Secrets Cause Silence ✓ [Secrets Book 2]

[Chapter Ten]

                 Oh, oh, you're a loaded gun
                   Oh, oh, there's nowhere to run
                        No one can save me
                           The damage is done

                        Shot through the heart
                          And you're to blame
                      You give love a bad name
                             I play my part
                       And you play your game
                       You give love a bad name
                       You give love a bad name
               You give love a bad name: Bon Jovie

Chapter Ten

I finally found some courage to confront and leave him after everything I went through and to say it didn’t go well would be an understatement.

I did it in a public place because I figured I would be safer there. We went out to dinner at a nice place so know he wouldn’t want to make a scene, his image was most important to him.

“We need to talk.” I said nervously at dinner and he smiled at me with a hit of annoyance in his eyes

“About what?” he asked and I slid the ring across the table to him. When he saw it he was furious and barley containing it. He grabbed my hand hard and forced it back on.

“Not happening.” He said

“I’m a legal adult, I don’t have to stay with you.” I said and he smirked

“And where are you going to go?” he asked me and I frowned

“I don’t care, the streets is better than living with you.” I didn’t have really any other family. I knew my dad had a sister but I knew she lived extremely far away.

“If you run, I will find you.” he said darkly and I wavered but I’d come this far and he was already going to beat me so I pushed forward

“I’m leaving Than. I’m done with you, your abuse, your friends, and the knife, the-" I paused not able to say it " I’m done with everything.” i finished

He smiled and leaned in closer to me

“You think that just because you found a little bit of nerve that it’s going to make a difference?” he asked

“Yes.” I said and he laughed

“Addison you are mine and will always be. You aren’t going anywhere and if you do I will track you down and beat you within an inch of your life.” he threatened and my breathing increased in fear. I knew he would do it and I was terrified he would but on the other hand I didn’t care.

I needed to get out of here and his threat held a lot and nothing at the same time. If I stayed he would do the same thing so I was stuck between a rock and a hard place at this point. Either way I would lose.

Except if I left he would have to find me and hurt me, I would kick and scream if he tried to take me home but if I stayed at home the abuse was guarenteed, I knew they would happen. I could pawn some of his stuff and get a bus ticket out of here and he would have to find me that way.

I was prepared to do anything to get away from him even if it meant running away, cutting my hair and dying it black. I would live on the streets to be away from him.

“You wouldn’t do that.” I said

“Yes I would and you know it. I will hunt you down and drag you home and then things will be ten times worse for you.”

“So you’ll kill me?” I asked and he shrugged

“Maybe not intentionally.” He said and I shook my head In disgust. I shouldn’t have said anything I should have just left but I guess part of me still wanted to believe there was the guy in there that I met.

One that would hear me out and let me go or tell me that he’ll be better and try harder, that if I stayed he wouldn’t hurt me.

I knew it would be a lie if he said that but at least it would show that he had a heart somewhere deep down inside of him, that he had feelings or that he had loved me once.

But there was nothing but evil and hate. There was no help for him, he was a monster and he never loved me. I even missed the days where he would hit me and then sit there apologizing promising he would never do it again, telling me he loved me.

Now all I get afterwards is bleeding on the bed, his friends laughing at me and taunting me, barley conscious.

“Honey, make sure that mess is cleaned up by the time I get home.” Was all he would really say and then his friends would sit there calling me a slut and a whore, saying no one would ever love damaged goods.

That part hurt, saying that what they did to me made me unlovable.

I guess on some level I knew that, no guy would ever want to deal with the problems I had, It’s painful for me to bare anyone touching me, I start freaking out and in public it’s harder, hands to shake and lots of people I have to keep an appearance up around and so does Than.

He plays the loving fiancé and he keeps a hand on my waist, wraps an arm around me, kisses me, holds my hand and anything else he can think to be affectionate and it makes me sick and I nearly have panic attacks trying to keep calm.

I always thought he would never try anything in public but every time my parents have a party at their house he takes me upstairs and has his way with me, no knife because we can’t leave blood, but the sex still happens and then he pulls me back down stairs and kisses me which makes me want to throw up on him.

I wish I could have that first year back, back before the rape started. I wish I could just go back and never date him really because if I tried to leave even after the first slap my parents never would have let me, I was still a minor at that point.

My parents put off law school for me until after the marriage and I wish they hadn’t because I was just desperate to get some kind of freedom to meet people and socialize but at the same time I freaked about because of the amount of people at a college.

My life was so fucked up and I was ready to give up everything to try to start new.

Almost Done, Two More Chapters!