You couldn't bring yourself to go back into that house, not after what he said to you. You were hurt by men before, but not as much as now. It probably hurt this bad, because he was the love of your life, he was the one for you. But seeing as the fights you had got worse and worse, you wondered if you were the one for him as well.
James used to be the sweetest man you'd ever known. But that was until you reunited with some old friends from high school, which included your high-school lover. James never was jealous and he didn't really seem jealous now, it's just that ever since the reunion he had been acting weird and angrily all the time.
The thought of cutting things off with James entered your mind once again. The last month had been terrible and you couldn't go on with it anymore. After a walk of about an hour, you decided to face your fear, which was an argument with James, at least, you assumed there'd be another argument..
You knocked on the door, since you forgot to take the keys of your and James's apartment with you when you left.
The door was opened and James peeked his head form behind it, his eyes very red and watery. You just stared at him, knowing he felt bad for his previous actions, but you stood tall. You had been through this multiple times this past month.
"I'm sorry." he said and stepped aside so you could enter, but you stood still. "come in, please."his eyes got watery again and a tear slowly rolled down his face. You couldn't bring yourself to speak.
After a painful silence and you and James staring at each other with watery eyes, you finally got inside, took off your coat and made your way to the kitchen to get something to drink, something with alcohol.
You walked back into the living room with a bottle of Talisker in your hand, James's favourite whiskey.
"So you're gonna drink up my good stuff now?" James said, with a dull laugh, trying to lighten up the mood. But that didn't work, in fact, you only got angrier. "Don't you dare to try and pretend like nothing's happened." you snapped at him. James had never seen you this angry and it scared him. The thought of losing you made him feel sick. Because in fact, you were too, the love of his life and the only one he wanted.
His face went serious and sad immediately. "Look, I'm sorry, I went too far," he said as he took a sip of the beer he was holding, while you were consuming way too much Talisker. "again, James. Again. I am done with this. All the fights, and why?! I don't even know why we're fighting, I don't have any reason to fight with you, but apparently you do have a reason to start fights with me. So please, do tell me: what the hell is the problem?!" you were now yelling at him, the tears streaming down your face.
James stood there, speechless. Realizing he was the cause of the fights. As his mind wandered off, you couldn't believe him. "Are you fucking kidding me now? Speak up." James snapped back to reality and looked you deeply in the eyes.
"I am so sorry, (y/n). I don't want to fight you, I love you." he cried.
"Is this love, James? Because if it is, I don't want any of it!" you spat and lost grip of the bottle of whiskey, which was now in a lot of tiny pieces on the ground. "Fuck." you hissed, crying, while grabbing a towel to clean the mess up and placing the shards in the rubbish-bin.
"What are you saying?" James asked quietly while helping you. "What do you think I'm saying. That if this is what love is to you, I'm done with it." at this comment James's heart shattered.
"Don't leave me, (y/n), please!" he started, crying like a fool, "I've been so grumpy all the time, because I found out that I can't give you any children. After all this time of trying and trying I thought that there had to be something wrong. And there is, it's me, I can't give you any children and it breaks me, because all I want is to marry you and to start a family with you. God I love you so much, I've never loved anyone as much as I love you. I can't turn back the time and prevent the fights from happening, although that's want I want to do the most, but I can try and make it up to you. I swear I won't ever start a fight again and I will love you more and more everyday, because I do. I love you more and more every day, each second of the day."
Everything around you went silent as James was done speaking, you had never seen James with such sadness and you had never seen these emotions on him, it hurt you so badly to see him like this. You didn't know what to say. you felt so bad for him and what he had to go through. The fact that he couldn't give you any children wasn't even what was on your mind, now. Even though you had always wanted children, especially with James.
No, what was on your mind were the words: 'because all I want is to marry you'. You forgot about the fights and ran up to James to embrace him in your arms. You were both crying. "I'm so sorry, you should've told me, though. But no matter what, James, I love you, children or not."
James slightly smiled, through all the tears and all the redness on his face. "And if you were wondering, I'd love to marry you." you whispered in his ear. You felt his smile grow wide on his face while he placed kisses all over your neck and cheeks.
"Then I guess this is a good moment?" he said, and with that he got down on one knee, pulling out a small box from his pocket. He opened it and it had a silver ring inside, with a tiny diamond in the middle.
"My love, I know I haven't been myself lately, and now you know why. I know I shouldn't have started all the fights and I'm so sorry. But please, (y/n), believe me when I tell you that you're the love of my life and I'll always care for you the most. So, (y/n), would you do me the honor of marrying me?"
You were crying again, but this time it were happy tears. You nodded your head as excited as possible. James gently slid the ring onto your finger and got op, so he was towering above you.
Without making any further movements, you grabbed his face and kissed him as passionate as ever.
"I'm going to marry James McAvoy."
He was silent for a couple of seconds, realizing what he'd just done and what would happen in the future.
He chuckled at the thought of marrying you; "I'm going to marry (y/n) (l/n)."
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