Past Passages

Journal 5

     Of course, I have to 'runaway' from that foster home, what with gramps dead. Before I leave though, I write a letter to the old woman explaining why I have to leave, claiming 'emotional problems' and call an old friend of mine from the academy who I still keep in touch with, Suzanne, and together we move his body ro the base of the stairs. We decide to make it look like a bad fall.Thankfully, he's already got a bunch of bruises from the struggle earlier. Even a bad cut not the back of his head. We knock it a little more so the blood can pool at the bottom of the stair. Suzanne thinks it'll look more convincing.

     As Suzanne and I leave the house, she asks, "So what's up with you and Josiah? He came back to the Academy smiling like an idiot some days ago, but tonight he walked in banging all the doors and punching his fist through the walls. Literally. He punched in five holes before George and Fenly sedated him."

     I shrug. "That had nothing to do with me."

     "Really?" she says disbelieving, "'Cause Fenly said that the other day when he got back that Josiah smelled, specifically, like you and sex. Which reminds me, how does Fenly know how you and sex smell like combined?"

     "How should I know?" I scoff, "Maybe 'cause he's a creep who likes to smell people?" But I do know. Fenly is Josiah's best friend. So when I knew I couldn't have Josiah I went for the next best thing. Suzanne doesn't need to know that though. That's a secret Fenly and I hold with a vise grip .

     "Look, I don't know what happened between you and Josiah, and if you really did have sex like Fenly thinks then I don't want to know, but you of all people should know how dangerous Josiah is when he's angry. So don't go fucking with his heart."

     I stop walking and just stare at her incredulously. "You're getting mad at me for fucking with his feelings? What about when he got me suspended?! Did that not count for anything?! He fucked with my life and that's just supposed to be okay?! What about my feelings then!?"

    "Okay, yeah, that was wrong and none of us really know the reason for that, but you gotta trust that he wouldn't have done it if he wasn't trying to help you in some way."

     "What!?" I'm shouting now. "How did that help me!? He literally just ruined my life! And do you think any institute will take me now with a red mark on my record!?"

     "Maybe not the elite ones but yeah, some." She shrugs. "Look all I know is, Josiah loves you. That was plain as day from the moment you two met. He's a good guy, Selene. For whatever reason he did this, just keep in mind that the ends have to justify the means or else he wouldn't have even thought of doing it."

     And with that she disappeared. Dawn was on its way and so was the academy curfew. Back when I was still at the academy I hated that curfew. Now, so far away from it, I miss it with a burning passion.

~~~

     Two days later I'm on the doorstep of my new foster home and I have to give my caseworker props. If nothing else, she works pretty fast. I just wish the homes she put me in were half decent. Standing on the doorstep, looking at my new 'parents', I know exactly what the problem with this home is.

     They're a young couple, maybe mid-twenties the most. The man, David, is wearing a nicely pressed gray suit and expensive looking, shiny black loafers, as we caught him right as he was going to work. His black hair is combed to perfection and he has an easygoing smile that makes his eyes twinkle.

     The woman, however, Amy, is wearing a long-sleeve sweater and sweatpants. You wouldn't really think any thing of it at first glance but it's eighty-six degrees out today. And her curly brown hair looked unhealthy, dead and thin at the ends. Her smile may look pleasant to the caseworker next to me but I can tell it's forced by the tension in her cheeks. Looking back at her arms, I see her attempt to pull her sleeves down but they just ride up again. Her wrists are covered in bruises. Some old and yellowish, others new and just turning purple.

     "Selene, would you like to come inside?" says the man, his tone very pleasant, when they finish talking to my caseworker. "I'll grab your bags for you."

     I smile. "Thank you. Just give me a moment to say goodbye and I'll be right in." Asshole.

     The couple smile back and the man picks up my bags to carry inside as the woman follows.

     I turn to Josiah and my caseworker and say bluntly, "This is an abusive home."

     "What?!" My caseworker guffaws, "No, it is not! I checked this place and interviewed the couple separately. If there was a problem here, I would know."

     "No, Selene is right." Josiah says and I'm surprised he's backing me up since we haven't spoken to each other or seen each other since... the other night. "The woman's hair looked brittle and thin like it was pulled on a few too many times and I could smell the fear on her and hear her heart beating fast in her chest. She's definitely being abused."

     "Okay, one, it's really creepy that you can sense all of that." The caseworker says. Josiah shrugs and smirks. "And two, maybe she just hasn't cared for her hair enough recently and maybe her heart was beating fast because she was just scared to make a bad impression."

     I roll my eyes. "Yeah, and maybe the bruises on her wrists are from a watch."

     "They could be!"

     Both Josiah and I give her bland looks.

     My caseworker throws her arms in the air exasperatedly. "Fine. But nothing I can do about it now. My boss is getting tired of finding homes for you. Unless he hurts you physically, we can't pull you out of this one and my boss says he'll send you to another department somewhere else if they give you back again so play nice, please. For your sake."

     With that my caseworker gets in her car and leaves, leaving just me and Josiah outside. He looks at me and I can see desperation and longing in his eyes. Without a word, I turn away and head towards the door.

     "Selene" he calls and I stop but don't turn around. "I'll see you tonight. Open your window." Then he's gone.

     I plaster a smile on my face and go inside.

     David is bent at the waist, whispering something in Amy's ear when I walk in. He quickly straightens and grabs his suitcase beside him when he notices me. He gives me his brightest winning smile and says, "Welcome to your new home, Selene. I've put your bags up in your room for you. Now, I've got to get to work, but Amy here would be happy to get you anything you need to get settled. Isn't that right, Amy?"

     Amy nods and gives a less confident smile. "Of course, Selene. Anything you want."

     "Wonderful. I'm off then." David makes his way to the door but pauses just before opening and turns to Amy with an expectant look in his eyes.

     "H- uh, have a nice at work, honey." Amy says quickly and definitely with more than a bit of fear in her voice. But just David nods, satisfied with her reply, and leaves.