Sweet Dreams

Chapter 6: Pitch Black #1

The bell dismisses us but when I'm half way out the door, Mrs. Pikes stops me in my tracks. "Chris,"

I turn and smile politely, "Yes ma'am?" She looks confused by my response. "What did your father say?" My face begins to burn as red surfaces to my cheeks. It's been two Friday's  ago since she's asked, I forgot to tell Father. Oh no.

"Mrs. Pikes," I start. I don't know how to tell her, I don't want her to get upset if it's something serious they need to discuss. "I haven't told him. I'm so sorry, it's just that there was a lot happening this recent week I've been out that it slipped my mind. I will tell him today right after school, I swear." She rests her eyebrows," It's alright, I need you to tell him as soon as possible. " I nod, and turn out the class. My face feels normal now.

I don't feel nervous to tell Father now, he has been pretty chill and open about everything. He's being my dad. Lord knows how much I've longed for this again, and I'm not sure if it's the circumstances or his blessing, but either works out. I'm satisfied with anything at this point. I have a dad!

"Hey, how was your day?" Father asks as I climb in. I've been smiling much more lately, there's no reason not to right? Grandmother and Mother would love to see me smile, I'm sure. "Alright. Oh, by the way Mrs. Pikes needs to have a 'conference' with you," I quotate. "It's about schooling and stuff." Father raises his eyebrows. "What?" I giggle. "Nothing kiddo."

He starts the car and we head home. A month ago today, I wouldn't have even said more than I just did in a week. Terror would have took control.

"Pizza?" Father suggests, looking at me. My eyes daydream on the car heading straight for us, but I can't move. I feel paralyzed as our fate is three seconds away from coming true. "Father!" I shout, but not soon enough. My ears ring as a full head on collision pierces my drums. My head pounds heavily into the dash board. I lose consciousness.  When I come to, my eyes are wet with warm liquid. My neck throbs and aches as I pull off the choking seat belt and glass falls on to my lap. I groan as I look over at Father, who's face is
ensanguined with thick crimson fluid.

"Daddy?" My voice is weak, and my throat scratches as I speak. Nothing. An extremely bright light blinds me as I look straight. What looks like a silhouette of wings block the view ahead, and I drop my forearm from my eyes. I squit, it's still ridiculously bright. A white-dressed woman glides over the accident debris. She has a round face, and solid brown hair. Her smile is recognizable. It's distinctive. It's not only an angel, but it's my grandmother.

She reaches through the broken windshield, "Take my hand baby doll." She gives me a warm, electric vibe that feels sensational. Confusion plays in my expression, and she insists, " It'll all be alright." My arm wobbles as I inch my trembling fingers to her translucent hand staying perfectly still. My fingers feel fuzzy as they are centimeters away from hers.

A huge dose of electricity pulls my eyes open as I suck in so hard my lungs sting. "She's back!" I see the lips of a young mans face move, but the rest is blurry. A mask covers my nose and I can breathe in easier. My body relaxes, but like getting hit by a train, pain shoots through every inch of my body. I try my hardest to resist moving. My head pounds so hard I can't keep my eyes open. I feel my brain settle down and drift into another world...

~

"Chris?" A voice sends signals for my eyes to open. Father nudges me with an open palm. "Christina." He's stern and makes me jump as I try waking up. That nightmare felt too real. I never thought I'd come back from it.

"Hey kiddo, what pizza sounds good?" Fathers creased forehead and beady eyes are full of curiosity. "Sausage."

"What just happened?" Father asks as he sets the pizza on his lap. I stare blankly at him. "Earth to Chris," he waves his hand in front of my face.

"Huh?" I question, breaking my day dream. "What just happened? Did you pass out or something?"

"I think so," I answer, his voice sizing up mine. "I'm so tired."

"Me too Christina." He looks straight into the traffic as we sit in the parking lot of Pizza Palace. I practically devour two pieces before my stomach can't take another bite. A hitch in my throat begins signifying I've ate too fast.

"I'm sorry about everything," Fathers voice is shaky. I can hear the urge of crying as he speaks. "About your mother, your grandmother, me." His eyes appear glossy and he looks down into the half eaten pizza box. "I know I could have done so much better for you and myself, but I just don't know the 'proper' way to cope with it. " he quotates. I want to embrace him, with a deep and sensational," I know, pa, " but I can't bring myself to do it. Instead I just gaze at this man, my father, and feel disgust marinate my expression. When he looks at me, I try my best to avoid eye contact by turning my gaze and clearing my throat. I don't feel anything right now, and maybe I'm not supposed to.

"Um," I say cold. " I understand pa. Can we just go home?"

"Sure thing."

~

Its been about a week since Father last hit me. It's beginning to worry me in a way. That sounds terrible, but seriously. He's never, I repeat, never been like this since Mother passed. I have no clue what has happened to him, but he's even stopped drinking. Something's definantly up, but I don't want to ask him about anything because I don't want him to flip. I couldn't prepare myself for it.

It does feel comfortable and nice to actually forget about counting my breaths, words, blinks. I'm partly recovering from Fathers last blow. I wouldn't even feel anything anyway. Grandmother being gone for the recent couple of weeks had made me numb, inside and out. I don't know if it would be alright to feel again. I can't imagine the last time I felt myself breathing or thinking, although I do that too much to try.

I feel so distant from myself, that I would burry myself into depression and consider being in the same after life with her and Mother if I decided to feel once more. But what's a rollercoaster without loops and turns and always those specific people with loose seat belts?