How You Should Love (Completed)

The Lies We Tell Ourselves

Soundtrack: Kodaline-All I Want

Third Person POV:

It's ironic how she felt the warmth of someone enclosing her body but still felt dead cold inside.

This is happiness,wasn't it?

She had already find her lighthouse,the beacon of light in her world,her shelter in this raging storm inside of her but why isn't she happy?

Then the voices were getting louder and louder inside her head.They were right now screaming at her telling her about the shame she had hidden in the closet.

'You are a filth Mina,you are a hypocrite'

Was she?

Mina screw her eyes tight by that cruel thought inside her head. She cheated  over with her wife with a young guy and now she was cheating over that young guy with her ex-wife. Her life was so fucking absurd and she felt so trapped in a world built with lies.

Lies after lies after lies she told herself over and over again.

"You're still awake?"

The said person ask her on her side scooting closer to her and kissing the crown of her head. Mina wipe the batch of tears that fell from her eyes for the other one not to see.

It was 2:42 am in the morning inside some seedy motel room in a town far from the city.

"I just can't sleep Chaeng that's all"

She said back,yes she can't sleep because everytime she shuts her eyes she was being haunted by the cruel voices inside her head.

"Come on this will help you fall asleep"

Chaeyoung said as she pull out her phone and attached one end of her earphones to Mina and the other to herself.Chaeyoung played a song that helps her fall asleep and shared it with Mina, the song is entitled Flightless Bird  by the band American Mouth.

Chaeyoung melodiously hum the song while gently stroking Mina's hair eventually silencing the cruel voices inside Mina's dull mind.Not too long Mina had drifted herself to sleep.

When she woke up the other side of the bed was completely empty,and there was her heart again becoming cold  without someone elses warmth. Chaeyoung was gone leaving a note on the bed side.

To Mina,

Got to drive early and be home before Dahyun I can't afford her bombarding me with questions again.Call me when you're home,please drive safe.

I love you.

~Chaeng

Mina folded the note and throw it on the bin.She lifelessly stood up and went to the bathroom to wash her face.Looking at the mirror she saw the dark circles around her eyes because of lack of sleep.

She was now looking at herself in the mirror.She saw an image of a fragile vase near from cracking up.She breathe a lungful of air and tightened the grip of her hands at the edge of the sink.Being alone had waken up her own vulnerabilities that she kept hidden away from Chaeyoung.

'You should have told her the truth'

Mina cried herself inside turning herself into a crying mess.Her muffled cries reverberating inside the tiled walls.

It pains her not telling her the truth because she doesn't want to lose her if she finds out about her filthy dirt.Right,she was selfish all because she doesn't want to return in a world with infinite grey.That it is better for her to live in half lives rather  than returning to  that  melancholic abyss.