Seasons of Love || Richard Camacho

46

May 21st

Richard wakes me up with soft kisses. Butterflies tickle my stomach and I feel happy. I open my eyes and smile. 'Morning guapo.' 'Hola hermosa.' We talk about yesterday's events and he tells me he understands Christopher. 'I would've felt awful if Yocelyn had kept her pregnancy a secret. Let alone if she would've been my girlfriend.' Well, thank fuck she was a one night stand. I tell him I understand Chris as well. His timing was bad, but he didn't know that his timing was shit. Richard's fingers draw patterns on my back and I sigh. 'Richard, I think I am ready to tell you why I decided to go wild.' His eyes go wide and he nods slowly. 'Okay. You want to get dressed and tell me over a cup of coffee?' I shake my head and I tell him that I'm comfortable like this. He kisses my nose and I clear my throat before I start talking.

'I was 16 when I fell in love with a guy in my class. He liked me as well and we started dating. We were together for a few weeks when we had sex and like all teen girls in love, I thought we would be forever. We weren't. He cheated on me. Several times. He broke my heart and I was a mess. Then came Tim. Tim was the boy mothers talked about, saying he would be the ideal son-in-law. And that was exactly what he seemed to be. I was happy, oh Richard I was so happy. Three days before my seventeenth birthday, my father told my mother that he had cheated on her. He had been cheating on her for a few years. She kicked him out and she made a new friend. Whiskey. After a few weeks she started to throw empty bottles at me. And she started beating me up. Tim was amazing and he tried protecting me without hurting my mother. One morning I came downstairs and there was a note. My mother had packed her bags and had moved to fucking Thailand.'

'Seriously? Out of nowhere?' I nod and Richard shakes his head. 'So I was left alone and luckily Kat's parents were super cool and they let me move in with them. A month later I caught Tim making out with one of my friends. Apparently, my reaction was not right and I lost a lot of friends. Only Katarina stayed. Losing almost all my friends and having another cheating man ruin my life was too much. Kat made me go clubbing with her and I got drunk for the first time. Oh, I loved the feeling. All of a sudden I understood my mother. And I started getting drunk every weekend. Eventually I replaced the water in my water bottle with vodka and I started drinking at school. I was great at staying under the radar.' I sit up and reach for the water bottle on my nightstand. I take a sip and my throat is happy. Richard chuckles when I promise him that there's water in the bottle.

'Two months before my eighteenth birthday, one of my teachers quit his job. The replacement was a very handsome man. He was 27 and super happy with his new job. There was this one day on which I brought a small bottle of tequila with me. I can't remember why. But I was way too drunk and I made sure to be the last one to leave the classroom. And I kissed him. I kissed my teacher. He was shocked at first, but a week later he fucked me on his desk. I was the one in charge. I only had to tell one person and his life would be ruined. And I was enjoying that power so much. He had to touch me where I wanted to be touched, he had to fuck me whenever and wherever I wanted to be fucked. That may have been the start of my nympho traits.' I chuckle. Richard doesn't think it's funny. Well, I never hear him complaining between the sheets.

'He always talked about a relationship. He would be my boyfriend after my eighteenth birthday. But I always said that he had to forget about that. I had no trust in boys or men. So I promised myself to never do feelings anymore. A week after my last exam, we got caught. It was a matter of minutes before the entire school knew. Katarina's parents were disgusted and made me move out. Katarina wasn't allowed to see me anymore. I moved into this flat and had no friends. So one night after graduation, I was sitting on my couch watching Pretty Woman. I was drunk as fuck and decided to change my life and made up all of my rules. The fucking around was so easy. Finding customers wasn't very hard either. Apparently there are loads of men in Amsterdam who want company so badly that they are willing to pay for it. The rest is history.'

'That's crazy, Tiff. I am so sorry for everything that's happened.' I can't read his face. Pain? Guilt? Sadness? Love? 'Thank you so much for telling me this. I just don't know what to say.' I tell him that it's okay and that he doesn't have to say anything. This is the first time ever that I tell someone other than Katarina about what happened, the first time in years that I trust someone again, I trust a man again. Crazy. He kisses my nose and I move closer to let him wrap his arms around me. And I feel safe.