Afternoon Run

fifteen; ❝friends❞

Later that day, I see my father arrive in his shiny black car, and I'm already terrified. When he steps out to the new vehicle, I notice that he's wearing a black suit with a frown on his face.

His face is familiar, it's the older male version of mine. It's shadowed with another wrinkle around his eyes, which is one more than what he had 8 months ago when we last saw each other on my birthday. When I hear him hit the doorbell, I shudder.

"Hello father," I greet him after I open the door for him.

He gives me a stiff hug, and I return it with the same lack of excitement. Out of politeness, my mom also offers him a hug. He even shakes Jesenia's hand, but barely acknowledges her existence.

"Let's go eat dinner," my mom says, wisely choosing to stomp over the awkward silence between all of us.

We all sit at the large dining table, and it doesn't take long before we start eating. My dad is sitting across from me, and he barely speaks up.

Under the table, Jesenia takes my hand into hers,and I can tell she's just as anxious as I am, even if she doesn't say it.

"Adelina, it's nice to see your new friend and everything but where's the boyfriend? Your mother said I would meet the person you're dating."

"Dad. . . she's not my friend, she's my girlfriend and her name is Jesenia."

I nervously glance at my father, and he says, "Oh. .
. oh."

He has the audacity to then spit out the food he had just been eating into his white napkin, and then he gets up from his chair. It takes him mere seconds to leave the dining room and fill me with hopeless energy.

"Come ba-" my mom calls after him.

But, it's too late.

She tries to chase after my dad, but I hear the loud slam of our front door.

I get up from my chair to look out the glass window, and I find that my father is already in his car. I watch  as he turns on the vehicle, starts it, and drives away.

When my mom comes back, she starts to say, "Adel—"

"I've disappointed him again," I say out loud.

"No, you haven't. He's just not used to the idea of you having a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend."

She can say it how she wants, but I know that I disappointed him. It's impossible to hide that.

"I've disappointed him again," I repeat, ignoring her previous words.

It's been a constant cycle of anger, sadness, and distress with him. Even before they broke up, everything was always messy. I think he always hated me, and that'll never change.

Back when the divorce was still fresh in our minds, I had taken my mom's side.

While my absent brother had left with my dad, I had chosen to stay with my mom. Ever since then, my father made less of an effort to hide his annoyance toward me. Now, I've further damaged our relationship. And, he'll behave even worse with me.

My mom rushes back into the dining room, and gives me a gentle hug. I willingly let my tears fall on to her sleeve and she rubs my back, trying to comfort me. It reminds me of all the times my father has hurt me in the past, and how she's always been the one to step up to the task of protecting me.

"I'm so sorry he reacted that way."

"A part of me already knew he wouldn't accept me but it still hurts."