Freya couldn't breathe. She froze, she was pinned down with the anxiety that weighed down her chest. Tears welled in her eyes, threatening to slide down her cheeks. She just wanted it to stop.
Rosie stayed still, "Freya?"
"I-I-" Freya could barely speak, she couldn't use her tongue, it was solid and cold.
Rosie stared at her, the realisation hitting her like a punch in the stomach and she lurched back. She was glad that she'd only been able to undo her trousers, but the pain hung heavy in her heart. She'd frightened Freya.
"I-I'm so sorry, I'm really sorry." Rosie stuttered, panic filling her chest like water. She was drowning, she didn't know what to do. She couldn't lose Freya, she'd tried so hard, and now she'd ruined it.
An escaped tear rolled down Freya's cheek as she sat up and buttoned her trousers.
"I would never, ever, hurt you. I promise. Fuck, shit, fuck! Freya please believe me." She took a step forward, only causing Freya's body to flinch in a sudden jerk.
Her heart crumbled.
"Pipsqueak." She said gently.
"No," Freya said, bravery burning in her heart. "Is that what this has all been about?! These last few months! Trying to get me into bed?! Trying to make me sleep with you? I bet you've had your pick of girls, haven't you? You're such a-a-" She couldn't think of a word strong enough for her emotions. "Bitch! You're such a bitch! You're a player! I hate you!"
She stood, grabbing her coat from under the bed, "I fucking hate you."
"Don't go!" Rosie grasped her hand, desperately reaching out.
"Don't fucking touch me!" She yelled, the emotion streaming down her face. "Is this what you always do? Pick on weak minded girls and make them believe you love them?!"
I do love you, but of course she would never say that out loud.
"I am not some play thing! I am not your toy! I am a human being, I deserve respect! It is my body, I say when and I say who!" She shook from head to toe, and Rosie wasn't sure if it was fear or anger, it seemed to be both. "And it will never, ever, be you! Not now." Freya turned, the candle in her heart was dying, she needed to leave before she collapsed into Rosie's arms and sobbed. She wouldn't give in. She felt used.
Rosie couldn't stop her, her whole body told her to grab the door and shut it-but she'd already frightened her. Freya ran as fast as her legs would let her. The wind whipped her face as she darted home, the tears staining her cheeks with the nightmare she was living in. She opened the door, the warmth hitting her like a blizzard, and clambered up the colossal stairs until she collapsed in her bed.
That night, her voice sang of pain. Like a bird with a broken wing, her heart felt the agony.
Rosie stared at the door, no tears in her eyes, it hurt too much to cry. This was why she never opened up. This was why she didn't allow herself to feel. This was why her walls were constantly up, rebuilding themselves as people tried to obliterate them.
Rosie went into the bathroom of the house and stared in the mirror, this was who she was. Nobody loved her, nobody cared, even when she tried her hardest, they walked away. She raised her fist and plummeted it into the glass, shattering it onto the floor. She felt the familiar sting in her knuckles as the blood peaked to the surface.
This was who she was.
YOU ARE READING
Pipsqueak (BEING EDITED)
Romance|ORIGINALLY TITLED THE BAD GIRL CALLS ME PIPSQUEAK| Rosie was a tall girl; her hair was dark brown and fell short by her ears in a scruffy pixie cut. She had a black beanie hat on her head and dark red lipstick on her lips. She was wearing black, r...
