Thousand Dollar Friend

Chapter 8 - Moving Forward

I step into Lexi's classroom. It's mostly quiet, as only some of the students have gotten there. I notice Lexi's "Gay Agenda" day planner and pink pencil case sitting at the desk nearest to the door. She must have stepped out to use the bathroom or something.

I pull out the note that I had written last night, and set it on top of her planner.

"Tara?"

I turn around. Lexi stands at the door, seeing me touch her stuff. She wears a petal pink lacy dress with a stud bracelet and a black jacket with silver studs. I can catch a whiff of her familiar cherry petal perfume.

"What are you doing?" she asks.

"Delivering a note." I hold it up.

Her eyes soften, and I know she believes me. For a moment, I feel snapped back to who I was as a sophomore, fresh-faced and in love, enveloped in her arms and the scent of cherry blossoms, looking into her warm brown eyes and feeling like they encapsulated the entire world.

But it's only a moment. I'm a junior, and she's a senior. She has a girlfriend, and I had been broken and then spent a year putting the pieces of myself back together. We're both different, and it's time to let her go.

"What's the note about?" she asks softly.

I draw in a deep breath. "I... I'm just sorry about how I disappeared on you. I went through something really confusing and painful. I wasn't thinking. And I abandoned you. I never meant to. I never wanted to hurt you."

Lexi shifts on her feet.

"What that was like for you... I have no idea," I continue. "You were so important to me. I know you felt the same. And I ghosted on you. That was terrible."

Lexi's mouth wavers. Her nose reddens, and her eyes glisten like she might be about to cry. "I..." She takes a deep breath, steadies herself. "I understand. Your mom was so amazing. Everyone was really shocked about it... I was hurting, but you were too."

She steps forward and places a hand on my shoulder. "I know you didn't mean to leave me like that. I forgive you. We can be friends now."

I smile breaks over my face. "I'm so glad. Thank you."

"I hope you can find someone who's right for you," Lexi tells me. Then she blushes. "I... I'm really happy with Beverly."

Oh boy. Beverly, the girl who called Aurora the r-word and and made fun of her. The girl who belittled me in front of my ex to try to bait me into fighting back. Beverly is definitely NOT the type of girl I can imagine Lexi being happy with.

But Aunt Yumi said not to mention Beverly's bullying. And if I bring it up now, I might look like a biased ex who wants to stop her from moving on.

So I take the high road. "Well, I want you to be happy," I say. "I mean it. I really do. Good luck to you and Beverly." And I am not proud of my secret, unspoken opinion: that Lexi will probably need a lot of luck.

"Thank you, Tara," says Lexi. "Are you... okay? Seeing us together?"

I take a deep breath. It's nice she cares. Be kind, Tara. "Honestly, it kind of blindsided me. But that's my problem, not yours. I knew this could happen, and I've mostly gotten over it." I grin. "I mean, don't rub it in my face, but don't feel like you have to hide it."

Lexi grins too. "Sounds like a deal."

"So... don't worry about me," I say. "It's all good. And I may have my eye on a cute boy." I mean, until I know whether Adam is taken, I'm not ruling things out.

Lexi's eyes light up. "Ooh, good for you!" Her voice is in that singsong that friends use when they find out a friend has a crush. Then she turns more serious. "I hope you can find what makes you happy."