Breakeven

Chapter 39

"Mark, I can't. He woke up. I want to be here when he does that again." I heard Danny say as he came back into the room with his phone pressed against his ear.

"Then I'll rearrange it. I've got to go." He disconnected the call and sat down beside me.

"What was that all about?" I asked

"It was just Mark, I don't understand why he doesn't get that I need to stay here." Danny said sounding agitated.

"Where are you supposed to be?" I asked, fearing the answer but knowing what was coming.

"I'm supposed to check into rehab tonight. But it's fine, I'll just rearrange it. I want to be here when he wakes up again." Danny said, brushing off the importance of what he had to do.

"Danny, look at me." I said, feeling like I needed to at least try to persuade him to go to rehab but knowing that I had no real hold over him anymore and I couldn't force him to do it.

He looked at me and smiled.

"If you want to back out of going to rehab because you think it's going to be too hard or you're not ready to change then that's fine, nobody can make you go. But if you don't go, don't ever think it's OK to blame Adam for that decision. You got a bonus tonight Danny. If you genuinely came here to tell me you were going to rehab and you genuinely intended to go, then you had made that decision thinking that you'd be going away before Adam woke up. If you want to back out of your decision, then what happened here tonight can't be your excuse. He's fine Danny, and I'll make sure he's well taken care of while your gone. So, what's it going to be?" I asked

Danny started to nod his head gently as he processed my words. "OK, I'll go." He said to my relief, "But can I film him a message for you to show him when he wakes up properly. I don't want him to think that I'm not here because I don't care."

"Of course" I said to Danny as I handed him my phone.

He switched on the camera and sat talking effortlessly to the phone, telling Adam everything he wanted to say. I always envied how Danny could do that, I would've had to plan everything out and probably make a hundred recordings before I got it just right but he just sat down and spoke, from the heart.

"Promise me you'll show it to him?" Danny asked as he passed me my phone back, I nodded.

"Are you scared?" I asked

Danny looked thoughtful as he prepared to answer. "It worries me, how people will react when this comes out, and it will come out. It scares me to think that I won't have any contact with anyone for the first few weeks because that's a privilege I have to earn but life will go on without me. It's going to be different Kay, but in a good way."

I was a little surprised at how much Danny had actually thought about this step, but under his façade I could see that he was terrified.

He stood up to leave and walked over to Adam, stroking his head before bending down and placing a soft kiss against it. "You get better soon, little man. And I'm sorry for letting you down." He said, his voice cracking with emotion.

I wrapped my arms around Danny and echoing his words I said "You get better soon, and make sure you don't let him down in future". Danny kissed my cheek as he pulled out of the hug.

"I need to go, give my love to the girls and remember to show Adam the video."

I nodded before watching Danny walk out the door to start his new life, without me.