Between the Lines | Oneshot

-5-

[Kit's POV]

Third year in the Faculty of Medicine will begin soon. Pha asked us to come with him when he talks to Yo. A really rare occasion, but I get the feeling that he just needs us to strengthen his alibi of some sort or something, not that we won't come with if he told us, anyway.

"Sawadee P'P'." Yo came and wai-ed at our direction. "P'Pha, what did you want to talk about?"

"Nothing much. I just feel like this year's even busier than the last." Yo looked at him with an evident sad expression in his face. "I probably won't get to see you as much."

"Nothing we can do about it then."

That's just about the part of their conversation that I heard. For some reason, Beam ran away when he saw Forth coming our way. (Forth asked me where we are, and I answered.) I don't know where they are now. I was left alone with my phone to play with.

I hate this game. It's the kind of game that gives you a little one percent to get a good character. But I play it, still, for some reason.

I was getting frustrated in the midst of trying to summon a character and praying to at least get me a super rare character, when a hand began tapping me by my shoulder.

"P'Kit." The person kept tapping, while I kept on my prayers. "P'Kit."

"What?!" I was getting irritated. "Oh. Ming."

"Sawadee, KitKat." He bowed. I did the same, but my eyes were glued on his face.

It's been ... some years, I think, since we last saw each other. And no, I'm not exaggerating. I just deliberately kept my distance, because I know it wouldn't help me get over.

"It's been a long time." He sat down righr beside me.

"Mm." I nodded. For a minute, I hesitated, but proceeded to ask him the basic conversation questions. Play it safe, like it's the first time we talked, all over again. "How are you?"

I kept taking a sip on my juice, because the silence was starting to become awkward. I'm starting to wonder whether the question was way too unsafe to ask.

"I missed you." I coughed up some of my juice, and some I felt go up my nose. My throat felt like it was clawed for a second. "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay."

The silence crashed the party once again. Ming was fidgeting, and I can't think of anything to talk about next.

"P'Kit." He initiated the conversation again. "I really missed you."

"You just said that."

I tried my not to put anything he says out of context, and trying not too over read everything that comes out of his mouth. I don't want to invest feelings on blind hope for a second time ... but my heart's being a real traitor, right now.

"How about Yo?"

"Yo?" He looked at me. "He is my bestfriend."

"How about you?"

"P'Kit." I think he's getting pissed by the way I kept beating around the bush. "I told him about my feelings and I'm over it, and we're okay."

He said something so shocking, so casually. He said it like it's the most normal thing to say. I got a hint of hope, but immediately extinguished it, knowing full well that doesn't exactly mean he likes me, too.

"Ohh ... okay."

"Ai'Kit!" Pha called on me. "We're going first. Are you coming with us?"

"We're not coming with you, P'Pha." I was already about to walk to where they are, and away from here, but Ming interrupted and held me by my hand. "I'm going to take P'Kit home, don't worry."

Just like that, P'Pha left with his boyfriend. Sigh, what a friend.

"Sit down, P'Kit." He pulled my hand down and kept on egging me to sit beside him. "We still need to talk."

"Talk about what?"

"A lot. Sit down first."

He said we had to talk about a lot of stuff, but ironically, he isn't talking about anything.

"Are we going to talk or ... ?"

"KitKat." He turned to me once again. His face was soft, but stern. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For making you cry."

"Oh." I mean, I don't even know if it's okay to say that 'it's okay', when even i'm not sure if it actually is. "Oh."

"I felt really bad that night, for keeping you at a safer distance. Just like you said, I probably caught on that you had feelings for me, but I really liked Yo back then. But."

"But ... ?"

"But all these years, I kept thinking about how much I want to talk to someone about everything, and every time I do, you're always the first person that pops out of my head."

"And? You didn't magically have feelings for me, did you? I don't buy that shi--"

"KitKat." He cut me off. "What kind of person do you think I am?"

"Should I tell you?" He didn't say yes or no. So I didn't tell him.

"Anyway, of course I didn't."

"Right, of course." He could have at least teased and said yes, but I guess everything's better this way. "Then what is it you're trying to say?"

"I don't want to be stupid anymore."

I didn't get what he said at first, until I remember that phone call, when we talked about ... who I liked. He said that anyone who doesn't like me back is stupid, but I'm skeptic as to whether that's what he actually meant.

"I miss you." He repeated that, again, for the third time now. "Even Yo is scolding me that you're all I ask about every time he tries to talk about P'Pha."

"Wayo?"

"Mm." He nodded. "So, I thought--maybe I do like you, but I never got to be sure about it ... since you stopped talking to me."

"Or because you were stupid and were just looking at someone else." I got carried away and thought out loud. But he just laughed.

"That's what I'm saying." He agreeably nodded. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure ... ?"

"Do you have someone you like right now?"

It took me quite some time to think of a way to answer his question.

"Ummm ... I do." He looked disheartened. His expression turned gloomy and he looked away from me again.

"Oh ... you do?"

"Yeah."

Another silence sat between us for a few minutes before I decided to break it.

"He's tall. Kind. Good-looking." He brightened up once again and faced me wide-eyed. "He unintentionally hurt me once, but if he's going to promise he's just going to look at me from now on, and if he promises we'd be honest with each other, I might just give him a second chance."

I don't know when it all started--when I started to be brave about my own feelings. The old me would have kept it in for as long as his heart could take. The old Ming would have kept himself between the lines the way he did when he realized he liked Yo.

Maybe it's the fear of losing someone. Or the haunting thoughts about what could have been. And in all these feelings, we just got tired of reading between the lines, and expecting others to do the same.

"I promise."