Three Times a Day // Saida

feelings.

2/23/16

Tomorrow  is the day we all show JYP our performance. Dahyun and momo ended up getting into another argument tonight. Luckily I didn't hear much.
"You're so selfish, you really are."
"Who are you to say that?! Speak for yourself."
"What are you even talking about Momo?"
"Don't lie to me. You know exactly who."
"I really don't,"
there was a brief pause for a moment.
"Wait, Don't tell me you're talking about-,"
"Sana??? Cause yes. You clearly are in love with her!!!"
"Wha- what nonsense..."
"What nonsense??? Oh, I don't know... maybe the fact that she's all you talk about when we're together!!!"
"Today, Sana this, Sana did that, Sana looked so cute today!!!"
"You know what?"
There's another pause.
"If anything, she treats me better than you ever did!!!"
¨She sees me as a person and not just a toy to be played with!! She cares about how I feel, She actually listens to what I have to say!!¨
she starts to sniffle.
¨..why can't you do the same..¨
All I remember is walking in and seeing Dahyun and Momo in tears on opposite ends of the room. I took out the ear bud out of my right ear and looked at the two of them. Both of them had tears running down their faces. Momo storms out of the room and slams the door shut.
I stand there frozen and turn my head towards Dahyun doing the same. Her legs are trembling as she stands there staring at the floor with tears falling down her shirt.
¨Dahyun-"
¨Don't talk to me.¨
she grabs her phone and a jacket and shoves me out of her way. I watch as she storms out of the room. Still standing there, I look around.
¨So that just happened,¨
I say to myself.
I wonder what could've happened between the two. This happened so suddenly... what would have caused this to happen?? I slowly walk and plop myself on the edge of my bed and look at the clock on the wall. 10:04 p.m.
I fall back and stare at the ceiling. Tomorrow is the big test. Ive been practicing non-stop to finally prove myself of something, to prove to my parents I did make a good choice. I better sleep before my anxiety kicks in.
I wake up to my alarm blasting at 10 a.m. exactly.
¨Good morning dahyu-¨
I stretch and realize she isn't here still. Where would she have gone? She probably stayed with JYP.  She's fine... I dont know why Im worrying so much for.
I get out of bed and go make breakfast. This is the first time Ive had the apartment alone. It definitely is way quieter without her. Usually she would be snoring like a pig or talking about the weirdest things. I kind of miss it if anything.
At 7, I have to go sign in and meet with the girls in the studio. On my way there, I worry about Dahyun and Momo. I hope they dont ruin this for everyone. I especially hope JYP himself doesnt get on Dahyun for it all. She's been trying to build her relationship with him and to watch it all go down the drain would be just devastating.
By the time we start, Dahyun is already messing up. Momo is doing just fine. As I pass by her during the cheoreo, I make sure to get her attention. I give her a smile as she stays frowning. I look at JYP keeping his eyes on Dahyun. I already know whats going to happen if this keeps on staring her down. I dont like seeing her like this. I never want to see her like this ever again.
Without thinking of a better solution, I trip over my feet and twist my ankle.
Everyone stops and looks at me. Dahyun and Tzuyu run up to me and try to help me up. JYP walks over to me.
¨What was that for? Do you think this is a time to be clumsy? ¨
I look at him and say,
¨I'm sorry sir.¨
¨Do you think that you doing this is cute? Do you think that you can do these things and expect it to work??¨
Dahyun gets up and barges in.
¨It was my fault, I made her trip and hurt herself. There is no reason to blame such a thing like this to be the cause.¨
He turns his head over towards her.
¨You're taking responsibility for this?¨
I turn my head over towards her. She turns her head and looks down at me. She turns back to him and confirms responsibility for the incident. He looks at the both of us for a slight second then responds.
¨Fine, Get your foot wrapped as soon as possible, the two of you are in charge of staying in and cleaning the studio spotless. Consider you two lucky. Everyone else from what I know are doing okay, you all can head out.¨
I turn and look and Tzuyu and tell her to go. She nods her head as she heads out with her bag. the rest start to follow. I turn to look at Momo glaring at the two of us on her way out the rolls her eyes.
As soon as the door closes shut Dahyun runs around like a maniac looking for a foot wrap.
¨Ugh, where could it be??¨
She checks every single speck of the room
I try to walk over to her but I end up pulling it more.
¨Ow!!¨
I plop my body onto the floor and hold my ankle. Dahyun runs up to me and kneels down.
¨Dont walk just yet, you need something to give it support.¨
she grabs a scarf and ties it around my ankle.
¨That should help, you should be able to walk without it hurting so much."
Hearing that gives me butterflies in my stomach.
¨Dahyun, you didnt have to do that-¨
¨Sana you didnt have to do that either out of all things. You actually hurt yourself."
¨But, I dont like seeing you like that. I dont like seeing him look at you this way too. He doesnt even know whats going on.¨
