Not Like The Rest » Dylan O'Brien

Chapter 25

I wake up, and immediantly feel the excruciating pain in my stomach. It feels as if there is a knot twisting around, shaking my core. I manage to slip out of bed and stumble to the kitchen for some Pepto. That's when I notice the warm blood running down my leg, pooling out onto the floor.

What is this? I start to panic when I realize what this means, and it hits me like a bullet to the brain. I scream for Dylan and within seconds I hear his footsteps run to me as I crouch on the floor.

"Ry, what is it?"

"I'm b-bleeding," I choke,"our baby's gone. Abbi is gone."

"No, no she can't!" he protests, but it's true, and we both know it. My daughter, whom I wished of naming Abbigale Marie O'Brien, is no longer inside of me.

The tears gather underneath and burst through the surface. Strangled cries and sobs escape from my chest and my ribs shake furiously.

•••••••••

"I'm afraid," the doctor explains sadly,"you've had a miscarriage. These aren't uncommon. I'm so sorry." My vision begins to blur as the tears flood my eyes.

Dylan buries his face in my shoulder and whispers repeatedly, "I'm sorry." I undergo surgery to the remove the fetus from the womb an hour later, and I am left to grieve for the daughter I have always wanted, that I swore to protect.

"Let's go home," Dylan says quietly and slips his hand around my waist as we walk to the car in the dark night. The car ride is silent, what is there to speak about?

"It's my fault," I hear Dylan say as we both sit unmoving in the car.

"It's not your fault. None of us could of helped this from happening."

"I'm the one who got you pregnant."

"Dylan, I promise you, I wanted this. It isn't your fault for getting me pregnant. Stuff like this can happen."

He reaches over to squeeze my hand and I wipe away the new tears.

"Did you propose just because of the baby?" I ask suddenly, but I need to know. Is it me or the baby?

"No, of course not! Riley, of course I love you more than anyone in this world, but the baby was another reason to spend the rest of my life with you. Even if we don't have a baby, I'm still going to marry you and I will love you until the day I die, I swear." I swallow the lump in my throat and lean into him, taking in his scent, his warmth.

"I love you." He kisses the top of my head gently and I ease myself out of the car. It is getting lighter out as I grow darker inside. I would feel more peaceful if it rained like my spirits are now.

Once we step inside, I head back to bed, I don't know what else I'm supposed to do. I bury myself in the silk sheets and drown in my tears.

Dylan O'Brien

I don't quite know what to say. I have never felt this sad and hopeless. I wanted to hold our daughter in my arms, see her deep blue eyes full of wonder and curiousity. But now, her deep eyes would never see the world, her little pink lips would never take a breath. I am no longer a father. Every last speck of hope has been flushed from my heart. Salty tears mix with the black coffee in my hands as I wonder if Riley would ever want to try again. Would she live in fear that our next baby could end up like Abbi?

I have to give her some time to grieve, but I am so anxious to know if she will never want to have a baby again. This isn't the kind of life I want to live, a life of darkness, of sadness. This isn't how I want to spend my time with the woman I love, who I hope to grow old with. I do the only thing that I could think of doing. I pray. I pray for God to bless us, to watch over us. I pray for blessings of a bright future ahead.

The feels!!! I'll update as soon as possible! Please vote and comment what you think! Also, please follow my amazing friend MissBrookieB! She is writing a Mortal Instruments fanfic, it's amazing, so please follow her! Thanks for reading, and don't worry, good things are coming :)

-Liesl