Breakeven

Chapter 38

Liam grabbed by arm as I walked past him in the doorway. Danny rushed ahead.

"What did I just interrupt?" Liam asked, sounding hurt.

"Nothing" I replied honestly.

"Didn't look like nothing, it looked like you two were getting back together"

"No Liam, it looked like I was hugging my husband, and now I'm going to see my son." I said as I looked down at his hand still gripping my arm. His grip loosened and he nodded, following me to Adams room where Danny was waiting outside.

Danny opened the door and gestured for me to go in first. I walked straight over to Adam's bed and took his hand in mine. I couldn't see any difference in Adam, he still looked like he was sleeping.

"How do you know he's waking up?" I asked Liam

"I was in doing some tests and noticed an increased eye movement, it may be nothing, but I knew you'd want to be here if he wakes so I thought I'd better come and find you, I'll leave you both to it" He said as I he wrote something on Adams notes before leaving the room.

"Thanks doctor" Danny said as Liam was going out of the room.

We sat in silence for a while, both of us just watching Adam intently, each holding one of his hands and looking for any signs of movement.

"What did the consultant say to you before?" Danny asked

"Nothing" I replied, with a sense of guilt. Until tonight I had no idea that Liam had romantic feelings towards me but there was a real jealousy in his eyes when he saw me with Danny.

"Is this what it's going to be like now?" Danny said as he glanced over to me.

"What do you mean?" I asked, surely Danny didn't overhear what Liam said?

"You don't tell me about my kids and I'm left in the dark like a stranger?" he said.

"Danny, what he said wasn't about Adam." I said, hoping this would be enough to shut down this conversation.

"Alright Kay, whatever you say" he replied turning away from me.

I knew he didn't believe me, why would he? Danny has no idea how much time I've been spending with Liam or how close we have become. To me he was just a good friend and I was still trying to process what happened tonight.

After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, I felt the need to speak. "Danny, it really wasn't about Adam, I promise you that." I said

Danny glanced over to me, clearly not believing a word I said which made me feel I needed to explain.

"I've been spending a bit of time with him, I thought as friends, but he got jealous when he saw me with you." I realised as soon as the words had left my mouth that it sounded far worse than it was.

Danny looked in shock. "So, while I think you won't come home because you won't leave Adam, it's really because you're out with him?" he asked, clearly trying to contain his anger but I could see it in his face.

"Danny, it wasn't like that" I said, not wanting to discuss this any further.

"Is he the reason you wanted me to go?" he asked, not willing to just drop the subject.

"No Danny, you're the reason I asked you to go. What I wanted never came into it." I said, hating the way that he was looking at me, wishing I didn't feel like I'd done something horrible, and trying to remind myself that I'm not the reason we had to split up.

"I'm sorry, you deserve to be happy. I just wish I had known that you've already moved on before I made a fool of myself asking you to wait for me." he said as he dropped his head to avoid any eye contact.

"How can I move on when I'm still in love with you?" I asked with a giggle, Danny hates when I throw references to things he's said before into conversations so I wondered if using his song lyrics would lighten the mood in here.

His head snapped up to look at me, the look was full of hope, oh God what have I done?

"Nothings changed Danny, we still can't be together." I said quickly, "but I will always love you, and right now I am still in love with you. There's only four people on this earth that I'd ever choose over you, and that's the reason we can't be together, for them"

Danny got up from his seat and walked around the bed to where I was, he pulled me into his arms. "I get it Kay, we need to focus on being the best parents we can be, but just so you know, I'm still in love with you too and I promise I'll find a way for us to be together." He kissed the top of my head as he pulled away.

"Kay" he said, a look of shock on his face as he stared at Adam.

I turned and saw slight movement coming from Adam, tears of relief ran down my face as I took Adams hand and sat on the edge of his bed speaking to him constantly to him reassure him that everything was OK and that I was there.

Danny sat down just behind me and I felt his arms holding my waist, he was almost holding his breath as I spoke, waiting in anticipation for Adam to wake up.

After what felt like forever, I saw Adams eyes starting to flicker.

"Take your time son, it's OK" I said, trying to keep my voice soothing and calm whilst inside I was a wreck.

Adams eyes eventually opened and he looked straight at me.

"Hiya sleepyhead" I said to him as his eyes started to focus on me, I pressed down on the call button by his bed to alert the nurses that we needed them.

Adams mouth tried to move but no sound came out.

"Don't try to talk sweetheart, everything's OK" I said as I leaned forward and kissed his forehead.

Two nurses came into Adams room in response to the call button. "You called us?" one of them said as they opened the door.

"He's woken up" Danny said, I could hear his voice cracking with emotion as he said it.

"OK" she replied calmly and just stood doing nothing as she watched me talking to Adam.

After only about 5 minutes he fell asleep again, I turned in panic to the nurses stood by his bedside.

"That's exactly what we would have expected, and nothing to worry about." She said as she lifted Adams notes. "He'll wake up a few times before he'll make sense of what's happened and him going back to sleep is nothing to worry about. Can I just say though Mrs O'Donoghue, you were fantastic with him. A lot of parents get so excited that they overwhelm the patients, you stayed so calm."

"Thanks" I said with a small smile, I didn't really want to explain that it was Liam who had told me how I needed to be with Adam when he woke up, inside I was panicking like mad. "Where's Liam?" I asked as they finished the checks on Adam.

"He's with another patient, he'll be down when he can." She told me.

"Can you just tell him thanks, for everything" I said, she nodded.

"He'll probably sleep for the rest of the night now, you two should consider getting some rest too." She said as they left.

I looked over at Danny, "Did I just imagine that?" I asked in disbelief that my boy had actually woke up.

He shook his head, "He is going to be alright Kay, thanks to you."