She moves closer to me.
¨It's fine.¨
she pauses as she tries to spit out the next thing she's trying to say.
¨Momo and I, we broke up.¨
She turns away and looks onto the floor.
¨She made me realize something,"
she says as she starts fiddling with her hands.
¨I need to surround myself with people like you, but then again, there is only one of you. And Im glad there is.¨
Curious as to why she said that, I question her.
¨What do you mean by that?¨
She looks at me with depth.
¨I'm saying that I'm grateful that someone actually cares about me,¨
she smiles. Hearing her say that makes me feel like there's a fire inside of me, and I don't know why.
¨Of course I care about you Dahyun, there isn't a reason why I shouldn't.¨
The two of us gaze at each other as we sit on the cold floor of the dance studio. I try to speak, but I forgot how in that moment. This is weird...
I try to get up to distract myself and scrunch my face up, trying to hide the pain. I start to walk over to the closet and grab the broom to start sweeping the floor. Dahyun gets up and takes the broom away from me.
"What was that for?"
I start to get irritated.
"I'm not letting you do this, you're limping."
she grabs a chair out of the closet and sets it in the center of the room.
"Please, just let me do this as a thank you for what you just did."
She puts her hand over the chair as her tone of voice changes. Not saying a word, I limp over and sit down with my arms crossed.
She tilts her head down above me. I try not to look, but she keeps on getting closer. By the time she's bent over me, I have no choice but to look.
She's gazing at me with a wholesome smile.
I feel warm looking at it, why do I feel this way?! I can't help but scoff, letting out a slight smile.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
She smiles even wider, making her eyes squint.
As I look at her, she moves in-front of me and sets her hands on my lap.
"Look, I just thought of an idea. It may sound crazy but you gotta trust me,"
"I usually don't do things like that but what ever you say,"
I wink at her as she gags.
She squats down to my foot and checks it out once more.
"You shouldn't have to worry, I tied it up pretty tight."
She looks up at me, then picks me up in her arms.
"Hey what are-,"
"You'll see!!"
She runs out of the room and up the stairs.
For how small she is, she sure is strong. I don't know where the hell she's taking me, but all I know is that it's somewhere she sure seems passionate about. I look up at her and her smile again and my heart starts racing like an engine. Once she reaches to the top of the flights and flights of stairs, she sets me down.
"Cover your eyes."
"Why?"
"Just trust me."
I follow her orders and bury my face in my hands as she guides me holding onto my shirt.
"Open,"
She says softly, almost a whisper.
I take away my hands from my face and freeze.
My eyes light up like a Christmas tree. Dahyun stands right beside me as we both look at the view of the city.
"We shouldn't be up here, but when I saw your face in pain..."
She turns and looks at me.
"I needed to make that pretty smile of yours reappear."
We're on the rooftop of the JYPE building right in the center of Seoul.
The roof is like an outdoor garden, with lights hanging across the trees. I slowly turn around and look at the view.
I turn my head towards Dahyun. She stands there gazing at me with that smile.. that stupid smile.
She's probably just flirting with you,
I think to myself in my head. The thought of it makes me smirk.
So that's how she wants to play, huh..
"Did you bring me up here for anything other than that?"
I cross my arms as I face in front of her.
She squints her eyes and scoffs at me.
"Pfft, as if... why would it matter if I did or didn't?"
She starts to fiddle with her hands as she says that. I know damn well what she's doing, and she's not gonna get away with it that easily.
I walk up to her as I make eye contact with her the entire time.
"Miss Kim Dahyun, are you flirting with me?"
She walks up closer and crosses her arms.
"Wha- speak for yourself, I see your eyes gazing at me!!"
She's good... but not as good as me.
I take a step forward as she does the same.
We're now probably inches away from each other.. I can tell since I have to look down at her.
We both stand there with our arms crossed.
Dahyun  still with the same stupid smile, locks eyes with me. Looking into her eyes makes me feel this type of way. I don't know what is is.. but I like it. What ever it is.
"What are you going to about it?"
I finally respond back quietly. She looks at me up and down, which makes my heart start to race.
"What are you going to do about it?"
She whispers back.
She looks up at me as I slowly move my head towards her. The closer I get the faster my heart beats. I move my hand and caress her cheek as I lose myself.
"I guess I'll do this,"
I say ever so quietly.
Next thing you know, my lips are touching hers. As I do, I feel fireworks inside and just a whole orchestra playing in the background as it happens.
This feels... good.
Her lips are soft and taste like candy, as expected from her. I kiss her some more until we both move away to gasp for air.
After catching our breath, we look at each other and start laughing.
"That happened,"
she says as she smiles at me even wider.. if that's even possible.
"Yeah, I guess it did."