Chapter 7

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Omega Pov

  We spent the rest of the day playing on the park's playground. It was fun. Now he's just pushing me on the swings. It was comfortable quiet, and we hadn't since discussed earlier but, I know that we've both been thinking of it as it would be impossible not to really. I'm not ready to be mates with him. I'm not sure if those moment we shared near normality were right for us. I want a mate so badly and I know that he does too but, I'm not ready for him to be my mate.

  I realize now that he does want me and I'm starting to come to grips with the idea that I did nothing wrong, however, I can't imagine being scared of him. I still flinch at his every move and my nightmares of him remain. I don't know if we can be a friend either though with everything in between us. The mate bond is strong between us whether I like it or not and I don't know how to exist with him. I think I know what my first step should be.

  "I think we should get separate bedrooms" he stops pushing at that. I hear his sigh from behind me. His hand falls gently from the chain to my shoulder.

  "Why?" He asks. His voice the most dejected sound you'd ever hear. I stand from my seat and turn to him.

  "We need time" he nods at this know I'm right. For once he's the one not making eye contact. Our date ends after that and we walk home in silence. Tonight is the last time we will share a bed probably for a very long time. We spent the rest of the day making arrangement for where I will live. I don't want to be in the pack house anymore. The place has brought me too much pain and misfortune to feel safe there.

  The noment comes too soon when we're both standing face to face on opposite sides of the bed too afraid to make the move that will lead to the end that much faster. I'm not sure who lays down first but, we end up side by side under the covers. We both stare at the ceiling where even cloaked in the darkness I find myself making up faces in the paint chips.
You know how kids find it so impossible to fall asleep on Christmas eve because they're just too excited for the next day? This is like that but, entirely different. I can almost feel my heart sinking into the mattress with knowing what will happen after this and that it was my decision.

  I look at him to find him staring back already. Instinct seems to take over and I curl into him. This is more than the mate bond right now; this is just us at this moment. I rest my head against his chest and count his breaths. His hands find their way to the tangles of my hair and the curve of my waist. Laying like this almost reminds me of those beautiful fairy tales where people fall in love at first sight and spent the rest of the night and in a way their lives just dancing. I've never wanted this feeling more. I doze off gentle then sudden. Before that last wisp of consciousness escapes me, I swear I feel something soft against my forehead and a quiet murmur.

  I wake the next day to see him staring at me. I lie almost entirely still and afraid to break this moment. Even a yawn could break this fragile harmony. I'm wrong though. A smile spreads across his face that warms my heart just that much more. He lifts a hand to my face slowly, probably to avoid my flinching, and tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. I want to keep this feeling right now. My head feels glittery and happy somehow in a way that just radiates down to my heart. I want to keep this in a jar almost.
...

  I decided I didn't want to even live in the pack house anymore. I've been walking in the halls breathing in the aftermath of what happened to me here since his party. Once there was nothing left for me to do, I was forced to look around and it's been like reliving it all. There are still a couple of stains on the carpet where I was never able to wash out all the blood.
I've decided on a small two-bedroom place not far from here. It's a quiet place in an area where mostly elderly citizens live so there should be less anxiety there. I haven't even seen it in person yet, but I'm already in love with it.

  Al- Will is a little less thrilled than I am, however, he seems like he's trying to be happy for me. He's even helping me move which is my entirely necessary due to how little stuff I have I only have one box. Will is planning to take me shopping though so I have everything I need.

  "Here we are," he says. We walked here together, and I must have zoned out. I look over to see his strained smile than to the house itself. Despite his unhappiness I beam at the sight of it. It's everything I wanted.

  The light-yellow house in front of us is one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. I love the pastel blue shutters and the little area under them to grow flowers. The lawn is lush with green grass and surrounded by a white picket fence. The path leading to the doorway beckons its welcome to me.

  In the moment of joy, I take Will by the hand and pull him along after me as I almost skip along. Once there I note that the front porch has enough space for me to put a rocking chair and maybe a swing someday. I grab the key from my pocket and push it into the lock I'm so excited to open it that I almost miss the hole. I twist the knob and the swing the door open.

  We are greeted by white walls and hardwood floors. I jump right in. I turn back to look at Will. He looks back at me with a conflicted expression. A little bit of my happiness is replaced with sorrow when I also realize again that he won't be here with me but, I guess that's kind of the point.

 A little bit of my happiness is replaced with sorrow when I also realize again that he won't be here with me but, I guess that's kind of the point

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