Collision

When The Shit?

1 PM

"Hey, Carrot, can you not stare at me? Take a picture or something." Richie told Max an hour later, when Maryanne left to go grocery shopping. Max rolled her eyes.

"Well excuse me for staring at my boyfriends best friends fucking twin." Richie made a face.

"That confused the fuck outta me so I'm just gonna act like I know what you're talking about." Max burst out laughing.

"I like you." She said.

"Sorry, Carrot, but I'm happily taken." He told her, sitting on Eddie's lap.

"Isn't that supposed to be the other way around?" Stanley asked. The two shrugged and Richie just hugged Eddie's head to his chest.

"Thanks for not cursing in front of my mom, guys." Elizabeth told them. "Because I heard you guys are quite the potty mouths-"

"Trashmouth!" Ben pointed at Richie who flipped him off.

"It's true though." Stanley said. "We all usually curse like sailors, especially Richie, which is why he's Trashmouth."

"This fucker fell asleep." Mike H said, looking at Richie, who was actually asleep, his cheek resting on Eddie's head.

"Oh my God, he's gonna drool on me! Again!" Eddie smacked Richie's leg and he lifted his head up.

"What I miss?" He asked sleepily.

"If you're gonna go to sleep get off me."

"Nah, I'm good." He stood up.

"Do you guys want anything to eat or drink?" Bev asked, rolling her eyes at Richie. They all shrugged. "You guys are so useful, you know that? Let's go to Benny's." She said, standing up.

"I'm all for it." Bill said, standing up with her.

"Whipped." Ben mumbled and Bill glared at him.

"When the shit are Mike and Richie gonna meet, Bev?" Max asked.

"Oh, we've already met." Richie said, throwing an arm around Mike H's shoulder. He shrugged him off and Richie snickered.

"When the shit?" Mike H looked at her weird.

"Is that even something people say?" Stanley asked.

"I say it. Now, I gotta see Mike's reaction."

"Oh come on, I doubt we look that much alike."

"Richie's gonna be running down the street screaming what the fuck you just wait and see." Elizabeth said. Stanley snorted at that.

"Richie does that anyways." Mike H said. "See?" He gestured to Richie running out the door screaming,

"WHAT THE FUCK IS UP BITCHES!"

"What is wrong with him?" Max asked. They sighed in unison.

"Honestly?" Eddie asked. "We don't have a damn clue."

"What the hell Richie!" Stanley called after him. Richie was already sitting in the back of Bill's car, waiting.

"He's such a child." Bev rolled her eyes. "But I missed him. Come on, let's go."

~~~~

"Michael Wheeler, get your ass up!" El yelled from the bathroom. A few seconds later she heard,

"I think the fuck not, Jane Hopper!" He yelled back. She opened the door and and with the flick of her wrist, yanked the blankets off him. "No fair! You used your powers." He pouted, rolling onto is back and looking at her.

"One, don't call me that, two, I will hold you over that cliff, keep messing with me." She glared at him. "And three, like you always tell Nancy, all's fair in love and war." They stared at each other for a few seconds and burst out laughing. She threw herself on the bed and crawled on top of him.

"Well, hello there." He grinned at her. She pecked him on the lips.

"You seriously need to get up though, you've been laying back here, in and out of consciousness  for like three hours. It's after 1 o'clock." 

"I'm just so...so sleepy and lazy." He told her, dragging out the e sound while pretending to fall asleep.

"You are such an idiot, Mike." She rolled her eyes. "We're meeting Bev's Derry friends in an hour, you need to get up and take a shower. You still stink of dirt and grass. And chlorine?" She sniffed his hair and he snorted.

"You don't wanna know." He replied, playing with one of her curls. "I'll take a shower if you join me." He wiggled his eyebrows.

"Oh my God." She giggled. "What's up with you today?" He shrugged.

"I guess I slept good last night." He replied, sitting up and causing her to fall back onto the mattress. She glared at him for a second and proceeded to slap him on the face lightly. 

"You also need to shave."

"And you need to take a shower with me."

"Michael." She glared at him and he laughed and stood up, going to the closet. He heard the bed squeak as she got up. "Anyways," She kissed him on the cheek, "I'm gonna go make us something to eat and I expect you to be in the kitchen in no more than forty-five minutes."

"Yes, mom."

"Michael." He laughed again and went in the bathroom.

Thirty minutes later, Mike was sitting on the counter, shaking his wet hair like a dog. El sighed and looked at him and he grinned at her cutely. There was a knock on the door.

"That's probably Will, Dustin, and Lucas." She told him and he nodded. 

"What about Max?"

"Oh, she's with Bev."

"Okay." He let the three men inside and they immediately made themselves at home in the living room. "Really guys? This isn't my mom's basement."

"Hey that reminds me, you have a basement. Let's go chill there!" Dustin said, getting up and running down the hall. Mike sighed and pointed a finger towards Dustin, telling Will and Lucas to follow him. They did and he went back in the kitchen where El finished making lunch for the two of them.

"I kind of feel bad for not making everyone else anything." She said, taking a bite out of her sandwich. Mike shrugged.

"I'm pretty sure Bev took them to Benny's and you know full well those three down there have been fed already." She giggled and nodded. By the time they finished their food, Dustin was screaming at Lucas over a board game and Will was laughing his ass off at them, so Mike went to calm them down.

"Some things never change, huh?" Mike asked El, who shook her head.

"They'll always be like that."

"Well, I'm gonna go be a dad for a minute or so, so let us know when everyone gets here." She nodded and he hopped down the stairs, literally, and joined in on the game instead.