Heaven (Sequel to Only Love)

IV

*Lynn's P.O.V*

"You gotta be kidding me?" Brian said, confused.

"Swear, dude. They were like weird demonic noises. I was worried about you man." Alex said, patting Brian on the back.

I chuckled at their conversation. I'm glad I started this band with these guys and more importantly I'm glad I could call them family. Just annoyed me why I couldn't be happy, just like them. Something was always on my mind, or I was worried about my singing, or how Alexa is feeling, or if people in the crowd are gonna like us, some stupid shit nobody else would worry about.

I just wanted one day, just one day where I didn't have to worry about anything and I could just be happy.

"Morning, Justin." Alex said, Justin walking through the bus door.

"Did you tell Brian?" Justin said chuckling, throwing off his hat onto the table.

"Yeah dude" Alex said laughing.

"Lyndsey, how are you?" Justin asked, tilting his head sideways.

I was caught off guard, hoping that none of the boys would've asked me how I was. I mean, even if you just looked at me you could tell I was a wreck. I was tired, overwhelmed, slightly hungover, and just not okay. My girlfriend isn't with me, I'm homesick and I don't ever feel comfortable in my own skin, but I somehow mustered the words "yeah, thank you." and that seemed to do the trick.

"Dude, okay so there was this extremely nice girl at my TEI class yesterday-."

I just began to zone out, forget where I was, who I was with and even who I was. I just felt empty. Must've been easily a good 30 minutes of me just stuck in my thoughts when I heard Matty come through the bus door.

"Alrighty PVRIS fam, let's get this show on the road."

"Totally gonna pretend like you didn't just use the word 'fam'." Alex said throwing on his all white vans.

Matty's eyes darted at me, completely avoiding Alex's comment.

"Lynn, you don't even look the slightest bit ready. What's going on? Forget this is literally one of the biggest shows of the tour?" He said shaking his head afterwards.

I chuckled faintly at his lecture. "I'll be ready. Swear." I said getting up and heading to my bunk to get my sunglasses.

"To the breakfast line we go!" Brian shouted.

"I'm gonna stay behind, I gotta talk to Lyndsey.  But, you should totally save us both a plate. Especially her, she's gotta eat. She hasn't seemed too well." Matty said, pulling Brian aside.

"Yeah, of course. And I totally agree. We got you covered." Brian said before catching up to Alex, Justin, and the rest of the PVRIS crew.

Matty walked back into the bus, and sat down on one of the chairs connected to a small table, scrolling through his phone.

I grabbed my sunglasses and threw my hair in a quick messy bun, made my little bunk, and hid my sketches under blankets.

"Swear to god, if you guys left me again-, Oh!" I said as I walked into the middle of the bus, out of the bunk area. "Why'd you wait up for me, why didn't you head off with the boys?" I said to Matty, lifting up my sunglasses from my eyes.

"Well, you seemed pretty upset that we left you last time."

"Bullshit, you guys have left me more than twice." I said completely taking my sunglasses off and nibbling on my thumb nail.

"That's very true. Truth is, I know you're not okay, Lyndsey. Tell me what's going on." He said with a reassuring tone.

I sighed and wanted to do nothing but run away. I didn't know what to tell him. I really didn't want this to turn into a therapy session.

"Nothing, why?" I asked, pretending nothing was wrong.

"Cmon now Lyndsey, I know you better than that. What's up?" He asked.

Assuming he wasn't gonna just drop it, I began to explain myself.

"I'm just really upset be-"

Brian and Alex busted through the bus door.

"Guys, we got you breakfast and shit, but y'all gotta come out. The guys from Echosmith got some shit to show us. Plus there's a bunch of kids already in line!" Brian said.

"Cmon Lyndsey! Plus you're the star of the show, everyone's dying to see you." Alex said shrugging his shoulders.

I faked a small smile. "Yeah I was just about to catch up with you guys. Matty was just telling me about the tent I have to go to later for a signing." I said, putting my sunglasses back on.

"Oh yeah, we ran into Cody and he told us that you're on the list for that music tent thing. That's pretty dope." Brian said. "Maybe we could check it out? It's local huh?".

I nodded and opened the bus door. Brian, Alex, and Matty trailed behind me.

"I'm probably gonna head there by myself actually, before I eat. I wanna see how this shit is gonna go down. They've got a bunch of big artists, and I just wanna make sure everything is gonna run smoothly. I wanna try to meet everyone that gets in line for this signing." I said. As true as this was, it was mainly just an excuse to be by myself for a little longer. That awkward conversation with Matty just kinda left me uneasy and uncomfortable. I just wanted to drop it and my weird mood so I could enjoy today. Like Matty said, we're in Boston today. It's gotta be one of the best shows.

"Yeah, that's totally fine. Bri, Alex and I will meet you later." Matty said patting my back lightly. "We'll see you in a few." He said heading with Brian and Alex to the catering tent.

Ugh.

-lynnlikesladies