homeland burning

how to stop being sad

open windows, no matter the season. get warm blankets. clean your room. pull the curtains back. put up fairy lights. write letters of self-love to yourself. store them in a shoebox decorated with shiny wrapping paper that reminds you of last christmas that you spent with your cousins singing and drinking hot chocolate. ah, speaking of drinking. make yourself mint tea. tea. with mint. enough said. chocolate. if you have it, find it. eat it. tell the calorie ghosts to shut the fuck up. tell every single ghost living in your closet or under your bed or in the space within your collarbones to shut the fuck up. there is no more playing around unless they start paying you some rent. read poetry. read anything. write something that you find meaningful. look at yourself in the mirror and think, "i am a piece of goddamn art." if you start to question it, stop. more mint tea. music. lots of it. loud. loud. loud. all the good bands you love. no bob dylan. no angus and julia stone. nothing sad. no more. keep it loud. if your eardrums beg you to stop, tell them to grow up, because everything else in your body has. try on old clothing that reminds you of home and childhood. call your friends. text your friends. revisit good kisses, warm summers, the way the ocean looked when you saw it for the first time. have fruit. it truly does help. look at the sky. it is art. check the freezer for a tub of ice cream. it forces you to reconcile the parts of you that are sweet and the parts of you that are cold. study flowers. write a thank you card to someone. anyone. to your best friend. to ellen degeneres. to the woman who held the door for you at shoprite today even though she really didn't have to and you felt bad making her wait. write it. wash your hair in mint and lilac and lavender and lemon. remove the tattooes that bad feelings have left all over your body. pluck them off of the parts that you hate. don't just trash them, burn them. wash them away in the tub. scrub at yourself with your favorite soap. lie in the warm water, soak. pretend it is the ocean, beneath a bright sun. light candles. now try some coffee, to wake up your soothed heart. kiss your own bruises and scars. clink cups with the reflection in the mirror. tell him or her that they have done beautifully fighting in this war. 

you have already won. 

i love you.