Church Camp Talks (a Joshler fanfic)

.11.

Yay new update! 1314 words, happy reading!

Paramore concert next week 🙌🏻
  
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Tyler entered the cabin and Joshua immediately noticed his tear stained cheeks and puffy teary eyes.

"W-what's wrong?" He asked worriedly as he sat up, hissing at the pain in his leg and hand. "Are you-" Tyler tried asking. "Yeah I'm f-fine", Joshua said. He patted the mattress with his uninjured hand. Tyler bit his lip and sat down on the bed next to Joshua.

Joshua brought both thumbs to Tyler's face and wiped some of Tyler's tears away. Tyler sent him a soft, forced smile.

"W-who made you c-cry w-what did they d-do", Joshua stuttered.

"No one from the camp", Tyler said, wiping a few tears away himself.

"Momma called. I didn't really want to... call her when I was here... so that's why I left", he said.

"W-what did she s-say to make-make you cry", Joshua softly asked. He rested his hand on Tyler's leg.

"She Uhm..." Tyler trailed, breath hitching. "She told me I couldn't come home", he softly said.

Joshua softly sighed. "I'm s-sorry", he whispered. "Yeah", Tyler softly replied, looking down at his knees. He then stood up, not knowing how to handle his emotions around Joshua. He rested his forearms on the side of his bed and rested his forehead on his arms.

"I just really need momma", Tyler sighed. "Or anyone else who actually gives a damn about me and doesn't call me a mistake, really. I just... I need a hug", he sighed. "I need someone to hug me and tell me I'm okay", he whispered, more to himself than Joshua.

"I'm sorry I'm bothering you with-" Tyler said as he turned around, but stopped talking when he saw Joshua sitting on his bed with his arms spread.

"W-what?" Tyler mumbled. Joshua just tilted his head to the right a bit, not moving his arms as he looked at him expectantly.

"Are you... are you sure?" Tyler softly asked. Joshua nodded. "C'mon", he said.

Tyler bit his lip. He walked up to Joshua's bed and crawled on it. He wrapped his arms around Joshua's neck and Joshua wrapped his arms around Tyler's waist. He hugged him tightly, very close, and tears rolled down Tyler's cheeks. 

Joshua heard in Tyler's breathing and soft noises that he was crying, but he didn't mention it. He pressed his mouth and tip of his nose against Tyler's neck and closed his eyes. It wasn't a kiss or anything. It was just a gesture to say "I care".

Joshua moved his hand to Tyler's hair in the nape of his neck and gently moved his fingertips through his hair. Tyler's breath hitched again, as more tears rolled down 'cause Joshua was trying to make him feel safe and Tyler felt so, so safe. He felt cared for and loved and he felt like he was really okay but it confused him so much 'cause was he falling in love with Joshua? How could he fall in love with someone after losing his soulmate? 'Cause he was Tyler's soulmate... right? And on top of that, how could he possibly fall in love with someone who thought gay people were a mistake just a few days ago, because he'd been told they were his entire life?

It only made him cry even more. He was really crying now. Joshua tightened his hug. "Shhh, y-you're okay", he whispered.

"I don't know, bunny", Tyler whispered, voice cracking. "I just miss momma so much and my thoughts are confusing me and I should've just listened to them", he cried. "If I had listened, I wouldn't even be here in the first place", he sighed.

"I w-would've missed-missed you", Joshua softly said. "You wouldn't even know I existed", Tyler mumbled. "But I-I'm glad I d-do", Joshua replied.

That only made Tyler feel even more and he buried his face in the crook of Joshua's neck.

They didn't speak for quite a long time. Eventually, Tyler spoke up.

"Thank you", he whispered, voice weak. "W-what for?" Joshua asked. "For offering to hug me. You didn't have don't to, I didn't want to make you feel like you had to, I'm sorry I shouldn't've-" Tyler rambled.

"I w-wanted to-to", Joshua replied softly. Tyler stopped talking.

"...really?" He mumbled. "Really", Joshua replied.

Tyler tightened his hug and silence overtook them again.

Eventually they pulled back. Tyler sent him a soft smile and Joshua scooted over so Tyler could lay down as well.

He looked at Joshua's face when he lay down, causing Joshua to blush and look down between them.

(Please don't make the TIMH reference thanks)
"You have a nice face, yknow", Tyler said. Joshua's face flushed even more red.

"S-stop", he whispered. "Okay", Tyler replied. Joshua looked up into Tyler's eyes, and they just stared at each other for a while, before Joshua looked away.

"So", Tyler started. "You've been very interested in me", he said. "Yknow, my views and all. Tell me about yours", he added.

"What d'you w-wanna know?" Joshua asked.

"Well... okay promise me not to get mad at me? I mean no disrespect but I'm probably gonna sound quite rude but I don't mean to be. I'm just genuinely curious", Tyler said. Joshua hummed and nodded. It wasn't enough for Tyler though, so he held up his pinky. Joshua giggled as he hooked his pinky around Tyler's.

Their hands fell back on the mattress in between them, pinkies still intertwined.

"So, uhm, you say God guides you, right? That he takes care of you and loves you and stuff like that", Tyler started. Joshua hummed. "But, like, how d'you let the dude know what's going on?" Tyler asked. Joshua gave him a look. "I mean, I mean 'him'. Not 'the dude'", Tyler said. Joshua couldn't help but softly smile as he rolled his eyes.

"I t-talk to H-Him", Joshua replied.

"But... what d'you expect?" Tyler asked. "Like... d'you expect him to like, call you some day, being like "yo Joshua I love you"?" Tyler asked. Joshua shook his head. "Are you expecting him to show up on your doorstep knocking on your door some day?" Tyler asked. Again, Joshua shook his head.

"But... talking to a non-existent guy up in the sky is basically the same thing as talking to your stuffed animal", Tyler said.

Joshua gave him a warning glare. "I mean, someone I think is non-existent", Tyler corrected himself.

"Y-yeah", Joshua replied. Tyler raised an eyebrow.

"B-basically, yeah. You're r-right. Though, you can s-see your stuffed animal and y-you can hold it, but you can't s-see or hold the Lord in the way you-you do with a s-stuffed animal. So that's o-one point for the s-stuffed an-animal", he explained.

"But, a st-stuffed animal can't h-hear you or see you 'cause i-it's a stuffed a-animal. And God c-can. He listens to me w-when I talk to him", Joshua said.

"How can you be sure that he even exists when you can't hear or see or touch him?" Tyler asked.

"I d-don't", Joshua replied, to Tyler's surprise.

"I don't k-know a 100% sure if h-he exists. But I b-believe that he does. I w-want to believe that h-he does. It makes me feel s-safe to know that I c-can talk to someone i-important to me, no matter w-where I am in t-the wo-world", Joshua replied.

"Well that surely sounds great, having someone who's there to support you 24/7", Tyler hummed.

"T-that's what makes the L-Lord song-great", Joshua replied.

Their pinkies were still intertwined.

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