I twirl around in my chair as I stare at his face. Should I talk to him? I mean he did say whenever I was ready. But I will never be ready to hear his voice again. I look down as I play with my hands. When I look up I see him looking at me.
He has a pen between his teeth. I grip onto the table wishing I was that pen. My legs begin to shake as I felt an unbearable feeling by just looking at him. I look at the pen on my desk and poke it slightly. I grab it in my hands and lick it slightly imagining its one of Graysons fingers. I close my eyes as my tongue passes down the cold metal material. I enjoy how it feels in my mind, still deeply knowing this isn't and never will be one of his gorgeous and delicious fingers.
I open my eyes placing the pen back on the desk. I look over my shoulder back at Grayson only to see him smirking. I curse under my breath. He's gonna think I'm a psycho who gets turned on by pens. I decide to just rest my head on the desk as the teacher goes on and on about some shit he taught last semester. I look to my side getting the most perfect view of his jawline. He smiles making me smile.
How I wish I could be the source of all his happiness. He definitely is mine. Yet he's also what makes me sad and unsure of myself. I guess that's love, in all it's shity glory. I even try not to blink so I don't miss out on anything he does. I want to remember every single detail about him.
I see his head tilt over to my direction until his eyes lock with mine. This time I don't look away and neither does he. We stare at each other for what felt like an eternity. Or at least till the end of the class. How I wish I could look at him forever. I swear I'd never look away.
I slowly lift my head up and start packing my things. I turn to look at him one last time but he already left. I frown and walk outside. As I walk out of the university I see him talking to some friends. He looks at me and smiles. I smile back and make my way home.
One I'm home I go and lay in bed. I have an urge to touch myself but I don't because the only person who could actually cause me pleasure is him. Only his hands are allowed to touch me in such private ways. Only his lips are able to touch mine. Only he can fuck me till I'm num.
Only he can touch me and grind on me with his perfect body. His lips on my neck and on my nipples. Slowly sucking. Teasing me. He's allowed to do what he pleases. He makes the rules. I just follow them.
One day I'll lick all over his body and touch every inch of his skin. I'll remember how he feels and every time I touch my fingertips I'll remember where I touched him, after that I'll suck my fingers hoping to be able to feel him in my mouth.
His germs will hopefully be my germs.
Second chap. vote.
xoxo❤
