Fear (richie x reader)

Confession 1.

Richie's P.O.V
"What the fuck was that?" I say with absolute no hesitation in my voice I wanted to but yet didn't want to bring Up the topic. "What do you mean?" I sigh knowing two things she's ether A playing dumb or B really curious and not knowing I gulp knowing I'm getting myself into deeper trouble
"You know! What you did to Eddie" were still riding to the arcade because her house is pretty far till "what's wrong? It's not like I'm saving myself for anyone? Just a harmless kiss" I stop my bike and Y/n gets off looking at me "Hey what the fuck!" I clench my fist to my bike handle and my heart crumbles everything just hurts, why was is this? I can't stand to look at her in face I'll hurt more
"You know your way back it's not that far" my voice breaking at the end I ride off to the street across from the school. Where it all started where I fell in love you could say. Knees buried deep into my chest bike on the floor carelessly hair ruffled with fingers trailed off into them glasses on the floor near my foot that's half numb from feeling losing away in me I was helpless. Crying. Crying across the street from school! Over what?! A girl I had no chance with. It was over all over my hopes were gone I was. Useless

Y/n's P.O.V
"Can't. Believe. He. Just. Just. LEFT. ME." I stomped my foot with anger and can almost feel as if my foot cracked. Stinging in pain as it goes numb and my breath hitching. My breathing stops as I remind myself of that painful moment my eyes blur "you know your way back it's not that far" his voice echoing in your head getting deeper and heavier on your shoulders and concise. You could have sworn you were yelling out to him when he tried leaving but it wasn't in your memory it was gone. Imagines of him saying he was gonna protect you start playing in your head as you start screaming falling on the floor carelessly STOP STOP STOP IT HURTS. It hurts too much all of it why was it hurting all you wanted was to have a happy life with each other side by side partners in crime but all that crumbled in a matter of fifteen seconds You get up slowly as you start running to your house tears following the lines your face made when you cried stinging your eyes because you couldn't stop you reached your house and slammed the door and crying as you sat down with your knees piercing your chest
But that pain wasn't anywhere near what you felt from those last moments you look up at the kitchen counter and tear start down heavier every voice of richie piercing your skull "I can get used to this pose" you get up and knock everything off the kitchen counter screaming. You got upstairs and looked at the bathroom door "Tozier no one wants to see a fetus!" The wipes you took of previous tear now gone stained with new tears looking over to your parents room door "bill can't you see were having a moment" you scream as the pain before was hitting back you didn't know how to describe it but of all pains you've had this is the ten you were saving that hurt you most. You walked in your room and slammed the door sliding down the long cold wood of the door "I'm here I promise, promise?, I promise!" You start slamming at the door the floor everything you can "YOU'RE NOT HERE! NOT HERE YOU, YOU SAID YOU WERE GONNA P-PROTECT ME WELL YOU'RENOT HERE RICHIE YOUR NOT HERE WHEN I NEED YOU THE MOST IM HURTING AND ITS NOT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING THAT CAN GO AWAY ITS BECAUSE OF YOU!" You get up and start slamming your blanket and pillows and everything off your dresser screaming and hurting after you toned down a bit you sat on your bed and laid back with the feeling of richie still left on your skin you grabbed yourself together and well thought you did and turned on the shower stripping off your clothes you sat in the shower with the beams of water hitting you
you had thought you pulled yourself together which You realize you didn't you were crying in the shower it helped soothe the pain but not completely when you needed him the most he was

Gone

You were

Numb