Yesterday's Regret

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"So are you saying that you're already reconcile with Suji noona?" Dongmyung asked while shoving his mouth with the black bean noodles they ordered a while ago.

Hangyul sighed, "That's why I'm regretting it now," He complained. He knows he just did something that he would regret. It has only been a month since Suji comes back, it's almost impossible for him to start their relationship over again.

There's too many unexplained things yet. He couldn't just say that he was ready to be in another relationship though it's with the same person. It was really hard to describe how miserable he felt right now as if every pieces of his heart that he tried to put together went out of place again.

And he needs to start it from the beginning again.

"Maybe this is the best for now," Dongmyung claimed. He knows how much Hangyul loves Suji but his ego holds him back from doing anything. Hangyul felt like it's better to do nothing rather than letting himself into another misery.

The situation becomes awkward for a while as they're focusing on eating the noodles before it's getting sogged. Because if it ever did, they need to throw it away which is not a good idea to waste their money.

"But do you know," Hangyul put his chopsticks down and went inside his room. He came out with few pieces of paper in his hand, "Here," He passed the papers to Dongmyung before continued eating the food.

Dongmyung frowned, "What is this?" He asked but started to read the content written on the paper immediately. He tried to process every words there but it's just doesn't make sense, "Why you never tell me about this?" Dongmyung looked at Hangyul with that kind of stare he rarely gives to people. He's really mad now. For real.

"There's nothing you could do eventhough I told you about it," Hangyul gave a lame excuse when he knows he just didn't want Dongmyung to get worried over him. It's not even worth it to do that.

The boy sighed, "Seriously, Hangyul?" He paused for a little while; taking a deep breath as he could feel that his blood is slowly boiling up at that moment, "Do you even consider me as a friend, Lee Hangyul? I've been staying with you for 2 fucking years yet I didn't know that you're sick," He slammed the paper onto the table, "Don't you think that this is too much?"

Hangyul still keep his poker face; showing no emotion towards those harsh words coming out from Dongmyung's lips. It hurts but there's nothing he could say in this kind of situation. Dongmyung has that authority to get mad at him for not telling him the truth and ignored the fact that he's the only friend Hangyul had.

"Lee Hangyul," Dongmyung called out for his bestfriend name with a really cold tone, "Is this why you're afraid to start all over again with Suji? If that so, you should tell me earlier. Then I won't push you to accept her in your life again. Why are you making me like a stupid person?" He confessed what has been on his mind.

"I didn't mean that,"

Dongmyung scoffed, "What a joke," He said, "You've been hiding your illness from me for a year and you said you didn't mean that? Lee Hangyul, am I even exist in your life?" He woke up from the chair and entered his room before he slammed the door with the maximum energy he had in himself.

Hangyul tried to stop Dongmyung from going but he failed. Dongmyung is mad right now. There's nothing could cool him other than he needs to wait the time pass by. He believes that Dongmyung would loosen himself, he will eventually understand Hangyul and won't blame him too much. Well, at least that's what Hangyul believes at the moment.

"Am I really the one who was at fault now?" He muttered under his breath before he put himself into a deep sleep to ease his mind from all of the problems he had in his head.

------

It's that dream again, Hangyul tried to reach Suji for the nth times but failed. But this time, he knows, he would forget the face as soon as he woke up. So he refused to wake up. Just, let he stayed in the dream for a minute more so that he could see Suji more. Though he could see her in real life, but at least in the dream, it won't be too hurt as much as it did in reality.

"Suji," He could feel that his lips are moving; calling out for Suji's name. A shake on his shoulders woke him up from the dream. Hangyul opened his eyes and all he could see was a dark room but he managed to let out a sigh of relief to see the one who was standing beside the bed, "Dongmyung," A slight smile formed on his lips.

"Are you okay?" Dongmyung asked, "You've been calling out Suji's name for thousand of times," He claimed.

Hangyul frowned, "Am I?" As expected, Hangyul couldn't remember any of it. The memories he had on the dream popped out like a bubble, "So," There's a sudden realization comes across his mind, "I've been dreaming about Suji all over these times?" He passed a questionable look to Dongmyung but the boy could just shrug his shoulders, "But why?"

"Hey," Dongmyung slowly hit the boy's face for few times, "You're just tired okay," Dongmyung grabbed the box of medicines Hangyul has put on the table, "Seems like you forgot to take your medicine again," He said and take out a few tablets from the container he has been separate the medicine according to the day. Dongmyung put them on Hangyul's hand before he poured water into the glass, "Here," Hangyul put the tablets into his mouth before he gulped the water.

"Thank you," Hangyul thanked the boy with his hoarse voice.

Dongmyung smiled, "Remember," He paused, "I will always be here for you. No matter what's your decision would be, I will always be by your side," Dongmyung assured the boy with his warm words. Though he is still mad at Hangyul for keeping secret but to be honest, Hangyul is way more hurting than him, so he couldn't add the pain that he feel.

Hangyul weakly nodded his head to the words, "I'm going to sleep more," He wrapped himself around the blanket as he could feel the coldness in the room. It's winter though. He must be falling asleep without turning on the heater. And that's why he's freezing now.

Dongmyung who realized that the room is quite cold for someone to stay in especially with snow falling on the outside, he grabbed the remote control and turn on the heater for the boy's sake, "If you love her that much, why don't you hold onto her instead of letting her go," He muttered before leave the room.

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