudden throbbing went through my ears.Ouch, my eardrums. I'd like to apologize for what my mom just did. Where am I? I looked around and saw an IV attached to my arm. Ah man, not here.

I looked to my mom who is surrounded by people. I tensed, "Why am I here?"

She looks at everyone motioning them to go. "Guys can we have a minute?" She asked. They all nodded and left us.

"You were passed out in the bathroom with blood-like water all in the tub, I thought you were dead, so I rushed you straight to the hospital. Then they finally told me there was just a deep cut on the bottom of your foot. They put Neosporin on your foot and bandaged it with gauze and a bandaid. They said you lost a ton of blood and would need to have a check up on your vitals to see if you're doing fine. You need a MRI, but thankfully, you're okay."

My head was spinning, but I tried to focus while I silently judged her. I'm not okay mom. I tried to kill my self, how can you only see one side of the story?

She muttered, "I um, I just happened to notice there was a razor blade in the tub, and you had all your clothes on, submerged in water, unconscious, so I was wondering, like, were you about to kill yourself?" She was tearing up by now.

I shook my head. She started wailing. "I thought we were over this? Why are you still suicidal? Am I not enough for you?" She wiped her eyes, trying to put on a stern face. Ugh, give her what she wants, just say, "yes, you are enough." But instead, the words just flew out of my mouth, without any thought added into them.

"No! You're not enough! I don't want the only person who loves me to be my mom! That's fucking pathetic! I tried so hard to be perfect for back then, but it's never been enough for you. I decided maybe you would appreciate the free time you would get without me pestering you, so I was going to kill myself. Besides, when we were in the living room with all those people, I felt like I was sick. I felt like I had cancer and was about to die. It felt like way too many people wanted me alive, yet didn't know a thing about me, and that bothers me. Im so sorry mom, I can't do this anymore. I don't want to."

Tears poured from her eyes, down to her red velvet cheeks. "I'm sorry Ariel. I'm sorry I have never been a good mom to you. I'm sorry I haven't been able to make cookies with you like family usually does, I'm sorry I don't take you places, and I'm sorry that you feel that way. But you know what I'm not sorry about?" I shook my head sideways.

"Loving you. I'm not sorry for loving you. Even if you don't love me, I'm not one bit sorry for loving you, and I will never give up on you."

I can't do all this sappy crap. I have to get out of here as soon as possible. Maybe tonight when my mom is gone and they leave me alone to sleep, I can try to escape. Yeah. That's the plan. I can't fall asleep though, if I do, I can't leave. I glance up to the clock hanging on the wall. Damn, this might take a while. It's only 4:30.

Just then, a look of sorrow swept through my moms face. "Hey sweetheart, I have to go now, sorry, but your father needs me at home or he said things won't end well for me. I love you, I'll be back tomorrow. Bye."

I almost said exactly what I was thinking; Yes! Yay! She's leaving! Okay, now all I have to do is wait for the best time to escape. Maybe at nightfall. I looked out the window and saw the sun was shining as bright as can be. Fuck it, I'm just gonna go. I said, "bye, see you tommorow." She smiled then closed the door.

I rip my bandages off and the IV that was attached to my hand. I skimmed over the items in the mini closet and found a black hoodie shoved in the back. Phew, that smells like shit! I gagged. I took some hand sanitizer and rubbed it all over the polyester hoodie. It still reeked. Well, so much for that idea. I wasn't wearing any pants, so I had to improvise and use a towel that my mom left in the room. I had no idea why it was there, but atleast I wasn't pants-less.

I closed up my nose and breathed through my mouth instead to ignore the smell. I felt really bad and guilty for anyone around me who smelled it though.

I walked out of the room, but before I could get anywhere, a nurse that I had never seen before stopped me and said, "how's she doing?" I could tell by the expression on her face, that she didn't like what she was smelling. "She's great, she is sleeping, we don't need anyone to check on her for now." In my mind I was saying, good job Ariel, that wasn't even played out in your head. You didn't panic or anything, go you.

At first I thought I was in the clear, that was until she started speaking. "Yes Okay, but I must check on her." And then the panic came. I blurted out the first thing that could come to my mind. "Someone in room 403 has a heart rate of 23. You might want to go there as soon as possible. Nobody is with him, but I saw it on his patient monitor!" She went back and forth with me for about 2 minutes, complaining that someone else does the job for that, and how she needs to see the patient, or she could get fired. My first instinct was to punch her so hard that she would fall to the ground, but I figured they'd be onto me if they saw me punch a nurse, so I refrained from any action similar to that.

I just ran. I know, it's stupid. I panicked. I mean quite frankly, I usually am a brave, courageous little bitch, but I couldn't handle it. I was scared. I absolutely hate to say that word. Scared. Scared, scared, scared, scared, scared. It's so typical of everyone. Everyone throws around the word like some helpless creature. My motto was, be a warrior, not a mouse. But I know that I sure as hell, was no warrior today, I was a mouse running through the halls, past all the workers, who looked at me like I was crazy.

The only thing keeping me from my spirt animal; the mouse, was everyone noticing me being super loud. Unlike mice, who do so much just as whimpering, I basically sounded like an ape running through the halls.

As I reached the elevator, where I was completely positive that I was just 5 steps away from getting out of the building, there was a young looking man in the elevator. He looked quite familiar. I stepped in and when the elevator doors closed, he looked at me with a grin and said "hi, this ought to hurt a tiny bit, sorry." I gave him a puzzled look, as a sharp, stinging pain sprung from my right arm.

Before I could look over and ask him what that was or who he was, my lips felt numb, my feet began to lose balance, and I collapsed onto the bare, cold floor.

Hehe. Sorry for the cliffhanger, actually I'm not, but get ready for chapter four.

*shakes head while winking violently*

"dude, what are you doing?"

Screams at 1,000 decibels, "I'm winking, get off mah lawn!"

Sorry for that disturbance, bye now. 👋🏻