LONELINESS WAS something that i had grown used too before you had arrived. even before you came, i was the one who would stop arriving to the family dinners that i used to fear. my family would constantly stare at me from across the wooden table that seemed to carry on forever. their posture was stiff as the stared at me with disgusting, openly staring at the fat that was on my arms and the chubbiness of my cheeks. one of the first nights that you came was the night that i finally decided to miss dinner.
you took advantage of my vulnerability - making it seem as though i was going to make every single situation of my life just a bit better if i listened to you. you said it would be easy. i wish i had known that your version of easy was leading me to my death. it was slow and painful, just like you enjoyed to watch. first my curls fell off of my head, falling almost in rhythm with the cold salt water falling from my emerald green eyes that had lost their shine long ago. then it was the color of my skin. it's one healthy dark glow had turned pail, dead skin beginning to appear across my body. i felt as though if i stuck with you i would just turn into bones. too bad i stuck with you until that thought came true.
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