Seasons of Love || Richard Camacho

26

May 6th

I wake up with arms around my waist. This is completely against my "no cuddling" rule and this person is about to find out what happens when someone breaks my rules. Slowly I turn around in the arms of this strong person and I am about to scream in his face when I see Richard opening his eyes. 'Buenos dias hermosa.' And I smile, remembering how we went back to my flat and he said he was going to find himself a hotel. I said he was crazy and I told him that he could stay at mine. And then he asked in the most subtle way if he could join me in my bed. I said yes and it's been years since I've slept this good while sober. 'Good morning guapo.' He grins while his fingers caress my back. 'So.' 'So?' 'You think I'm cute and sweet?' Oh we're gonna talk about what he heard me saying to Katarina yesterday. I feel my cheeks burn. 'Yes I do.' 'And handsome.' 'You already knew that.' 'But it was nice to hear it again.' 'You're stupid.' 'And you are beautiful.' Most men call me "hot" or "sexy", so this is nice to hear. 'And funny and I think you are a very loyal friend.' I chuckle at his last remark. 'Not sure about that last one.' 'Well, I do think you are loyal.' I hide my face against his chest. He wraps his arms a little tighter around my body and I can't believe how right this feels. I make a content sound. 'You okay?' 'Cuddling is awesome.' I feel him laughing and he pushes me away a tiny bit so he can press his lips against my forehead. Happy he didn't try to kiss me on the lips, I nuzzle my face back against his chest.

'And I said what about breakfast at Tiffany's.' His singing voice is amazing, but this song is a big nope. I throw a piece of toast at Richard. 'Don't you dare, Rick.' He laughs. 'We are performing in London next week.' I take a sip of my orange juice and I make an enthusiastic sound. 'Already arranged that you and the girls can tag along.' 'Yas boy!' I give him a high-five. 'The boys and I need to be there tonight.' There's a pang in my chest. 'Oh sure. That's cool. London's great.' 'Your flight is in four days, we can facetime.' I nod. 'Cheer up, we have six hours left before I have to leave.' He gets up from his chair and hugs me from behind. 'Don't act like you are going to miss me. You had the chance to spend time with me in Barcelona and you left me.' 'I was scared.' And fuck me, I still am. 'Of me?' I shake my head and I can feel my cheeks burning again. I don't like that he can do this to me. Ugh. 'Of my feelings for you.' I said it out loud. Holy shit I said it out loud. Oh fuck, oh fuck. 'I'm not sure what I'm feeling. But I do feel something and it's scary. It's so scary Richard.' He pulls my chair back and makes me look at him. 'You shouldn't be scared of feelings.' 'But I- I am not used to feeling things. I always sleep or drink my feelings away.' 'So that's why you went home with strangers and got drunk so often?' I nod. That's what I just said. 'What feeling were you numbing before you knew me?' I freeze and I shake my head, tears fill my eyes. 'Okay sorry. Calm down.' He hugs me. Why am I acting like I'm fragile and broken? This is so not me. 'Just tell me when you're ready.' I nod again. After taking a sip from my glass of juice, I get up and walk towards my bedroom. 'You wanna get ice cream?' He makes an enthusiastic sound and I can smile again.

RICHARD POV

Sometimes I find it very hard to think of something I can say to her. One moments she's super cool and carefree and a few moments later she's sad, scared and her past seems to haunt her. For over a month, the boys have been telling me that I am going way too fast with my feelings for Tiffany. And I can't say that they're wrong. I never was the one of the group who would talk or think about falling in love. And then she bumped her way into our lives and she changed mine in a strange way. I don't know if I can call this love, I just want her to be safe and happy and well. 'What are you thinking about? Something wrong?' Her happy face appears in front of me. I shake my head. 'Nothing wrong, hermosa. I was just thinking about how amazing this tastes.' 'I know right, Italian ice cream is my favorite.' I put my arm around her shoulder and she moves a bit closer. 'What if we get papped?' A worried look on her face makes me laugh a bit. 'Let them. I don't care. Do you?' She shakes her head, but I am not really convinced. 'What if they think that I'm your girlfriend?' 'I won't mind.' Her cheeks turn red for the umpteenth time. 'I'm not your girlfriend though.' I don't tell her, but the words "not yet" keep repeating themselves in my head.