I Swear I'm Not Crazy

4. Autonomous Robotic Organisms

Song: Alien Youth -Skillet

The robot Camaro drives us to an abandoned alley, where five vehicles are waiting. We slowly get out, unsure of what's happening. The vehicles transform around us, various sizes of robots. The largest of them, apparently the leader, kneels down brfore us, looking at my brother and I.

"Are you Samuel James Witwicky and Eleanor Thea Witwicky, decedents of Archibald Witwicky?" he asks.

"Yeah...," Sam answers, and I can only nod. "Well, I, uh, I go by Sam, and my sister's called El."

"My name is Optimus Prime," the robot greets, standing back up. "We are autonomous robotic organisms from the planet Cybertron."

"But you can call us Autobots for short," one of the other robots, an ambulance, inputs.

"What's cracking, little b*tches," a silver one greets.

"My first lieutenant," Optimus introduces. "Designation, Jazz."

"How did he learn to talk like that?" Sam asks.

"We've learned Earth's languages through the World Wide Web," Optimus explains. He continues introductions, gesturing to the black robot that had been a truck. "My weapons specialist, Ironhide."

"You feeling lucky, punk?" Ironhide asks, pulling out his guns, and I duck behind my brother.

"Easy, Ironhide," Optimus chides.

"Just kidding," Ironhide seems to shrug. "I just wanted to show them my cannons."

"Our medical officer, Ratchet," Optimus indicates the ambulance.

"The boy's pheromone level suggests he wants to mate with the female," Ratchet says. "The one that's not his relative, that is."

I can't help the snort that escapes, but Sam glares at me.

"You already know your guardian, Bumblebee," Optimus says, gesturing to the Camaro robot.

Bumblebee demonstrates a few punches, playing through his stereo, "Check on the rep / Yep, second to none."

"You're our guardian?" Sam questions.

"His vocal processors were damaged in battle," Ratchet explains. "I'm still working on them." He points a laser at Bumblebee, which seems to make the robot cough.

"Why are you here?" Mikayla asks finally.

"We are here looking for the All Spark," Optimus answers. "And we must find it before Megatron."

At Sam's question, Optimus projects an image of destruction around us.

"Our planet was once a powerful empire," he says. "Peaceful and just. Until we were betrayed by Megatron, leader of the Decepticons. All who defied them were destroyed. Our war finally consumed the planet, and the All Spark was lost to the stars. Megatron followed it to Earth, where Captain Witwicky found him. It was an accident that intertwined our fates. Megatron crash-landed before he could retrieve the Cube. Your grandfather accidentally activated his navigation system. The coordinates to the Cube's location on Earth were imprinted on his glasses."

"How'd you know about his glasses?" Sam asks.

"Ebay," Optimus answers.

"If the Decepticons find the All Spark, they will use its power to transform Earth's machines and build a new army," Ratchet says.

"And the human race will be extinguished," Optimus concludes.

"Ooh, take a look at her," Bumblebee tells Optimus, pointing at me. "Sorry to interupt... Look into her eyes."