happiness! » stray kids

6. [hyunjin plays minecraft to feel like a hacker]

"We should've planned this better. My street is only inhabited by old ladies. And not the kind who are down for drugs," Jisung said. He and Minho were lounging behind their stand like it was a symbol of power and not a symbol of their deteriorating mental states.

"Do – Do you know a lot of old ladies who are down to do drugs?" Minho asked, dreading the answer. He should stop asking Jisung questions, because he always seemed to be dreading the answers.

Jisung's face darkened. "I know one," he said in an equally dark tone. Then he grinned. "She's great company, I love having her over for casseroles and game shows."

"Why don't you invite me over for casseroles and game shows?"

"Because you're not down for drugs, are you?" Jisung said before his mouth caught up with his brain. His brain was always running late to conversations. Quite inconvenient.

"What – Are you down for drugs?" Minho spluttered.

Jisung gasped loud enough to ensure that the sound wouldn't leave Minho's ears anytime soon and clapped his hand to his heart like brainwashed American grade-schoolers chanting their pledge of allegiance.

"I can't believe you would even accuse me of such a thing! I have to be a good role model for Jeongin, and I can't disappoint Chan any more than I already have."

"Jisung, just last week you gave Jeongin a powerpoint presentation on why you should give people who put pens in their breast pockets swirlies."

"And?"

"That's not exactly an example of being a good role model."

"I can't deal with your disrespect right now." Jisung got up and began walking up the driveway — or rather, stomping up the driveway just loud enough to show that he was mad.

"You can't just leave me here!" Minho shouted.

"Hey, big idiot, guess what? That's exactly what you're watching me do!" Jisung shouted back.

"This is your driveway! I can't sit at the end of it by myself!"

"Why not?"

"Because it's weird," Minho said, sounding unsure.

Jisung turned back around. "You're weird."

"Can you see me rolling my eyes?" Minho rolled his eyes. Jisung squinted.

"Not really, you know how not good my vision is."

"You need to accept that your vision sucks and you need to get glasses."

"But I've already taught Jeongin to kick any person with glasses in the back of their knees. I can't have my own offspring turn against me!"

Minho heaved a deep sigh.

"I just got a call from Jisung. The plan is failing. We need another plan of attack," Hyunjin said into his headset. Seungmin, from the other boy's couch, threw a handful of unsalted almonds at him.

"Can't you just call Chan on the phone instead of playing Minecraft with him on the Xbox?" Seungmin asked. Hyunjin whirled around and held a vicious finger up to his lips, indignant rage burning in his eyes. Seungmin threw another handful of almonds at him, and he tried to karate chop them out of the air (unsuccessfully). The almonds on the floor were planning their own operation to take over the carpet.

"Why do you keep – Because I like the headset, it makes me feel like a hacker. What? Oh, nothing, just talking to Seungmin."

Seungmin rolled his eyes.

"Why does it have to be Minecraft?" He asked no one. "Why?" He kept up a monologue in which he berated Hyunjin for being stupid until Hyunjin got sick of it and turned off the whole Xbox just to fix him with a glare.

"Dude," he said, "first you come into my own house and throw my own almonds at me while lazing on my own couch, and then you make fun of me ceaselessly."

"And?" Seungmin asked coolly.

Hyunjin lurched forward, possibly to strangle Seungmin, but he stepped on an almond with his bare foot and crashed to the floor, cursing wildly.

Seungmin laughed. "We should figure out how to bottle moments in time, because this would make our happiness potion so much better."

Hyunjin, who was rolling on the floor and clutching his foot, thankfully did not hear this statement, or the probability of Seungmin remaining alive would've decreased by quite a lot.

"Speaking of," Seungmin continued with no regard for his fallen friend, "Felix promised us money, which is the only reason I agreed. And we haven't really gotten any money yet, unless you count Minhyuk, which I don't. Last year, he agreed to chug a whole bottle of chocolate syrup before he even heard how much money he'd get for doing it."

"Business is business," Hyunjin said, sitting up. The mouthpiece of his headset jammed into his ear and the part that was supposed to cover his ear covered his nose instead.

"You can use that business to buy yourself a new headset," Seungmin snickered.

"I suggest that you start praying for salvation."

"And why would I do that?"

"Because when I kill you, the last thing you'll have done in life is make fun of your best friend."

"Who said I was your best friend?"

"Point proven." Hyunjin extricated himself from the headset, smug expression on full display. Seungmin was not normally a violent person, but he really wanted to cut Hyunjin into small pieces and then dispose of him in a river. Instead, he offered Hyunjin some of the cookies he'd seen on the counter.

Hyunjin had baked those cookies with his mom earlier that week.

He grabbed Seungmin in a choke hold.

"Life alert!" Seungmin spluttered. "I've been snatched!" He pounded the floor weakly and pretended to pass out.

Hyunjin called him an absolute fool and let him lie on the floor while he ate his own cookies that he made, thank you very much. When Seungmin magically revived from the dead, his first move was to beg for cookies like the dirty rat he was. Hyunjin reveled in his power and kicked Seungmin out of his house, cookie-less.

oof.
why are they always playing dead when something mildly inconvenient happens? how did that become a thing. its a mood tho
its been awhile since i updated hopefully yall havent dug this story its grave yet. updates from now on will be sporadic, but i dont wanna keep it on hold forever ya feel?
how about that teaser tho im actually dying