happiness! » stray kids

5. [for your information, chan is not a satanist]

"Y'know sometimes, when you swallow water, and your throat makes a really awful swallow-y noise and it's really loud and disgusting and everyone can hear it? That's like, a mood," Felix mused.

"I wish you'd swallow your words instead of saying them," Changbin replied.

"Shut up Shangbean. You're so ugly and unsupportive, oh my God."

"You guys make me want to swallow lit firecrackers," Jeongin said. "Where's Chan?"

"He's heating up his hot pocket in Ms. Kim's room," Felix said.

"Why does he have a hot pocket?"

"Why does he do anything?"

There was a pause.

"True."

A few minutes later, they saw Chan walking toward their table, hot pocket in hand, a transcendent grin on his face. Every other step, he glanced at his hot pocket to make sure it was still safe. All that precaution, and he still dropped it when he sat down.

"NO!" He screamed, diving to retrieve it. He cradled it and whispered, "I'm never gonna leave you behind. Five second rule."

Felix, Changbin, and Jeongin exchanged shell-shocked glances. Then Chan spanked his hot pocket softly and took a bite.

"God is dead and you killed him," Changbin said. Felix gazed at him with hearts in his eyes until Changbin noticed.

Jeongin was staring firmly at the ceiling. "Tell me I'm not crying right now. Someone please tell me I am not crying."

"Jeongin, you're crying."

Chan finally noticed the destruction he and his hot pocket had wreaked (only because he finished eating the stupid thing in about two nanoseconds). He frowned.

"What's wrong with you guys?"

Jeongin threw his hands up in the air and then put his head on the table, proclaiming, "Jeongin dot e-x-e has stopped working."

"What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong is that this is worse than the time you thought making me do the splits down a slide for your media production class was a good idea!" Felix exclaimed, voice higher than Woojin's if he was singing with helium.

"You don't spank a hot pocket, Chan," Changbin said in a dead tone.

"Hey, I thought we were gonna use lunch to brainstorm marketing ideas for the bottled happiness," Chan said, in a one hundred percent not-sulky tone. 

"But Jeongin's brain just yote itself off a cliff because of you," Felix pointed out.

"Well, we'll brainstorm without Jeongin."

"I'll cry," Jeongin warned, voice muffled. Then he mumbled something like, "Not that I already am, or anything."

Changbin sighed. "I hate you all."

This could not stand. "Even me?" Felix demanded.

"Especially you, you dumpster fire."

"If you know how I feel why would you say that? Like –"

"I think we should set up a stand," Jeongin interjected loudly, cutting off Felix's tearful monologue.

"–you put me in such an uncomfortable situation, like you know I'm–"

"I would say that's a good idea, but is it really?"

"–not happy, you–"

"Felix, shut up before I shove Satan's own crusty foot down your throat," Changbin said.