happiness! » stray kids

9. [horse tranquilizers are no match for the student body]

They started selling the happiness potion during lunch, and soon, the line was going out the door of the ABB. Felix had set up their operation in the handicap stall, a makeshift counter in front of the toilet with bottles behind him. More bottles, the ingredients, and of course, the crock pot (which was about one more use away from being able to summon Satan) were locked firmly in the other stalls. Felix didn't trust the rats he had to call his classmates, so he had Minho and Jisung board up the stalls. It was, frankly, an eyesore, and he was disappointed in them, but it was the best they could do under such short notice. Sometimes, in order to make a profit, you have to take a risk (even if the risk gives your eyes a headache).

Anyway. Felix was sitting behind his counter, preparing to serve none other than Park Junhee.

"Do you guys make a love potion, too?" Junhee asked with the desperation of a dehydrated man in the desert. Or Yoo Kihyun when he posts a thirst trap on all his social medias but doesn't get a single comment.

A lightbulb went on over his head. Then he realized it was just Jisung, pulling the string in the next stall over to turn on the actual lightbulb hanging over his head, signaling that he was taking too long with a customer.

"Not at the moment, but we might in the future," Felix said, reaching behind himself to get a bottle.

"You better make that two bottles then," Junhee replied in a resigned tone, digging his money out of his pocket.

"Aw, buddy," Felix said. Junhee's crush on Donghun was incredibly sad, and it almost made Felix give him a discount. Almost. Besides, he had to help who was next, anyway.

"Best of luck with Donghun," Felix said, handing Junhee his two bottles. The wheels in Felix's brain were turning in a way he didn't quite like; maybe they could make a love potion next— the amount of money they'd get... But no, that was cruel; he wouldn't turn into some Walmart version of a druglord just to get some extra cash.

"Thanks, I'll need it," Junhee mumbled, then began the arduous process of exiting the stall and the ABB through the thronging crowd. Felix was pretty sure that if someone fell over in there, their body would only be found weeks later, heavily mangled from the dirty, knockoff sneakers of the fake edgy teens of Felix's school.

"Maybe the potion will take your mind off your unrequited love for Donghun!" Felix said to Junhee's retreating back, raising his voice a little. He'd never been good at volume control, and in his opinion, Lady Luck was a figure like a forty-years-unbathed crazy cat lady who performed rituals involving goat blood, but still— when the next person to come through his line was Donghun himself, he was not proud of the way his face suddenly resembled the Pillsbury Doughboy.

"Egad!" He exclaimed. One look at Donghun's face and he knew that the other boy had heard him.

"Junhee...?"

"Zoinks!"

"He has a crush on me? I thought everyone was joking," Donghun mumbled, money in his hand forgotten.

"Jinkies!"

"I'm gonna chuck my guts."

"Creepers!"

"Would you shut your Scooby Doo spouting fanny up for one second, please?" Donghun snapped.

"Looks like someone needs an extra happiness potion," Felix said, unable to help himself.

Donghun looked as though he'd like to wrap his hands around Felix's neck, if the way he was strangling his wad of money was any indication.

"I gotta go talk to him. Just gimme one bottle," Donghun said, chucking the money at Felix like it was a heavily dangerous explosive object. Felix kind of flinched (though Jisung would say he flinched so hard he smacked the wall with elephantine force) and gave him a bottle. Then Donghun zoomed, not enough waiting for his change.

Shellshocked, Felix shrugged.

"Next!"

They sold happiness until they ran out of bottles, and Changbin and Woojin were in charge of sending out mass threats of keeping this quiet in order to keep it alive— Changbin because of his terrifying aura and ability to maintain a perfect deadpan, even if God Himself were before him, and Woojin because he said he'd make the rest of the school year miserable with his "student council superpowers" if anyone blabbed.

The next day was truly miraculous. Felix was rich, his friends for once seemed to cherish his presence (he refused to think about this for longer than a second because then he'd realize the true capitalistic and materialistic nature of his friends, and that they cared more about money than him, but haha, that's okay right?). But the students. Oh, the students. From the general depression that usually hung over the entire student body, Felix was surprised that they were this...well, happy. He'd figured everyone would just be like a normal person.

But no.

Everyone was like Jisung when Minho finally accepted his love.

That is to say, disgustingly energetic and happy, bouncing off the walls like a tiny chihuahua on crack. Okay, maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration— on the student body part, but not on Jisung's part. Jisung truly did act like a tiny chihuahua on crack. He'd been threatened, by Seungmin, via horse tranquilizers.

But not even horse tranquilizers would bring down the mood of the school. Felix and his friends were legends, and even better, the administration knew nothing. Of course, they were suspicious— high schoolers? Being happy? What kind of alternate universe, kids show hellscape had the school turned into?

But Felix and his friends managed to keep Operation Happiness running smoothly, right under their noses.

KFJDHW I WAS PROOFREADING THIS CHAPTER AND I FORGOT I DID KIHYUN DIRTY LIKE THAT,,, but hed totally be that kid lmao

i have like four days left of school! maybe i'll be updating more regularly then hA