The Stories of My Apologies

My Apologies

I apologize 

for not what

I’ve done nor 

for what was said 

but for who I was 

when they were done.


I apologize 

for my impatience 


The impatience 

of a broken heart 

held together by hope 

and love 

and slowly torn 

apart by hurt 

and sadness. 


I apologize 

for the the way

I looked at you 

and the way I didn’t.


I apologize

for the tears 

I shed for you 

and the ones I didn’t.


I apologize 

for how much 

I cared for you 

and in return 

you told me you didn’t.


I apologize 

for the thoughts 

I’ve made you think.


And scared you off

I apologize

for the the way 

I made you look at me, 

almost like 

the way one looks 

at oneself 

when they have 

a bad hair day 

or something 

between their teeth 

or a pimple 

that doesn’t seem to go away.


I apologize 

that because of me 

I’m hated 

by the one I once cared for

and the one of whom 

had my heart 

and soul 

and may still do.


I apologize

being me 

when being me 

wasn’t who I was being..

I know you hated

when I apologized 

all the time 

but it’s all I know 

how to do 

because I make mistakes

and sadly 

most of my mistakes 

were towards you.


I apologize for the way 

you feel whether 

you see this or not


I apologize

for there are things

I forgot 

but never the little things 

for they stay

burning inside of me 

wanting out 

but I hold them in 

cause if they come out 

there’s no stopping 

the storm 

that is to come

for my feelings

My feelings

are burning cold 

and icy blue 

for not just the memories 

but the memories of you.