Tainted || liskook

Tainted [12]: ring-around-the-rosy

This chapter is dedicated to my lovely girlie Balyumruk (who has been constantly nagging at my lazy ass to not drop this fucking book even though tainted is quickly becoming the bane of my existence). I've been very unmotivated to write (if you haven't noticed) hence the late updates and the lazy writing. I do appreciate the support and love from all of you, and even though this chapter might not be up to your standards, I hope you do enjoy it.  Also, make sure to give my girlie lots of love —if you enjoy reading fluff, give her book 'blank space' a chance. 

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Lisa steadied her breathing.

The silence was piercing and jarring; it prickled her skin and penetrated her body—gnawing on her insides, threatening to explode from within. The air was thick with anticipation, the courage she mustered before was completely washed over with waves of nausea. The blonde was seated in the middle of Jennie and Rosé—she figured the notion was a form of moral support but it only made her feel constricted instead, almost suffocating... It was difficult to breathe with so many pairs of eyes on her—a mixture of black, hazel, and brown, watching... Observing... Analysing... Just waiting for her to break.

Her gaze wandered past Hoseok's shoulder and to the person who made her feel all sorts of weird and confused and afraid; he was leaning against the wall with folded arms, currently looking out of the window. It seemed like he could feel her piercing stare, because he chose that exact moment to turn to her by chance and for a fleeting second, their eyes meet. She was still shaken but she levelled Jungkook's gaze nonetheless, his brown irises were blank and they were devoid of any emotion. Lisa could feel the bile rising from the back of her throat—she thinks she saw hints of mistrust and betrayal in them.

She swallowed hard and turned her eyes away. Her trembling fingers were firmly clasped together, and she willed them to stop. When it didn't work, she clenched her jaw and dug her nails into her thigh instead, using pain as a factor to distract herself further. She was lost with the concept of time; the blonde was unsure how many seconds and minutes she wasted, but she loved the way her skin felt when they were pulled apart by force—the contrast between the little dent marks on her alabaster skin was almost addictive. If she were to raise the pressure just a little, she knew she'll bleed.

It seemed fitting, thought Lisa, she has always been the one to cause misfortune and despair to everyone around her—maybe it was her turn to go now. With her fingers still clawing into her thigh, the blonde shut her eyes and released a shaky breath. She immediately discounted the nasty thought; as much as it enticed her to avoid their questions and flee from their unwanted scrutiny, she has made a deal with them—Yoongi has completed his end of their bargain. He was gentle and cautious with her friend even though Lisa knew the damage she has done didn't warrant it.

The blonde reopened her lids and licked her lips. Their eyes were still trained on her, but she didn't pay them any attention—it'll only crumble her feeble attempts to keep her sanity intact. She was alone now, she tried to lean on her friends, but look at where that got her; one little lie turned into two, and before she has realised the severity of it—it piled up on top of one another like bills and lawyer letters and eviction notes that have accumulated over the days and weeks of neglect, convoluting into a hot, steaming pile of shit, just weighing heavily on of her fucking shoulders. Lisa was certain everyone here has skeletons in their closets but hers was full; she has been collecting the bones for as long as she could remember, and if she were to run again, the probability of turning back will be close to a zero.