Tiny Tales

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

It's another of those days. It's happening more often than I did like it to. He came to visit again today, with his wife, if you are thinking. I don't like to see her face, I hate her so much. I want to hate him too, but I just can't. I still love him. I just love him so much... Ugh!

It was another of those monthly visits. Can you believe it? I can see my baby only once a month and that too with her keeping an eye on me. As if I'm going to eat my own baby. It's absolutely ridiculous. I guess being a single mother with no financial support, doesn't allow you to have a family. I miss Drew so much. He has his father's eyes, beautiful green ones. That cute smile on his face every time I cry 'Scooby-doo', I just love it. He is my baby though. He looks like me.

Sometimes, I just wish things would have been different. He wouldn't have left me for that woman. We would have been a happy little family. I don't know what went so wrong. We were so happy. I always thought he would be the perfect husband, I tried to be his perfect wife. But, now I'm just the other woman.

I still remember the day he proposed me. He flew me off to London to this beautiful place, I think it was a garden. I never got a chance to explore that place. Someday, I will!

It was decorated with flowers, candle lights. I felt so happy... so special. It's not every day your boyfriend flies you out to some romantic destination. I can't say the same for him though, he used to take me on vacations, every other month. We would spend the most amazing time there. Snuggling up to each other, spending some quality lousy times together. Damn those days! Oh! Sorry, I just totally wandered off.

As I was saying, that garden in London and the starlit sky. Strangely, I have never seen so many stars in the sky at once, it was so mesmerizing. We were having dinner. He sat close to me, I liked his warm body against mine. He would steal a kiss, now and then, making my cheeks go red. My heart was beating so fast that evening. I knew something was up, I could feel it. The atmosphere was building. The night was turning silent as if even the beauty around us was participating in this moment. And then it came, he stood up from his chair. I stood up too, thinking we were leaving. That clumsy me! He chuckled pushing me back in my chair. Bending on one knee, he took my hand in his big ones, making small circles at the back of it. I couldn't hold back my tears, I knew it was time.

Stealing a tiny kiss, he started "Ann, my love. Since the time I saw you at that conference, I fell in love with you. I couldn't keep my eyes off your face. I knew you thought I was being creepy, but trust me, sweetheart, it was so hard to control my eyes. And you still leave me spellbound. So, here it is- From our first kiss to our last breath, I promise to hold your hands in mine." He kissed my hand again.

"I want you, Ann. I need you. From this moment until the end of time, will you be mine?"

He took out a ring from his pocket. It was platinum band ring, with three small diamond dots. I still wear it, when I'm alone. I like to feel he is with me, even when he is not. I crave for the way he looks at her now, the way he used to look at me once upon a time. He didn't keep his promise, I want to keep mine though. I promised to keep him happy. He is happy with her. I thought I would be happy if he is happy. But, it still kills me every day. I haven't dated since the time he got married. I couldn't give his place to someone else. But, he gave mine to someone so easily. At times, I couldn't help but wonder- Am I that easily replaceable? Was it so easy for him to give me up?

But, that wasn't the only thing that broke me. He got the custody of my son too. I didn't want anything from him. Some would think I married him for money. An orphan who had to struggle for her daily bread, why wouldn't she grab onto a rich guy? But, please believe me when I say that I didn't. I really loved him... love him. I didn't ask for a single penny for our divorce. I begged him to stay, to at least let me have my son. And, all I got was a month a day!

I guess, everything shattered after Drew was born. Since then, he was different. I couldn't understand why! He loves Drew, there is no doubt in that. He is a great father. We were supposed to stay together, even have a daughter. But something seemed off about him at the end of my pregnancy. I thought he might be tensed. What with the baby coming! The responsibilities of being a father. It was huge, I knew that. I understood him. Only, I failed to read him. He was already gone from the moment I felt the difference. He was already with someone else. Yes, Her!

At times, during those monthlies, I would look at her and think maybe I know why he had chosen her. She is beautiful. The kind even girls have a crush on. The perfect figure, that beautiful smile, sculptured face- God surely made her with a lot of patience. She is a model, after all. One of the top. Sometimes, I wish I could be her. I never had what she has, I am kind of plain. I don't know how he could have ever loved me. He is so handsome. Green eyes, sharp jawline, those lips that make me want to kiss him every other second and that physique... don't even get me started on that. Maybe, he thought so too and rectified his mistake.

You know, that day... that time, he told me about her, my entire world crumbled. Drew was sleeping on my arm. I was singing a lullaby to him. He came and told me, so simply that he was in love... with someone else. I could instantly feel my tears betray me. I knew something was up and tried hard to prolong it. I thought that when he would hold our baby in his arms and feel that tiny being we were responsible for, his heart would change. He would be back. But, I guess I was so wrong. I was late! During the time, he was telling me how he felt about her- the only thing going on in my mind was the promises he made... the ones I thought were true. My heart felt so heavy, I was shivering. I thought I might wake up Drew. I wanted him to come and hug me, maybe for the last time. But, he left. Just like that. He said he couldn't bear to see me in this position. Then, why did he place me here?

Anyway, it's all gone now. Can't bring back what's not there anymore. I think I will bring a dog, someone to keep me company. This cottage is kind of lonely. How many days can you cry yourself to sleep after all? I imagine myself hugging him tight and crying my heart out. I feel him kiss my neck, bury his face in my hair, whisper sweet nothings while I vent my heart out. They are all imaginations, but at least that's something mine. Our memories together, no one can take those away from me ever.

I'm so sorry. You might think I'm some crazy, weird person. That's what I have become, I guess. Anyway, I need to leave. I can't see past my tears, it's all blurry. Thank you...for being with me.

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Hi readers!

Here is another mini-tale. I hope you enjoyed reading it. I know it was an emotional sort, and I shouldn't say, but I hope it made you emotional. Just so to prove that I succeeded in bringing out the emotions.

Do let me know your thoughts.

Happy Reads!