Love is Blind

Chapter 6: Going Away

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that I was the one who ruined everything. I mean, I always ruin everything.

You never do anything right, Dan

I sat silently on the couch as Jamie tried to talk to Phil, but I could tell by the hushed murmurs, this thing, whatever it was, was over. Jamie and my relationship was over before it even began, and it was all because I couldn't make a damn conversation with a blind boy without offending him. Now that I think about it, Phil looked a lot like Jamie. Jamie was very beautiful, but I couldn't help thinking about Phil's soft looking hair, and how his eyes were probably just as blue as his sister's, under all the foggy clouds. Finally, after what seemed like hours, Jamie emerged from Phil's bedroom, closing the door quietly behind her. She looked at me sadly, when she sat down beside me. I prepared myself for the verdict, as she scratched the back of her head uncomfortably.

"So, he's not mad. He really isn't. I think he's just tired,"

Or disappointed.

she didn't say that, but it was there, nonetheless. She looked down at the ground and shuffled her feet awkwardly. I knew I should've filled the silence with an apology or, maybe, a declaration of love, but no words were coming out of my mouth. Tears were coming to my eyes, and there was nothing I could do to stop them.

Dan, you're embarrassing us. Why are you such a failure?

She must have noticed because she quickly got up and put a dainty hand on both sides of my face.

"Look, we can get through this," she hurriedly said.

I didn't disagree, but I didn't agree either. I nudged her hands from my face, and got up slowly. So, I was level with her. Her eyes questioned me as I trudged over to the door.

"Um, so, tell Phil I'm up for hanging sometime if he wants, and sorry I disappointed you." I turned away from her and opened the door. I hoped that, maybe, my life was like a movie, and she would come running after me. But, my life isn't a movie, and she didn't come running after me, even after I shut the door behind me, I walked down the sidewalk, and I'm sure that if anyone saw me, they'd think my mum died. Then the universe had to give me a giant "fuck you," and rain down on my horrible day. Once in my apartment, I slumped down on my bed as my thoughts refused to mute and looked at the wooden frame hanging on my wall, which of course was a horrible idea. A young family smiled back at me from the confines of the wooden frame and made my stomach churn. That family wasn't perfect, it still had its demons, but it was perfect to me. That family made me the person I am today, and I wouldn't want my future children to have anything less. At the same time though, my relationship with Jamie relied on Phil, and he wouldn't even answer her directly on whether he liked me or not. I closed my eyes, and shortly after, I fell asleep.

I woke up later that night at about eight and widened my eyes at the darkness around me. I then frantically searched for my phone because Jamie could've called, and Jamie did contact me. The text was sent at about 5:30, but since my sleep ridden self had not been able to read it, it glowed in the dark with the promise of communication. I unlocked my phone and read the message.

Jamie: my friend needs me to stay with her tomorrow. Would it be ok if Phil stayed with you?

I decided in a matter of seconds.

Dan: yeah, what time u bringing him?

Her reply was instantaneous.

Jamie: 12. Thx owe you a bunch :)

Twelve wasn't too early, but I'd have to make sure I set an alarm because there was no way I'd be able to wake up on my own. I started lazily picking up the clothing flung all over the room, and then I started thinking. If you know me, then you know that's a bad thing. What if she meant twelve, as in twelve tonight? Oh god.