I can't stand it

Chapter 30

**Mikaylla's POV**

"This is a beautiful location" I said smiling

Ryan had picked a beautiful restaurant with an overlook of the city

"Glad I could impress you"

"You always impress me, and apparently you impressed my sister"

"Really?"

"Yeah, she thinks it'll be good for Watson to have a male figure around him since his dad isn't around anymore"

"I like Watson. He's a funny kid"

"I'm glad you get along with my family"

"I like that you get along with my friends"

"Yeah, most of them were great"

"Why don't you like Chris?"

I chuckled "how'd you know it was him?"

"I saw how you acted around him"

"He thinks he's hot stuff and the top dog. I hate men with that attitude. My ex was that way. Men like that seem to forget that they didn't do anything on their own. Like Chris didn't make this band on his own. He had fans, band members, and other supporters. I mean I don't know Chris that well but that's what I think of him"

Ryan shrugged "you have every right to have your thoughts on it"

"I love your band though, and I love watching you preform. I would never create drama for you"

Ryan kissed me "you're amazing you know that"

"You're amazing"

Ryan and I ate dinner then went back to his apartment.

"Don't go back tomorrow." I told him as we laid on his bed

"I wish I didn't have too"

I softly kissed his lips "just one more week. That's it."

"Yeah, but I only have a couple weeks off then I'm going to Europe"

"No," I said fake crying

Ryan kissed my forehead as we quietly laid together

"You could always go with me"

I sat straight up in the bed and looked at him like he had grown another head and transformed into some type of alien. Ok, maybe not that dramatic. I really need to stop watching Rick and Morty but I still looked at him as if he was crazy

"I'm serious. Shelby isn't coming to Europe with us. You could do our merch"

"No offense, but I don't wanna be another girlfriend who does merch. And besides that I have a job here. I can't just leave Josh."

Ryan sighed "I just hate being away from you"

"I know, but I'm not in a position to just up and leave like this."

"I know"

"Why does life have to be so hard?"

Ryan pulled me into his arms and held me close "I don't know. But it sucks"

I sighed and ran my hand lightly up and down Ryan's leg. It sucked that I couldn't travel with him, but I have a job, and responsibilities. I've never been in a relationship where I actually missed him. Where I craved them. Where I needed them. It sucks to watch all these couples together and my boyfriend is miles and miles away. And if I'm being totally honest here I can't stand it. I can't stand that I feel this way